#h50fixit

******

Steve smiles as he watches the new recruits going through their paces. Clara introduced him to a friend working at the coast guard training centre after Steve moped around Jersey for a month. It took him a week to volunteer and he’s been here on and off for the last eight months. He’s in regular contact with his team and he met up Kono and Chin a couple of times, but he thinks he’s ready to go home now. He misses the team but most of all he misses Danny. He keeps going back to the last image he has of him, sitting on his chair looking out over the sea. He should have walked back, and .. his heart knows exactly what he should have done but back then his mind wasn’t ready. Right now his heart has convinced his mind that Danny is his peace and quiet, despite his loudness. His phone pings and he knows it’s Clara reminding him to be on time for dinner. He shoots a text back before waving to the crew, he finished his goodbye rounds already and he’s more than ready for some food. 

******

The overhead lights blink on and Steve fastens his seat belt. The plane starts its descent and Steve closes his eyes. The touch down is a little rough, and when the lights blinks off he remains in his seat waiting for the plane to empty before he grabs his duffel from under the chair in front of him. 

He’s impatiently waiting for his suitcase by the baggage belt and he keeps glancing at the big window at the end of the hall, trying to catch a glimpse of his partner. Danny insisted on picking him up and Steve agreed readily. When he walks through the sliding doors the first thing he sees is Charlie holding up a sign with ‘Aloha Uncle Steve’ on it in bright rainbow coloured letters. His eyes find Danny, the world around them fades away, and Steve’s heart skips a beat. Someone barrels into him and the moment is broken. Charlie spots him and is running top speed towards him, Steve catches him easily, hugging the little boy close as he walks towards Danny. He sets Charlie down on his feet when Danny opens his arms. He falls into them and tightens his arms around the broad back, he inhales Danny’s familiar scent and instantly relaxes. Danny is murmuring stupid nonsense into his ear and Steve just hugs him closer, not willing to let go just yet. When Charlie tugs on his pants he draws back a little, ruffling the boy's hair. He looks at Danny, pulling him in slowly. One hand cupping his cheek, he lets his thumb trail over Danny’s lips. He leans in and gives Danny ample time to pull away but when he doesn’t move Steve dips down and kisses Danny full on the mouth. Danny briefly kisses him back before he draws back. Softly smiling he tugs Steve’s ear.

“What took you so long, huh?”

A loud ‘ewww’ from Charlie startles them both into a laugh and Steve picks him up, swinging him high making him giggle. He slips his arm around Danny’s waist as they walk out of the airport. He stops and breaths in the humid, ocean air. He’s home.

*******

Danny pulled the scarf up around his neck, hunched against the wind and a few determined pellets of freezing rain, as he made his way to the rental car building.  The inconveniences of flying in to a small airport, he supposed.  

The Jeep he’d requested was fueled up and ready for him.  He tossed his bag into the passenger seat as he climbed in, wincing a bit.  He hadn’t been back to driving for very long, and the flight had already stiffened his healing muscles.  At least the bruising was completely gone.  It had been weeks before Tani could look at him without tears.  

The freezing rain quickly gave over to snow, making the drive even more peaceful.  He thought nothing of the conditions.  Montana snow was still easier than Jersey ice.  

He wasn’t surprised to see Steve on the porch as he pulled up to Joe’s ranch.  He wondered if there was ever -- would ever -- be a time that Steve wasn’t hyper-aware of his surroundings.  He wondered the same for himself, now, as he pulled himself carefully, stiffly, out of the driver’s seat. 

"I told you not to make me come looking for you, you stubborn ass."

“I wouldn’t have thought you’d look for me here,” Steve said, pulling a blanket tighter around his shoulders.  

“Yeah, for someone who needed to get away from memories . . . you picked a weird place for that,” Danny said.  He studied Steve, taking in his appearance.  His cheeks looked a bit pinched under  his thick, soft beard, but his beard was trimmed, his eyes clear.  Danny had seen worse.  He snorted as he took in Steve’s bare feet.

“Must be slipping if you could track me,” Steve said.  “Or was it a lucky guess?”

“You gonna let me come in, or you gonna get frostbite on your toes?”

Steve smiled at him then, genuine and full of affection.  Danny felt relief wash over him.  

“Get in here, Danno.”  Steve held his arms open, and in a few steps, Danny felt himself wrapped tight, cocooned with Steve in the warmth of the blanket.

******

“I can’t believe you low-jacked me,” Steve said, but he was grinning.  

“Catherine said she’d tag the one thing you’d never ditch.”

“My Sig?”

“The picture of Grace and Charlie, actually,” Danny said.  He raised his eyes to look into Steve’s.

Steve’s breath caught.  “I love them.  That’s why I can’t come back, Danny.  She knew, she knew exactly how to get to me, how to hurt me the most -- I almost lost you.  What if it’s not over?  Hell, what if someone else I took down decides to come after me?  What if they go after the kids?”  He stood up abruptly and walked to the fireplace.  Resting his hand on the mantel, he turned his back to Danny.

Steve flinched when Danny rested a hand on his back.  “Turn around and look at me,” Danny said softly.

Steve turned, reluctantly, and even with his head ducked down, Danny could see tears threatening to well over.

“Steve.  You remember the last time I got shot?  Did that have anything to do with you?”

Steve shook his head.

“No.  That was one of my old cases.  That guy could have decided to go after the kids.  Thank God he didn’t.  But Petterson did, remember?  He took Gracie.  You’re not the only one who’s made enemies in their line of work, Steven.  I have, too.  Your dad did.  Your mom.  And Joe.  But you have something they didn’t, Steve, you have a family.  An ohana.  You taught me that -- you gave me that.  And now, instead of turning to that family for comfort -- comfort we all needed -- you ran.”

“I’m exhausted, Danny, like never before.  I thought, getting away, getting some space, would . . . and then I almost lost you, because of a vendetta against me and I thought -- I wanted to get as far away as I could, before anyone else got hurt.  I didn’t want to risk hurting the team any more by staying.”

“You hurt us by leaving,” Danny said softly.  “You hurt me, leaving.”

“Danny, I’m so sorry,” Steve said.  “I should have been there for you.”

“Did leaving help?  Has some space and distance helped you, Steve?”

Steve shook his head, the tears finally spilling over.  “No,” he rasped.  “God, no.”

Danny pulled him into his arms, Steve tucking his face into his uninjured shoulder.  Danny could feel a few hot tears splash onto his neck.

“You needed a vacation and instead chose an exile,” Danny said, rubbing Steve’s back.  “Nincompoop.”

Steve chuckled and held Danny tighter.

“I’m pretty sure we’re both exhausted,” Danny said.  “Come on, let’s get some rest.  Then we’ll talk.”

It seemed the most natural thing in the world to follow Steve down the hall and into the bedroom he was using.  Steve shucked off his jeans and pulled on a pair of soft, faded flannel pants.

“My bag’s still in the Jeep,” Danny said, but he was already unbuttoning his jeans and flannel shirt.  Steve reached into a drawer and pulled out a similar pair of flannel pants and tossed them to Danny.  It was easy enough for him to shed his jeans, but he winced as he tried to ease his arms out of his shirt.

“Let me help,” Steve murmured.  He gently, carefully slipped the shirt off Danny’s broad shoulders and tossed it aside.  His fingers traced carefully over Danny’s black t-shirt, where he knew the bullet wound was, feeling the small bandage still present.  “It’s healing?”

“Yeah, Steve.  It’s healing just fine.”  Danny pulled on the flannel pants, shooting a glare at Steve’s smirk when he rolled the hem up.  “Shut up and gimme some socks, would’ja?”

The bed was soft, the fluffy quilts just the right weight, and Steve’s shoulder the perfect fit.  This was different than sharing the bed in DC.  There was no hesitancy, no caution.  DC had been about efficiency and Steve’s raw anguish.  This . . . this was mutual exhaustion and mutual comfort. 

“I shouldn’t have left,” Steve said, rubbing his fingers absently over Danny’s bicep.  “You were already living in my house, this should have happened a while ago.”

“Well.  Technically, nothing’s happened yet,” Danny said.  He thought they were on the same page, done with fighting this thing between them, but what if --

His thought was cut off by Steve leaning up and over, pressing his lips to Danny’s in a soft, sweet, lingering kiss.

“There.  Now, technically something has happened.”

“Can I hope for more to happen?” Danny asked.  He couldn’t keep the grin off his face if he tried, but Steve looked solemn.

“If you can forgive me,” he said quietly.  “And if you can’t, I’ll understand.”

“Goof,” Danny said, wrapping his hand around the back of Steve’s neck and pulling him down for a kiss, one that was not quite as soft, or sweet.  “Steve.  I do forgive you.  Yeah, it hurt but . . . I know you were trying to do what  you needed to do, to protect us.  But next time, listen, hunh?  When you get wrapped up inside your head and feel like you need to run, listen when I ask you to stay, yeah?”

*****

Danny woke slowly, the smell of coffee and bacon drifting in from the kitchen.  He sat up in bed, stretching out his stiff shoulder, and stopped in surprise at the sight of Steve’s bag, open and mostly packed at the end of the bed.  He slipped out of bed and padded toward the kitchen, careful not to trip on the too-long pajama pants.

“Babe?”

Steve grinned and poured a second mug of coffee, holding it out to Danny.

Danny accepted it and took a grateful sip.  “Your bag is almost packed.”

“Good work, detective.”

“You thinking of running away some more?”

“Thinking of running home,” Steve said slowly. “With you.  For good -- no running; not me, not you.”

Danny pretended to think it over. “Okay.  But before we go back I have some conditions.”

“Okay,” Steve said cautiously.

“No exes, no mysteries and no more 3 letter agencies please!!!"

“Danny, you have to know, Catherine wasn’t --” Steve started earnestly.

Danny held up a hand to interrupt him.  “Babe, I know.  I, ah, might have been the one to suggest Catherine get you through the first leg of your little expedition.  She told me, it’s not that way between the two of you . . . explained it when we were talking about putting that locator on you.  I don’t just mean Catherine.  No more Lyns, or Ambers, or Brookes . . . no more half-assed attempts to convince ourselves that there’s anyone else for us but each other.”

Steve nodded enthusiastically.

“And for the love of God, Steven -- I don’t care who comes with an envelope or a message from the beyond -- no more.  Stop letting your past hurt you.  You’re not responsible for the choices of your parents.  You don’t owe them anything.  You don’t owe the CIA or the NSA or any other alphabet a damn thing.”  Danny didn’t try to keep the anger out of his voice.

“The Navy?” Steve asked quietly.

Danny heart skipped a beat.  “You’d give it up?”

“For you.”

“Babe.  Asking you not to love the Navy, to cut yourself off from your fellow sailors . . . God, your brothers . . . no.  No way.  But no crazy stunts!  No more jumping in with Junior on crazy missions!”

“I’ll ask you first, I promise,” Steve said, grinning.

“Ask -- first --  no, no, Steven, that is not --”  Danny stopped, narrowing his eyes at Steve.  “You’re joking.”

Steve shrugged.  “Mostly.”  He turned back to the stove and cracked some eggs into a skillet.

“So?”  Danny asked.  Steve looked back at him over his shoulder.

“So, what?”

“So, do you agree to my conditions?”

“Yes, Danny,” Steve said, rolling his eyes.  “Yes, I agree to your terms, I accept your conditions, nag, nag -- here.  Eat your breakfast.  We need to get to the airport, catch the next plane out.”

Danny took a bite of perfect scrambled eggs and moaned softly.  Steve raised his eyebrows and gave him a heated glance.

“I never even got my bag out of the car,” Danny said.

“Well, that’s gonna make packing real easy for you, buddy.”

“Or . . . you did, at one point, want to get away.  Get some space.  Clear your head.”  Danny gestured around the ranch house, the wide porch, and the peaceful scenery around them.  “You could still do that.”

Steve put his plate down across from Danny’s with a thunk.  “I thought you wanted me to come home.”

“Oh, I do.  Absolutely.  But . . . we’re here already.  We both could use some time away, some time to rest, and heal . . . together.  Don’t you think?”

Steve nodded, a slow smile spreading across his face.  “Yeah.  Yeah, that sounds nice, Danny.”

Danny grinned back at him.  “And, you know, we can see if . . . maybe that something more we mentioned will happen.”

Steve stood up quickly.

“Ste -- where you going?” Danny waved his fork at Steve’s still full plate.

“I’m getting your bag out of the car and calling Catherine to say thank you,” Steve said.

“Nincompoop!” Danny called after him.

“Your nincompoop,” Steve yelled back over his shoulder.