JD and Amara save the Multiverse: Bumps in the road
(An interdimensional threat has struck erasing multiple timelines from existence, and JD needs to save it, and their own timeline. Amara of the Summer, from a bad end timeline, has reluctantly teamed up with the Jersey Devil under the impression that they can rewrite history and can reverse the damage done the Reigning Passions world and save her beloved. After a long series of events, the duo have found themselves driving through a devastated forest, Amara in the driverâs seat)
JD: (doing finger guns out of sheer boredom) Pew pew pew, boom, pewâŠ
(JD stops, but it only keeps them quiet for a few seconds)
JD:Â So, whereâd the armor...?
JD:Â Did the Queen make you wear it? They are not your friends, Iâll tell you that much. Friends do not let other friends leave the house looking like a Sarah J Maas protagonist.
Amara:Â Would you stop talking about the fucking armor?
JD:Â Okay, geez! Iâm just tryinâ to bond a littleâ
Amara: Yeah? Then talk about something else.
JD: Alright! (sighs) So, if they can fix your world, whatâs the first thing youâre gonna do when you get back home? Some rubbing alcohol shots, maybe a wiper fluid chaser?
(Amara starts to answer, but then stops, having realized something about JDâs word choice)
Amara:Â (with a slight snarl)Â What did you say?
JD:Â I said when you get back, whatâs the first thing youâre gonnaâ
JD: (long pause, having realized their mistake) âŠIf they can fix your worldâ (Amara suddenly slams on the breaks) Oh fuckâŠ
Amara:Â What do you mean, IF?!?!
JD:Â Look, I didnât meanâ
Amara: You lied to me, you donât have a fucking clue if they can fix things, donât you?!
(before JD can respond, Amara suddenly stabs him in the thigh with her sword)
JD: AUGH! FUCK! FUCK! I DIDNâT LIE!
JD: NO! I MADE AN EDUCATED WISH! (enraged by such a stupid justification, Amara twists the blade) OW! FUCK! Look, I did it because I need you! (he produces a photograph of the Havenfall crew, all of whom are at risk of being erased from time) I donât know a damn thing about saving worlds. Why would I even care? My whole world is right here in this picture. Itâs only seven people and I have no idea how to save it alone. I know how to fuck people up for money, but you! YOU know how to save them!
Amara: âŠDid you just say⊠you made an educated⊠fucking⊠wish?
JD: Oh, Iâm sorry, have we met? They call me âJersey Devilâ, not âTruthful Timmy, the Blowjob Queen of Saskatoonâ! (Amara yanks the blade out of their leg) AUGH!
Amara:Â (absolutely seething)Â One more word, please. Just one more fucking word.
JD: âŠGubernatorial. (Amara raises her fist, JD flinches in response) EEK!!!
Amara: (sighs and lowers his fist) You know something? Youâre a fucking joke. No wonder H.E.R.A. didnât take you, or the Starship and theyâll take fucking anybody. I mean, you are a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron. I have never met a sadder, more attention-starved little prick in my entire life, and thatâs saying something because Iâve been alive for over two-hundred fucking years. Iâll tell you, that evil lightbulb was right about one thing, you will never. Save. The world.You couldnât even save a relationship with a goddamn WAITRESS. And motherfucker I wish I could say youâll die alone, but itâs one of GODâS BEST JOKES that you canât die! EXCEPT ITâS ON ALL OF US!!!!!
(and then, the impossible happened⊠JD was speechless. They just stared at Amara, shocked and seeming to have been genuinely hurt)
Amara: What, you got nothing to say to that, Devil?!
JD:Â (their face settling into a determined and rage-filled glare) Iâm gonna fight you now.
Amara:(laughs derisively) Oh, are youâ
(JD suddenly punches her in the face hard enough to cause a nosebleed. Amara stares at him, genuinely shocked for a few seconds, before roaring and responding in kind. The resulting fight, taking place entirely in the car mind you, lasted an entire night. By the time H.E.R.A. found them, both of them were unconscious, except JD was tied up with the carâs seatbelts)
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