#h****

You said my name like it meant something permanent like carving it into a tree would out live both of us

I said yours like passing a stranger in a hallway polite already forgetting the sound of it

You were spring in a room I kept boarded shut You opened windows laughed like sunlight didn't need permission left little pieces of yourself everywhere hair ties, coffee cups hope

I let you

That's the worst part

I let you build a home in a place I knew would never keep you warm

You asked me once not even directly just a quiet "do you feel this too"

And I answered with silence stretched thin enough to sound like maybe

You deserved a yes that didn't hesitate a love that didn't feel like waiting in line for something that would never be in stock

Instead, you got me half-open door half-spoken truths a man rehearsing exits while you memorized his face

I watched you wilt slowly even as you smiled even as you said you understood

god, you always understood

And when you finally left you did it gently like you were afraid I might break from the absence of something I never held properly

now your name lingers like a song I never learned the words to

And I think if I had loved you even a fraction of how you loved me