#gundamit

why do I even make it outside some days. I'm just getting frustrated with not working, not able to work, and minimal social interaction. This night just trying to do things by self but was such a horrible experience, and I typically love doing things by myself. I suppose if the expectations are to experience things or to have semi intimate situations and for it not to happen tends to change my perception. Just a small show, I can't believe how alone I felt in such a small crowd. Plus to be destroyed in a mini mosh pit only minutes later didn't help. I keep choosing to be by myself 95% of the time but I really need that 5%. I'm sure not getting it. I pushed so many people who cared about me away, while I thought it was for the best, nights like this make me reconsider the simplest of choices. Its a good learning experience about myself. I will learn to be social in a more productive matter. I hopefully will make friends with similar interests. I will have a job. I will write stronger music. I will be a better swordsman. In due time.

GUNDAM TANAKA.