#guillannie

Guillaume: Long hair as feminine is a western construct. If you're going to feminize me, at least be conscientious about it and put me in some lingerie.

Annie: Okay, then stop flexing when I'm trying to take your bust size.

Hanzo: She's manipulative.

Cassidy: Well, maybe she wouldn't have to act manipulative, if your boy wasn't a world class a-hole!

Hanzo: Guillaume operates off of a clear outline of moral boundaries. Meanwhile, it's clear you've doted upon Ana-Soledad and allowed her to run wild!

Cassidy: Your boy is a case study in why kids need room to screw up so they don't become complete world class a-holes!

--Meanwhile, literally 15 feet away--

Widowmaker: ...and where's he taking her now?

Sombra, with several hacking windows open: *soft gasp* Awwww! There's a Dario Argento movie marathon at the old cineplex! He got the tickets and she got the popcorn!

Widowmaker: Dario Argento?

Guillaume: *wiping his mouth*

Annie: *staring horrified*

Guillaume: What? I told you, my dragon allows me to harmlessly metabolize poisons.

Annie: You're still supposed to spit the blood out.

Guillaume: Oh. Huh.

I had to look this up to find out it's a family guy reference/tiktok trend, but honestly all I can picture is Annie jamming her foot on Gyo's back to lace him into a corset.

Guillaume: *bracing his hands against the wall and grunting* Eh--ngh--Ana..

Annie: Just hang on a little longer, Gyo, you're doing so well...

*audible sound of seams creaking*

Guillaume: *straining*

Annie: Almost there...!

Guillaume: *pounds fist against wall* ANA! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME!

Annie: SUCK IT UP, BOARDING SCHOOL! *yanks*

Guillaume: *winces*

Annie: *panting* There! Was that so hard?

The rest of the team, getting dressed into their respective disguises in a different room and overhearing this through the walls:

Guillaume: It's obviously just a small grammatical error. Maybe it should say, "All long hair must be pulled back."

Annie: I could pull your hair back.

God, Annie going as Guillaume's Plus One to his boarding school alumni event and actually getting intimidated despite how much she teased and gave him shit about "rich kid school" and Guillaume kind of being caught off guard because Annie's always the cocky one and then the ~Chivalrous instincts~ kicking in hard. But on the other hand, there's also Annie just not having Guillaume being dissed by anyone but her and also being kind of in love with him and knowing how hard he tries etc etc etc

One of Guillaume's Classmates: The others may love pearl clutching and feigning outrage that you would bring one of them here, but honestly it comes as no surprise to me.

Annie: What?

Guillaume: Careful, Loïc.

Loïc: No, no, honestly, despite her... interesting parentage, I find her quite charming in her way. You're really quite lucky to have found someone like her squatting in that black site.

Annie: *flatly* 'Her' is right in front of you, by the way.

Loïc: The only real shocker is that you made it into our school in the first place. With everything your Mother's done, I can't believe the Guillard name hasn't been scorched from the school records altogether.

Guillaume: *blanching* My moth--

Annie: *cutting him off* YOU KEEP HIS MOTHER'S NAME OUT OF YOUR DAMN MOUTH!

*sound of conversation in the room dying off as all eyes fall on them*

Guillaume: *stiffly* Ana, it's fine--

Annie: *pauses and clears throat, touches Guillaume's shoulder* What I meant was... Académie du Sainte Alchoin wouldn't exist if Sylvain Guillard hadn't bravely rescued this school's founder, Etienne Beaufoy during the wars of Polish Succession. On top of that, it's unseemly to speak of a woman who is not here to defend herself, let alone someone's mother. *leans close to Loīc's ear* Of course... not that she needs to be near to defend herself.

Loïc: *visibly shaken* She's not--?

Annie: *shrugs* I couldn't say. *bumps her shoulder into Guillaume with a smile* Gyo here says she's never shadowed us on our dates, but I've never been convinced.

Loïc: ...*swallows hard* En-enjoy the party. *briskly walks off*

Guillaume: *watches him walk off, trying to figure out what the hell just happened*

Annie: *sips her drink*

Guillaume: That was...

Annie: Look, I'm sorry, he got under my skin. If you need me to take off early so you can do damage control, I can--

Guillaume: That was amazing. You just had that ready?

Annie: *fidgeting with her hair* I got nervous and researched a whole bunch of stupid stuff on the orca ride over and I'll be honest I was just eager at least one thing was relevant.

Guillaume: ...I had an ancestor in the War of Polish succession?

Annie: France was involved in so many damn wars. Why were you in so many wars?

Guillaume: Today, I wanted to eat a 🇫🇷croissant.🇫🇷

Annie: 👀~quaso~? 🥺

Guillaume: So I went to a place that sells 🇫🇷croissants. 🇫🇷

Annie: 👄 ~kwa-sohn~😳 

Guillaume: And I returned home with my 🇫🇷croissant.🇫🇷

Annie: 💁‍♀️Qua-so~!💃

Guillaume: And then I ate the 🇫🇷croissant🇫🇷

Annie: ✨Quaso✨

Alternatively they're also that one audio clip where one guy is pronouncing croissant with that one back-of-the-throat c-sound and the other guy is going "A yes, a *HACK*ssant.

"Croissant."

"That's what I said. *HACK*ssant."

"Croissant."