#grundmann

Goddammit, I should be working on a money gig. But political responsibility beckons. We’ve already examined Pamela Elizondo, Paul Merritt, Tim Gildersleeve, and President Cristina Grappo.

Let’s head down the rabbit-hole of DON J. GRUNDMANN!

Don’s candidate statement is a no frills affair. No party. Nothing to say. Just his website: Fight-the-Power.org

For a moment, I wanted to love this guy. He doesn’t need to explain himself. Simple, straight-forward, with a possible Public Enemy reference.

Then I checked out his site...

Oh...

Hmmm...

I see...

The remainder of Don’s site is a racist, homophobic, paranoid run-on sentence involving every conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard and some more including 9/11, JFK’s assassination, RFK’s assassination, climate change, Darwinism, vaccines...You name it. All this ensures that Don’s tinfoil hat is securely in place while he navigates his way out of the Matrix. Think that last sentence is a joke? Here’s one of the first articles you’ll find:

He labels transgender people as psychotic, patronizingly “schools” black people on how their support of Planned Parenthood is aiding their own genocide, and constantly refers to the Bible for “facts”.

I’d honestly find the guy offensive if I hadn’t seen douchebags like him rant a thousand times at Venice Beach, and felt totally confident that no one able to make a sandwich will ever take him seriously. But his candidacy does highlight the fact that a person can suffer from egregious mental illness and still run for office. A quick Google search shows that he’s been running for the Senate AND Presidency as far back as 2008. Maybe farther. It stops being funny and gets a little sad. Surely, this guy is unable to keep a job, probably wandering the streets of San Leandro shouting at fire hydrants, panhandling just enough money to file for the election every cycle, when he should be saving it up for a Greyhound to Florida so he can live with his own kind, right? He must be straight-up destitute, right?

No. He’s a chiropractor. OF COURSE, he’s a chiropractor! Has a place of business and everything. Fuck this guy.

Don’t look at his site unless you have a saint’s patience and find that reading James Joyce makes too much sense. It’s not worth it. If you want to indulge and watch Don rant about the evils of public education while wearing a devil costume, enjoy.