#grumpy oc

“How did you know Leo and Raph were wounded, in the middle of the night? What woke you up?” Donnie added.

“How did you turn my .. 'high energy' when you treated me with Reiki?” Raphael asked.

“Oh, that's what you mean.” Ishtar said and thought about it. “I can sense a lot of things, as a high sensitive person. The first time I was aware of someones presence when I sang, I felt one person. Second time two and third time I felt you all. And although I knew you weren't human, I did not know what you were.

And I don't command Leonardo around, I just asked something specific of him.”

“Oh, Ishtar. It wasn't just asking him something to do.” Splinter said. “You have natural leadership abilities in you. You used that skill subconsciously, and Leonardo responded to it.”

All heads turned to Master Splinter and then to Ishtar, in surprise.

“Yes, I know I have them, but I wasn't aware of using it”, she said hesitantly.

“It's okay Ishtar, I don't blame you for it”, Leo said.

Smiling and relieved, she thanked him with her eyes.

Turning her attention back to the other questions, she said: “It was a gut feeling what woke me up in the night. Or maybe it's called intuition. And then my spirit guide guided me to the infirmary, to prepare everything. Those guides are also with me when I do my healing work, I am aware of their presence. No need to think about why I need to place my hand here. I'm passing-through, I'm passing on the message. But I'm always aware of my surroundings and fully present in my body. I never let them take me over.

I knew you guys are together, because I heard you the first night... No, you were not too loud”, she said when she saw disturbing faces. “Don't worry. I just went to the bathroom and on my way back, I heard you guys were .. having fun”, she grinned.

“And the Reiki treatments?” Mickey asked.

“Phew, how to explain that.. Sometimes when I'm near a person, a question pops up in my head. Something like 'maybe this person needs Reiki, or a massage'. And then I ask the person if he or she wants it.”

Facing Raphael, “I didn't turn your high energy off. I simply guided the Reiki energy from the universe through my hands into your body. I did use a softening symbol on you, but that is only to make the energy softer. How a body reacts to it, depends on the person itself.” she said. “But, I have to say, most people fall asleep under my hands.”

“The way you're telling it, makes it sound so simple”, Leonardo said.

“Well, it may be now, but it took me years to reach this. I was aware of my healing abilities when I was only twelve years old. But in a world where it's not a normal standard to have this, it's hard to stay connected with it. Wonderful to work with, when it's all love and light. But... that's not the world we live in, you know.. I sometimes have felt myself 'the angel of death'.”

“What do you mean by that?” Raphael asked suspiciously.

Ishtar sighed, “When a person is in the hospital or very sick, and I focus my attention to that person, I can feel …? No, I just KNOW if that person is going to make it or not. Even if that person isn't going to die in another week or two, I already know. And that is the downside of this. Precisely for that reason, my 'radar' isn't constantly on. Just to keep myself sane.” She ended with a sad smile.

“Well, I think it's great you have these spiritual gifts”, Leonardo said as he laid his hand on her arm.

“Yes Ishtar, this is something to cherish”, said Splinter.

“Thank you so much, this means a lot to me.    Uhm Leo, I wanted to ask. I would like to use the dojo tomorrow. At what time are you done training?”

“Around eleven. Do you need us out of there?”

“Not necessarily. But I do need a lot of space, so .. if I at least can move around unhindered, it would already make a difference.”

“Of course, that's possible anyway.”

“Thank you.”

“What are you planning to do, Ishtar?” Mickey asked.

“I haven't got any plans yet, I'll know when I'm there.”

“Hmm, mysterious much.. Do you need something? Anything we can provide?” Raphael asked.

“Uhm, a blindfold would be useful, the rest I can find on my own.”

She saw raised eyebrows, but she didn't say anything about it.

Next morning while everybody was in training, Ishtar collected a music player and put some suitable music on it. She took a speaker and went to the dojo. Walking inside, she sat down on the ground next to the door and waited until training ended.

Leonardo had made it a big workout. When he ended the training, they all fell to the ground exhausted. Lying there on the ground, Leo said, “the floor is yours now Ishtar. Don't pay attention to us, we'll sweep ourselves out of the dojo.”

“Yeah”, panted Donnie, “as soon as we can move again.”

Ishtar chuckled. She set up her music and tied the blindfold around her head, but not yet over her eyes. Walking to the center of the floor, she started to shut out her surroundings. Pushing down her nerves she said to herself “you can still do this. Trust the muscle memory. Even after ages, the body still knows.” Her breathing slowed down as she eased more into her body. She pulled the blindfold down, covering her eyes, and started with warming up exercises.

Meanwhile Leonardo had sat down instead of lying on the floor, still breathing heavily. Very curious to what she was planning to do, he watched. Even though she was just warming up, he still recognized the style. Surprised he gasped, is she really performing a martial arts form? he thought.

Leo whispered to his brothers “Do not disturb her, I am going to get Master Splinter. He must see this as well.”

Three brothers turned their heads towards Ishtar, to be surprised as well.

“Is she doing martial arts?” Donatello asked.

“Yeah, it looks like it”, Mickey responded.

A few minutes later Leonardo returned with Master Splinter. Still tired Leo sat down on the ground again. Master Splinter looked intrigued at Ishtar.

She started her form now. Slow movements, sometimes hesitant, sometimes more certain in her movements. Not afraid to use the whole floor, she moved more and more freely. Fifteen minutes passed, and they still watched her. She finished her Tai Chi form, bowed and walked, still blindfolded to the speaker. Pressing the next song, she started dancing. It was a soft music, but very nice to hear.

Ishtar listened to the music and listened to her body. 'Dear body, which movements are we going to make?'

She eased in her body again, shutting her mind off and her body started to dance. She enjoyed her free movements in dancing and so did her audience. After her long captivity she had no longer such stamina. Too soon in Mickey's opinion she stopped dancing. She walked back to the speaker, pressed stop and sat down. Only then she removed the blindfold.

“Hey, are you still here?” she asked surprised.

“Yes, we all saw your Tai Chi performance. Some of my sons were mesmerized by it”, Splinter said looking at the specific persons. They chuckled awkward.

-------

“Yes, I already had such an inkling that they would. Therefore I wore the blindfold, to stay focused and centered.

So... who's coming with me to the showers?” she asked naughty, not waiting for an answer, she walked already to the door.

Some days later in early morning, Ishtar was woken up by a huge cramp in her calf. “Aaah”, she groaned. Quite grumpy she pulled a shirt over her head and walked to the kitchen, in search for magnesium. “And why is it in the highest cabinet?” she asked to no one in particular. She climbed on a chair to get the jar. She took one pill with a glass of water and made a stop at the bathroom. “Oh, hello Moon”, she said to herself, when seeing blood in her panties. Placing her hands on her belly, she said ceremonial, “I welcome you.” Back in her bedroom she put on a pad and dived back in bed.

Raphael was restless, he hadn't slept well. Walking to Ishtar's room, looking around the door, to see if she was still sleeping. Her energy was a bit off. Worried, he climbed in her bed and lay next to her. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked softly.

“Mrggr.., yes and no”, she mumbled. She crawled to him and snuggled herself in his arms until she was comfortable again. “Just hold me. I'll be fine by tomorrow.” falling asleep, feeling safe in his arms.

A few hours later “Hey, Ishtar, wake up. There's breakfast waiting for us”, Raphael said softly.

“You go, I stay here.”

“You sure? You never skip breakfast. Should I bring you some?”

“Mrggm, no thank you. I'm not hungry yet. I'll grab some later.”

Raphael carefully climbed out of bed, still a bit worried and went to the kitchen.

“Hey, good morning. Did you sleep with Ishtar?” Leonardo asked after he smelled her scent on Raphael.

“Not with her, I just slept next to her. Hey Donnie, I think something is wrong with her. Her energy feels off and she didn't wanna come for breakfast.”

“Does she has a fever? Oh wait, I'll check on her right away”, he said and walked to her bedroom.

Peeking around the door, Donnie looked at Ishtar, who was sleeping again. He felt her energy was indeed a little off. But she was calm. Placing a hand on her head, he checked if she had a fever. No, her temperature was normal.

“Ishtar”, Donnie whispered. “Raphael told us you are not feeling well. What's wrong?”

She opened one eye and looked grumpy at him. “There is nothing wrong with me, Donatello. Just leave me be,” and turned her back to him.

“So, what's going on with her?” Leonardo asked when Donatello came back in the kitchen.

“Don't know. No fever and she talks normal. But she has a temper right now. Stay away from her for the moment, if your skin is dear to you.”

“Are you serious about that?!” Leo asked angry. “Do you let her command you, while you're concerned about her health? I'll show her!” he growled.

Slamming her bedroom door open, Leonardo said angry, “Ishtar, what is going on with you? That's not how we treat each other here, or is it?”

Not impressed by his attitude, she responded with the same energy. “There is NOTHING wrong with me, I just don't feel well today!” she almost yelled at him. “Your attitude is not helping! Just leave me be today. Like I said to Raphael, I will be fine again tomorrow!”

“Wait, what?” Leonardo asked surprised. “So-o.. you are not ill?”

“No, I'm not ill. I have a bad day and my period started this morning. My back hurts, I've got abdominal pain and cramps. I am tired, got a headache and am grumpy as fuck!”

“Indeed”, said Leo.

She sighed. “It isn't always like this, only once in a while. Look, I can't think straight right now. I do appreciate your concern. But how can I accept help if even I don't know what I want or need? So... please, just give me space. Than I will try to not bite your heads off,” she said trembling now.

Raphael who stood behind Leonardo, now walked into her bedroom. Without a word he climbed on the bed and took Ishtar into an embrace. She lay her head at his chest and sighed, already calming down. Leo didn't understand this. She nearly bit his head off, but accepted Raphael so near in her presence. Looking at Raphael with that question in his eyes. “How?”

Leo didn't like it, but turned around, and walked back to the kitchen.

“It takes one to know one,” Raphael said. Leo still didn't understand and frowned.

“I know what it's like to have a temper and how it feels to have your emotions all over the place. She know it too, and feels safe with me.”

During the day Ishtar avoided every contact. She made a kind of nest on the couch, where she drank tea and did some reading. She noticed Michaelangelo and beckoned him. “It's alright if you want to game,” she said. Mickey was grateful for that.

“Do you wanna play together?” he asked.

“No, thank you. I need some alone time. So.. I'll go to the dojo now”.

In the dojo she put on some music, her psyfi trance playlist and slowly danced on the music. Careful listening to her body, she followed the movements her body needed now. Leonardo came looking. Again surprised at her dancing, so natural.

“May I join you?” he asked.

“Yes, but only if you dance for yourself and not with me. I still need my own bubble.”

“I will respect your wishes,” he said with respect.

Unfamiliar with this kind of dancing, he did start moving to the music. Ishtar followed his movements with her eyes. After a few minutes she said “don't think, ease down in your body. Let your body decide which movements to make.”

“I envy you, when you dance like this, it looks so easy.”

“And to think there was a time I didn't dare to dance at all. Hey Leo, stop thinking, just move around.” she giggled.

When she made herself ready for bed, Raphael entered her room. “I want to take care of you, will you let me?” he asked unsure.

“All I need now is sleep, Raph. No touching and funny business tonight.”

“Wasn't planning to, babe” he said with raised hands. “I just want to be close to you.”

She sighed. “Sure, you can sleep in my bed tonight. But if you snore too loud, I will push you out.”

Raphael laughed.

Next morning her body still hurt, but she wasn't grumpy anymore. She thought about her behavior yesterday and regretted the way she acted. Since she had slept in, already eleven 'o clock, everybody was already up and about. At lunch, she made her sincere apologies. Of course they accepted it. Master Splinter made a comment. “I appreciate it you made your apologies on your own account. And I'm happy to notice you feel safe enough in this home, to be yourself. That you dare to feel every emotion there is, and show it as well. What did you learn from all this?”

She thought about that for a while.

“That I cannot control everything of my body.

It's better to avoid confrontations than to meet them head on.

If I do get in a confrontation, count first to ten, or a hundred.

Dare to ask what someone's motives are.

And consider help when offered.”

Splinter nodded, he was pleased with her answers. The brothers were impressed by her answers. Smiling, Ishtar now turned to them. “And what did you learn from this?”

Taken aback by that, they didn't respond immediately. So Mickey answered: “Treat Ishtar with care when she is in her Moon.”

Ishtar laughed out loud. “Oh yeah, that sums it up right! Thank you Michaelangelo.” And she hugged him.

“Can we make this a group hug?” Mickey asked.

“Yes please, I like that very much.”

She sighed in the big embrace. She loved them so much, it made her a little emotional. A tear rolled down her cheek. Raph saw it and asked concerned “You alright babe?”

“Yes I am, just the realization I love you guys so much.”