WEDNESDAY EARLY MORNING REFLECTION POSTTTT I LOVE YOU ALL💕❤️ Procrastination is really avoidance. I do it a lot. For example, I’m committed to working on my taxes and settling on my credit card debt. It’s at the top on my priority list. Everyday. And I avoid it. At the end of the day I’m like ,” well shit what the hell is stopping me from dealing with this?” Insecurity. My identity is prided I’m being good at everything. If I’m good/perfect/impressive then I am ALLOWED to be LOVED by others. Admitting that I don’t know anything about finances, money, taxes or financial is almost not an option. I hear my dad “ you should know all of this by now.” And then a withholding of love or affection. That’s just the way my family operated. Everyone was supposed to “know.” It was our way of protecting each other from looking weak. And this was the way my parents coped with the world. There’s nothing wrong with it (and keep in mind I LOVE my parents to death.) Not knowing = judgement = not receiving affection = abandonment = being alone That’s how I interpret stuff that I don’t want to do. And it’s fucking crazy. I’m a crazy person. I’ve made myself afraid of everything. Not knowing what my shadow looks like, not knowing where my next meal will come in, not knowing if I’m in the “right” relationship, not knowing if I’m in the “right” career, not knowing if I have the “right” friends ALL OF IT SHIT I MADE UP. NOT. TRUE. @tonyrobbins says your life is made in your decisions so every time this comes up I’m deciding to chose facing those sensations/experiences head on with the person I am. I stand for equality, solidarity, family and healing. I’m down with everything that this is. I know it’s just a to do list, but there’s a universe of things to delve into and how you work. I’m tackling all my unconscious biases to make conscious decisions so i can live the best life ever. 👶🏽😁😎❤️🙏🏾💐 Grow with me! What is it that you’re afraid of? What don’t you want to face ? Let’s tallkkkk #safespace #chrisceliz #roadtoGOAT #beatboxteacher #growthyo #earlymorning https://www.instagram.com/p/BpmEAZjF_SY/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ko4gdva7n3rf
