Okay, part two of my of ranting about Ace's death. Last time I focused on my issues narratively and with writing decisions. This part is much more personal. As someone in their 30s who lives with autistim, it can be easy to be hard on myself when a character death affects me as much as Ace's does. To this day, if I think about it too much, I will still start sobbing. I'm still learning to be patient and kind with myself concerning things that may not be seen as societally normal. So figured that sharing why its hard for me might help some other people who might be struggling with being kind to themselves or with why they're so affected. If anything, it helps me to write it out as well.
Being autistic, I sometimes struggle with separating from the canon when it comes to characters. Of course I have my own headcanons and love reading fanfiction, but it's still hard to look at the canon as a separate multiverse.. Which can make it really hard for me to pretend like the death didn't happen. No matter how much fanficiton/head canons that I read, I can never truly set aside the fact that, in canon, Ace is gone.
One thing that I have learned about my self by consuming fiction is that I have a high need for narrative logic. So when any type of story establishes strict rules for how a world works, or how a character acts, my brain expects the creator/narrative to follow those rules. For me, when those pre-establsihed rules are broken just to force a tragic ending, it feels like a physical hit that breaks the immersion for me. It is incredibly frustrating in my mind, as it can make it hard for me to get back into the "magic" of the world. Ace's death was illogical in regards to the rigid rules that my brain had learned from previous world building within One Piece itself. While Oda is of course the author, and therefore has the ability/authority to change his rules, the sudden shift that all seemed to be made specifically to shoehorn Ace into death, really knocked me out of the moment in more ways than one. Not only was I grieving his death, I was also struggling to understand the break in the "rules".
For me, when I consume fiction its often not just a story on paper/on the screen. I tend to view it as structured environment with its own set of rules, ethics, and emotional bonds. Whether that is a me thing or is something that a lot of autistic people do, I'm not sure. I do know that when a creator breaks those rules for what seems like cheap writing, it stirs a sense of injustice that is hard for me to overlook. Ace felt like a real, dimension character and I became fiercely protective of his narrative integrity after seeing it stripped away.
Ace was a comfort character for me. I know he didn't have much screen time before his death, but for some reason my brain saw him and decided "that one." Usually when a character becomes my favorite, there isn't always a specific rhyme or reason too it, just a sudden draw and something in the back of my brain that decides "this one is yours now, good luck". For some reason, my brain decided that Ace was that character. He became a safe space that my brain could look too when I needed something predicatble and comfortable in the world. When Oda killed Ace, especially in the manner that he did, it felt like someone broke into my house, stole my safety blanket, and then replaced it with a scratchy towel as a way to say "get over it" (I'm looking at you Sabo).
I mentioned briefly at the end of the first part, that other character death's, while still painful, didn't hurt me nearly as much as Ace's did. I think in part, that's due to the way everything was handled. When a character death feels like a natural story progression to me, then it's easier for me to grieve them in the moment and move on. But when a character dies because of what my brain perceives as poor/forced narrative choices (as is the case with Ace), my sadness spirals with the unfairness that is hard for me to get over. It feels like watching the visible hand of the author overriding the natural pacing of the story.
Whether it is objectively true or not, to me it feels like Ace didn't die because he was bested or because his time had come; it feels like he died because the script demanded it, logic be damned. Ace was treated as a roadblock that needed to be taken out rather than the dynamic, charismatic character that he developed into. He was written into a corner by a plot script that prioritized a predetermined planning over the growth of the characters.
When I was learning about writing and creative fiction, I was always taught that it was okay (And important) to let your story develop with your characters. Essentially, even if you have an idea of where you want things to go, it is okay and common for plans to change as characters grow and form naturally with the story. The quick regression of Ace's growth and disregard for his established abilities, went against this in a way that felt like a disrespect to his character.
I think that if only one of these things had taken place (either Ace dies and we aren't provided with a clone character/rushed grief process OR Ace live's in a way that still allows for Luffy to prosper), then I probably wouldn't feel the need to break into sobs everytime I think about him just a bit too much.
I know this was less of a critical post and more of a ranting about how my brain works and why Ace's death bothers me so much. But I think it's important to share things like this. I was late diagnosed as autistic and am still learning to deal with a lot of the things that come with being autistic. This rigid thinking and empathy/attachment to fictional characters is a part of that. A part that I was ashamed of for a long time no less.
So I guess that this post exists just to say: Go ahead and cry over fiction. Mourn your comfort characters. It's okay to be upset. It's okay to be emotional. It's okay to feel however you want to feel about fiction or media, no matter what the broader public or fanbase may think/feel.
I'm still debating on writing a third part to this that covers some of the ideas that I think would have worked out better in regards to Ace (both looking at if he did still die vs him living). However, I'm not sure if I'm up to formatting and posting a third long essay just yet. Maybe that will be a project for future me.
Part 1
