#greytxt

when Emily Bronte said I wish I were a girl again, half savage and hardy, and free- and all I could think of was yes. skinned knees and scraped palms and grass in my hair, because the only thing I was chasing was the sound of my best friend's laughter as we scaled trees and battled dragons and became our own knights. I think of the dandelion wishes and scrapes of dirt across my cheek, and I wonder, where did she go? and I wonder, what's stopping me from being her again? and I realise, myself.

-and I can hear my neighbor playing the piano through our shared wall and the rain hitting the roof and I can close my eyes and imagine you here, with me, sitting next to me on the couch with your feet tucked under your lap and your head on my shoulder. and I close my eyes and we're under the same blanket and your arms are thrown around me with such force that I nearly fall over, but it's okay because we're laughing, and I close my eyes and. and I miss you.

do you ever think of how many people you leave behind as you grow up, just drifting apart naturally? i was waiting in a line yesterday and i saw my best friend of all of middle and high school and we saw each other and waved but we didn't stop to talk like we would have and the most painful part about it is how easily we can go about our lives separately when we used to tell each other everything

maybe,,, what if you get tired of hearing me say “make me” and i wake up hogtied at your place with a vibrator already pressed against my dripping boycunt until i learn to be good for you :)