#greyfeathers

I have never had much of a mothers instinct. I get uncomfortable when you hand me a child. Then I bought a pack of seeds. I’m not sure why. I planted many of them because I have never been able to keep anything alive for long, and I wanted to make sure that some of them would make it. Then i watched them sprout one by one. Nearly all of them came to life before me - because of me. And now they thrive in my little window. I realized that I have it in me to bring life. To be a shepherd. This made me feel beautiful. More whole. Like I wasn’t just myself anymore but I have spread to the plants in my window, growing now beyond my own body. This is surely how a mother must feel.  

A timeless land

where all is taken in by breathing

fog carries the sea to our lungs

and the waves knock on our door

but still we live on

With a pulse so much stronger

And a hunger so fierce

I am devoured

touched by the pressure 

by the presence of a million bodies

Obsessed with the poison in the air

addicted to the sickness it brings upon

the mind, the body, the soul.

Leave me to my struggle 

beaten but fierce 

and do not try to save me

Hold me but leave me broken

and love me for the monster i am

The wave is the blanket on your bed  close your eyes and dream of home you are safe in its embrace nothing can harm you

I pull the wave around me for I cannot fight the salt in my tears dream of me one day we will be together i will weave you another shape of my longing so you may one day swim with me

I see now 

what leads to a mans demise is not love 

But to be denied access to heaven 

Not until then, there is nothing he can do 

but turn away and go to hell

My hungry roots reach for you

but find only a heart of stone

So beautifully dressed in your demons 

with a skin beneath so white and clean

thus you balance between heaven and hell

creating chaos where you go