#grender

This is not the gotcha moment you think it is. African Americans are a minority in my country and unfortunately my grandfather says a lot of 'colorful' things about them, he also gets mad when we tell him to stop being racist and his defense is the same, that he shouldnt be forced to change the way he speaks because "its not like theres any here" (written in kinder terms, he said the N word again), as in theres so few around as a minority group he thinks hes unlikely to get shit for it and doesn't like being told hes an asshole for it. You sound like my racist grandpa the way youre talking to and about specifically transgender women like that. You are wholesale missing the argument and you lost the plot the moment you reblogged that post and opened with "man" and subsequently spent the next several tags and posts trying to defend yourself in spite of being demonstrably in the wrong here. Just fucking apologize to her and yeah, maybe do try a little harder to be consiserate of the feelings of REAL HUMAN PEOPLE, even if others are rude to you. Grow a sense of empathy.

I dont think you deserve death threats and im not sure of the magnitude of the comments and asks you sre recieving; but your behavior has baited me into responding and really at this point I csn only reiterate you are, in fact, in the wrong because you think your shit dont stink.

I think when trans women and other minorities say they dont like something that seems to have *suddenly become an issue*, you're the asshole if you think to yourself "well surely not *that* many people will be offended if I do this inflammatory thing they said not to on purpose because im more okay with it than they are".

okay, look. once again there is a big difference between "saying colorful things about black people" and saying "guys" in a neutral group way. there is a difference between some old man thinking it's fine to say the n word, and me thinking it's fine to say "guys" about people who haven't expressed that they don't like it.

NO, i don't go check out someones blog every time i reblog a post from them, even when i'm tag rambling. generally i don't expect them to even see me, much less interact! and NO, i was not calling her a man, i used the expression at no one in general, that comment wasn't directed at her or any person really. because again i didn't expect her to see my tags, why would i direct them at her??

just because SOME trans women say they have an issue with it doesn't mean that all, or even most, do - and no this isn't the same as calling any random trans person the t slur or talking about the community with that word, so no you can't just say it's the "well i have black friends" excuse. some women don't like being called "dude" and that's okay, i'm not gonna tell them they're wrong for not wanting to be called something and i'm not gonna call someone something i know they don't like.

idk what you mean by "baiting you into responding" since YOU were the one who sent me an ask, then immediately sent another after it took me days to reply, but just so you know she blocked me when i actually replied to her reposting my tags as a reblog. and i'm fine with that. i'm not her kind of people and she's not mine, we can live our separate lives with our different opinions. still doesn't mean that people - including me, now that i know, but that's kind of a moot point now - get to just call her whatever and it's fine, but you cannot actually expect me to check every persons blog i reblog from right? i click tumblr notifs on my phone sometimes, i don't live here. and i don't think it's fair to expect people to guess someone's preferences and needs without knowing them or being informed of them, either. as many women as i might help because we wouldn't have to talk about it, there will be just as many who would be upset with me treating them differently to all my other friends. which is why i ask, because it's a personal preference and not every trans person is the same.

maybe if she hadn't started her response to my personal ramble with an attack, it would have gone nicer and we could have understood each other's viewpoint, but instead she blasted me for all her followers to see. you wanna talk about being considerate? she could have just blocked me when she got upset by the tags, or approached in a more private or less hostile way.

i'm not a trans woman but i still experience transmisogyny, i still get misgendered all the time, i still had to do feminizing transition steps, i still get dysphoria, and i hate being treated like a man. i have experience in the trans community, i've been actively part of it (mainly offline) since 2014. but things like "guys" and "dude" don't bother me, personally, because in my mind they are gender neutral (and generally used that way by the people around me, too). that same friend group has several trans women who feel the same way, and a few who don't like when i say "dude" etc at them so i avoid it. cause you know... just like if someone didn't like being called "honey" because of its feminine associations or because it's diminutive, i would avoid it for them. but i'm not going to avoid calling everyone "honey" just because i need to not call a few people "honey".

My selective breed for Petz 4, the Grender

that was about two years ago