#granaderos

The school bell rang for to tell us all that the last class was over and it was time to head home. I gathered my books and pen, and put it back in my bag. At least four people shoved me as they passed by me, eager to go get out to their friends waiting for them outside. I was used to that. I was invisible. Cliche right? But I didn't really mind. Not being noticed was a lot better than being bullied and picked on by the popular kids. Better to be a nobody than to be a walking target, I thought to myself as I left the classroom and entered the hallway. And there, as a red line under everything I had just thought, I spotted the people I was most scared would notice me. The football-players. The bullies. They were scaring the crap out of some poor nerd being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and front and center as always was the boss of them all. The head-bully Montgomery de la Cruz. Why is it that the more money your parents have, the uglier person you get? I mean, not on the surface of course. He was actually really good looking. The kind of guy who would make the girls melt at his feet when he looked at them with his brown eyes, smug smirk and bad boy attitude.  I would probably be one of them if I wasn't so terrified of him and his crew. I have watched them pick on poor innocent souls for years.

I watched from a far as they laughed and high fived over the poor little guy they had just ruined the day of, and hoped they would head out soon so I didn't have to go through the entire school to exit in the other end. There was no way I was going past them. I pretended to look for something in my locker and got lost in my trail of thought. I got snapped out of it when someone passing me walked straight into my shoulder, causing me to drop my bag on the floor. I turned after whoever it was to give them a piece of my mind, but froze before I could make a single noise. I stared right into the back of the group I was so scared of, and it was Monty himself who had hit my shoulder. He didn't even notice. He didn't apologize. He didn't laugh. He didn't call me names. He didn't even turn around. I was quite simply totally invisible. I was relived, but at the same time somewhat disappointed. I don't even know why...

I walked home from school with my closest friend, Jenna, that day. I usually take the bus, but a couple of times a week I walk with her. We live pretty close to each other and I can not wrap my head around why she would walk back and fourth form school every single day, but she says it's good exorcise. Just another thing we don't have in common. We don't really hang out much on the spare time, because we don't have the same interests. She likes working out, horseback riding and fashion. I like music, acting and video-games. But she's easy to talk to, so that's pretty much what we do the times we actually hang out. "Took you long enough", she smiled as I caught up to her and we started walking. "Sorry, I was stalled by Monty and his crew blocking the exit on their quest to torture", I explained. "I can't believe someone so handsome can be so cruel", she sighed, but I could tell she picturing him naked in her head already. And somehow I don't blame her. The muscular body, tan skin, deep dark eyes and his matching brown hair... Oh god, now she got me started. "Some day he will wake up in the gutter somewhere fat, dirty, broke and ashamed of himself", I said to snap us both out of it. It worked. She made a face of disgust and giggled.

When I got home I didn't have time for much else than a quick meal before I had to get ready to head out again. Acting class. The only thing I was really excited about in my life. The only place i could truly be myself. Acting is the one thing I really know I'm good at. Where it's cool to be good at something, and it doesn't make you a nerd. The one place where I'm not quiet and invisible, and don't wish to be either. My place!

I took the bus down to the theater and entered the room with great pride and self-esteem as always. I had been part of this class for more than a year now and people was looking up to me, asking me for tips and almost fighting to be my partner in all the group activities. And I loved that everyone was taking acting so seriously. We started the class the usual way, everyone sitting in a circle on the floor while our teacher told us the schedule.

Timothy Granaderos is not like Montgomery

#justicefortheactors

I was watching them from a far in the hallway again. They were pushing another poor dude around. Throwing his books around, tossing his lunch on the floor and shoving him up against the lockers when he tried to protect himself. Then they all just turned and walked away from him, laughing, leaving him to clean up the mess that they had made. How come there's never any teachers around to see them doing this?! I didn't have any classes with him that day. To be honest I was kind of trying to avoid him anyway. Not that I know why, because he obviously never notices me anyway. I decided not to tell Jenna about it. She was never interested in hearing about my acting class anyway.

I managed to dodge running into him the following day too, but in the evening it was back to acting class. I was kind of hoping he wouldn't show up, but as I walked from the bus-stop I recognized his car driving past me. The only reason I recognize his car is because I needed to know that part of the school parking lot to avoid. He walked through the door right as I sat down and joined our circle. "Welcome back. Today I was thinking we would just continue where we left of last time, so find your partner and keep rehearsing. Do not be afraid to come to me with any questions you might have. Good luck!", she said, and everyone disappeared with their partners. I saw Monty already sitting in the same place we sat the last time with his scrip in front of him, and I walked over. "Hi", I greeted him as I sat down across from him. "Hi", he greeted me back, actually looking up from the paper this time. "So I was thinking, this time we should try to loosen up a bit. I notice you are a bit...closed off, and that is to be expected. It's only your second time and you don't really know me, but just try to breath, relax and just let go", I advice him. "I'll try", he replied, but nothing really changed. We read the lines back and forth a few more times, but he was still so tense. What could I do to loosen him up?! I've seen him at school. I know he's not really like this at all. "What is your safe place?" I asked, interrupting our reading. He looked at me confused. "My safe place?", he asked back. "You know, the one place that you feel you can be yourself. Where all worries disappear and you're free and calm and comfortable". He was still looking at me confused. "Come on. We all have one.", I smiled. He seems to think for a second. "The field, I guess. I play on my schools baseball-team", he told me. I decided to pretend that I didn't know. "What is that like?", I asked. "It's fun. Running around, playing my favorite sport with all my friends. Winning". For the first time I saw him smile a genuine smile. His face looked so kind and mild compared to the one I was used to seeing. I smiled back as he told me about playing baseball. Not because it was interesting, but because I could really see something pure and genuine in his eyes. I wasn't sure he had something like that in him. "What about you? What is your safe place?", he asked. "This. This place. Acting class. This is the only place I can truly be myself."

My plan to loosen him up worked. He seemed a lot more relaxed and confident throughout the rest of the reading. There was even moments of eye contact. The class finished and as I was putting my script back in my bag someone passed by me and mumbled bye. I looked up just in time to see him disappear around the corner to leave the theater. I caught myself smiling. Who is this guy really? Who is the real him? Is it the school bully or is it the insecure guy from class? I thought back to the dream I had and couldn't help but wonder if maybe he had an evil twin. I just couldn't understand how this was even possible. And I was really scared he would turn into school-Monty as soon as he got comfortable in the group.

Somehow I managed to keep dodging him at school for the next couple of weeks. Every class I had with him I was first in and last out, unlike him who was usually last one in and first one out. He never really paid attention in class either so the few times where I actually had to speak up in class he didn't even turn to look at me. The benefit to being invisible. But I knew it was just a matter of time before he would recognize me. At some point there will be a group project and I'll get paired up with him, or a presentation where I have to get up in front of the whole class, and I have no idea how he will react to that. In class he kept getting better. He got more comfortable as we got to know each other better and it seems he might actually have a talent. I managed to add some more theatricality to our readings and it was a lot of progress. He even cracked a few jokes.

It was beyond surreal watching him push people around in the hallways without him even knowing I existed, and then meeting him at class a few hours later where I was the only one he actually knew.

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I zoned out, going through every possible outcome of this in my head while the teacher finished her story about Romeo and Juliet, and the actors finish their little preview. This must be a really bad dream. I could not let him ruin my safe place.

"Let's give them a big applause, people", she said, and we did. "So now, you might have noticed we got a new addition to the group today. Everyone, this is Montgomery. He is not as experienced as you yet, so we all have to be helpful and patient, and soon he'll be just as talented as the rest of you. Montgomery, would you like to introduce yourself? Maybe say a few words?", she asked. "Just... just call me Monty", he said, looking at the floor. He didn't look so scary all of  a sudden, he just looked lost. Like that whole big bad bully act just dropped and was replaced with an insecure little boy. "Alright", she broke the awkward silence.   "I was thinking that since this play is so big, I will pair you up and give each of the pairs one scene to work on for the next couple of weeks.", she continued and pulled out the familiar "randomizer" as she liked to call it. The "randomizer" is pretty much a big black bowl that she uses every time she has to make choices so it will be as random and fair as possible. We have been an uneven number of participants in the class for a long time, so the last three people left in the bowl always ended up as a trio. I watched her as she picked out name after name after name. "Sarah and... Jake, pair up. Ricky and... John, pair up...", she went on until there were three names left. Millie, Taylor and myself. I turned to them and smiled as we were now the last trio. "And finally we are an even number here", the teacher smiled ecstatically. I had totally forgot about Monty. "I was thinking that maybe you, Maya, could pair up with Monty here. After all, you are the most experienced and he is brand new. Maybe you can give him some tips and help him out", she grinned like it was the best idea she'd ever had. I immediately got a big lump in my throat. Me pairing up with Monty? This is the worst nightmare I've ever had.

The groups disappeared into the groups they were assigned to after picking the scene they were playing from the "randomizer", and handed the matching script to the title they had picked. I tried swallowing the lump in my throat and looked over at Monty, who looked very uncomfortable. I decided right then and there that I was not letting him ruin this place for me. Time to grow some balls, even if it meant I had to change school when this was over. This is my place! Mine! And if he wants to be here he has to play by my rules! I walked over to him, trying to be as confident as possible, made one more failed attempt at swallowing the lump and spoke. Here goes nothing. "I need you to know this right away: We are all here by choice. This is our dream and passion. We do not kid around, so if you want to be part of this class you are gonna have to practice, show up on time, do your best and take this seriously. If you are not up for it you should leave right away. This is not school, okay?", I said, not sounding as stern as I was trying to. I prepared for the worst in return. "Okay", he replied. He looked a bit surprised, maybe even a bit scared, but not as surprised as I probably did. Okay? Was that it? Was he just going to take that from me? "Good! Now you go pick a scene for us", I could hear myself say. And so he did. I watched him almost in shock as he walked away from me. I could not believe it. I guess "Mr. Bad ass bully" isn't so tough without his crew around to have his back and cheer him on. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. He came back with the copies of a script and handed me one of them. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt after all. I mean, he seemed so different now. All alone and scared without a single friend, like a lost sheep. "Okay. Remember that this is a safe place. No one here is going to think that this is stupid or lame. No one is going to laugh at you.", I told him and gave him a smile. He didn't reply.

For the rest of the class we just sat across from each other just getting to know our lines, reading them back an forth. He didn't look up from the paper once. "Alright folks. Great job! We are done for today, but hold on to your scripts because you are gonna need them for a while. Remember to practice at home", the teacher yelled from the center of the room so all the groups spread out across the theater could hear her. This was the first time Monty had looked up from his script since we started reading. I was still surprised by how shy and insecure he suddenly was. "Hey, you did great", I encouraged him. He turned and our eyes met. That face that makes all the girls melt was staring right at me, and I had to compose myself to remember how to breathe. "I'm sorry if I was a bit harsh there to begin with", I apologized. "It's okay. Thanks", he finally spoke, his face hard as stone.

As I drifted off to sleep that night I had a dream about him. I dreamt that he had an evil twin. The evil school-Monty VS the good acting class-Monty. It's so hard to wrap my head around that these two Montys was the same person.

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