Unsurprisingly, Will’s pun was not met with a warm reception. Lacey’s expression was unimpressed, but the telltale sign of a smile reinforced his self-satisfaction and he smirked, waving the bouquet almost mockingly over her head.

“Every time you tell a dad joke, you take one year off my life.”

Drawing a hand over his heart, Will’s eyes widened in faux astonishment. “What other kind of joke would I tell?” he asked. “I am a dad, you know.”

In truth, he never got tired of saying so. He had wanted to be a father for a long, long time, so her good-natured barb had only pleased him all the more.

Growing up predominately in the south, Will preferred warm, balmy weather with pungent, salty air and soulful chatter amongst the passerby. Even so, he couldn’t deny that the winters of Virginia held a certain magic. His land was quiet (save for Elijah’s ecstatic shrieks), and as he walked hand-in-hand with his son, he chuckled at the boy’s eagerness to get started.

“Whoa, there,” Will admonished. “Don’t you want to wait for Ava and your mom?”

The boy huffed in reply, only to promptly drop backwards into the snow.

Concerned that Elijah might have hurt himself, Will protectively stooped over in order to give him a hand, only to withdraw once he realized the boy was gleefully making snow angels in the pristine white. 

“Daddy, daddy!” he cried. “Come make one too!”

Eyes crinkling warmly, he nodded before (far more carefully) lying down into the snow alongside his son. He hadn’t really done this with his own father, seeing how they predominately fished together, but it filled him with effervescent joy all the same.

The porch door screeched (he really needed to oil those hinges), and Will looked over amidst his casual arm and leg movements. Ava instantly squealed, and he chuckled at her sheer joy. “At least they’re happy screams,” he said.

Even after all this time, he still wasn’t quite used to that.

Slowly rolling up until he was on his feet, Will dusted off his haunches and approached Lacey and Ava. Stooping in to kiss his wife on the mouth, he grinned before allowing, “They’re the beginning of the snowman, yes, but it seems that Eli got a little sidetracked.”

As if seeming to realize just what was at stake, the boy gasped and vaulted up out of the snow, his back and rear a powdery white as he toddled over to them. “Don’t start yet!” he warned.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Will assured the boy. Discreetly, he hefted a snowball into his palm before (gently) crushing it into the back of Lacey’s soft, styled hair.

“Hey!” Elijah cried, outraged. “Don’t waste the snow!”

“They probably couldn’t, seeing how you need glasses to see,” Will countered, chuckling as he moved back over to the sink. “No sense in exposing them to so much sexiness that they start malfunctioning.”

Lacey nudged past him then, and he moved (albeit grudgingly) to give her more space. “I resent that, you know. Just what kind of a neanderthal do you take me for? ...On second thought, don’t answer that.”

Shrine?

Will laughed at that, turning to lean into the sink as he watched Lacey with her lipstick. “You’re an Adler -- you don’t know the meaning of ‘discreet,’” he countered.

“Excursion or otherwise, it’s still a waste of time,” Will muttered. “Halloween may be my favorite holiday, but I think you know I prefer to celebrate indoors.” 

Admittedly, Lacey’s costume was a visual treat, which only made him all the more eager to get her out of the public eye. He didn’t need leering men hanging around, nor trying to push him out of the way. It had certainly happened before.

When Lacey choked on her drink, Will couldn’t help but laugh, chuckling into the rim of his own glass as he arched a brow. “Careful now. It’d be a shame if you wasted perfectly good bourbon.”

Swirling the amber liquid, he drew a hand over his heart in mock offense. “Why would you think I didn’t know what a clitoris was?” he asked. “Contrary to popular belief, I wasn’t a 30-year-old virgin for my first time. As a boy, I read many books about every topic you could think of -- human nature, psychosis, primal instincts, sex -- the whole nine yards.”

Send “Oops” for your muse to catch mine in just a towel. | @adlerthetattler

Opening the medicine cabinet to fetch his razor and shaving cream, Will turned just as Lacey entered the bathroom. “Do you even knock?” he complained, indicating his state of dress (or lack there of). “As much as I know you just love seeing me naked, I’d rather you not come in willy-nilly in case I’m...y’know...doing something less than appealing.”

@adlerthetattler || This meme (x)

Submerging a plate into the sink, Will scrubbed at the grime with harsh, over-concentrated determination. That was why, he supposed, that whenever Lacey crept up on him and pinched his rear, he nearly dropped the plate back into the sink.

Gaping at her over his shoulder, he couldn’t help but sneer at the mischievous sheen to her eyes.

Will had never been a heavy sleeper. When Lacey was roused from their bed, he shifted slightly, still groggy from repose, before rolling over in an attempt at getting more rest. He assumed she was merely getting a drink of water. More often than not, Ava woke Lacey up in the middle of the night. He presumed that this was one of those times.

But after a few minutes of attempting to drift back off to sleep, Skittles’ sharp, ferocious barks immediately rocketed him up from the mattress. Lacey...

Had she fallen? The dogs were often protective, so sometimes a mere slip-up could cause them to bark and carry on. But no -- this was different. There was venom in the dog’s bark, and, with his heart in his throat, Will rolled out of bed and went staggering for the closet. His shotgun was safely tucked away inside. Lacey had often suggested he get rid of it in case Elijah got into the closet, but in this moment, Will was glad he’d ignored her warning.

After making sure that the shotgun was loaded, he crept through the hallway and began angling down the stairs. Or at least, he had been intent on stealth until he heard Lacey’s screams.

Rushing down the staircase without further hesitation, Will swung his shotgun in the direction of the shadowed figure and fired. Lacey was already on the floor, hunkered over, so he knew she wouldn’t be caught in the crossfire. The man remain upright, so again Will fired -- then again, his blood pumping with rage and adrenaline since he knew exactly who had to have dispatched this invader.

Flicking on the light, he took in the sight of the man sprawled across the floor, surrounded by a pool of blood as Lacey cowered on the floor.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

Elijah screamed then, sharp and piercing, and understandably, Lacey was up like a shot. He moved to intervene, but she’d already gone racing for their son’s bedroom.

That was when the assailant groaned. He was still alive.

Expression cold and biting, Will approached and slammed the brunt of his heel down between the man’s shoulder blades, causing him to cry out in pain. “I’ll be back for you,” he warned.

After gathering up some rope from the hall closet, he returned with sharp, merciless eyes. By this point, the man was whimpering.

“Please,” he begged, “I need an ambulance...”

“Perhaps you should’ve thought of that before you accosted my wife,” Will hissed. Getting down on bended knee, he yanked the man’s arms behind his back and began securing his wrists with rope. Lacey called to him then, and his vengeful fog was only minorly lifted.

“Yes,” he called back over his shoulder, “he was the only one. You should stay with Eli.”

Panicked, the assailant decided to lift his voice. “Please call for help!” he begged. “I promise, I’ll never come here again! I didn’t even want to come!”