#grade e

Tuck and Roll's Drive 'Em Buggies, A Bug's Land, Disney California Adventure [DLR] Hey! Bumper Cars! A classic! How can you screw up Bumper Cars? Oooh, let me tell you. You make them move so ridiculously slow that collisions don't even register. God damn it, Disney, override the freaking lawyers once in a while. E

Backlot Studio Tour, Mickey Avenue, Disney Hollywood Studios [WDW] Born of desperation to compete with Universal's imminent opening in Florida way back in the late 80's, this is a prime example of taking a mediocre attraction and gnawing away until what remains is abysmal. The demos are awful, the tram part is brief and uninteresting, the flown-in props are uninspiring, and the speil is pre-recorded. There are a few exciting moments during the Catastrophe Canyon portion, but it is surrounded by boredom and insults to one's intelligence, making it not unlike putting in a long night's effort to bed someone dumber than oneself. Sure the middle part is fun, but what will you think of yourself in the morning? There's plenty else to do in this park, and the good part of the tour isn't that good. E

RC Racer, Toy Story Playland, Parc Walt Disney Studios [DLP] Jesus Christ, you go back and forth on a ramp a few times in a slow-loading, car-themed vehicle, on par with rides available at every traveling fun-fair. You can see the whole thing from outside the queue. If you still decide to wait a long time for it in a park with several better things to do, how is it my problem? E

Innoventions, Tomorrowland, Disneyland [DLR] In a storied building prominently overlooking Tomorrowland, Disney decided to grab the money and drop a poorly thought-out consumer trade show on a giant turntable. Difficult to review, because the low-grade product displays seen by your reviewer might be different from the low-grade product displays available during your visit, and it is theoretically possible that the fine people from Bissel will someday put together a vacuum cleaner display of such detail and emotional warmth that it makes one forget The Carousel of Progress or America Sings. More likely, this "attraction" could be simply be a steaming pile taking up valuable real estate in a park that has precious little space to spare. I always feel sorry for the employees who want to work attractions but instead wind up assigned to this building; maybe that fancy Microsoft computerized electrical home control panel they are forced to demo can be upgraded to shut the lights off on this waste of electrons for good. E

  Its more summer then December