I have a question but idk how to word it; please bear with me sdjgfh But like Merrill and being infantilized and patronized? Was this a problem even before coming to Kirkwall? The evolution of her awareness of it? The evolution of her feelings towards it? Has she ever tried to change herself to prevent it? Like, how does it affect her self-perception, and her perception of the people who do it? Does any of this change after DAII? I hope at least some of that makes sense.
this is a very specific question !! so iâm gonna keep it here instead of doing the new post thing! but anywaysâŚÂ it has definitely always been a problem for merrill, even more so in her clan. merrill is someone who often thinks outside the box, and thinks BIG, this â scared the keeper, and she would often talk merrill down from these idea by belittling her. the keeper believed merrill was extremely intelligent, and yet she was threatened by it â and much like with many other aspects of merrill, decided to keep them undeveloped; and, for the longest time went unnoticed.Â
i donât think merrill quite understood what was happening until she was a bit older, iâm thinking more in her teenage years where she starts to grow a bit more defiant and aware of her treatment; and specifically i think sheâd notice it in an argument where merrill knows sheâs right. either because itâs something sheâs seen with her own eyes or just something she knows iâm not sure, but the keeper challenging her and trying to convince her otherwise would be that realization to what sheâs been doing all along. and i would think this would be the birth of merrillâs bitterness towards the keeper. i think, once sheâs out of the clan and in kirkwall, she was hoping to be free from that kind of behavior â especially when among the group hawke has managed to create. merrill was naive enough to think them all like hawke (i always go based on a purple hawke), but she finds quickly that just because hawke had chosen them for a team doesnât mean she is immediately accepted. this is where i think youâd see her standing up to it and for herself more often. when merrill is away from the clan, and more importantly the keeper, she feels a lot better about fighting for herself. especially since these people do not have the same âfear factorâ that the keeper has, at least not to her.Â
as for doing anything to prevent it? i can definitely see merrill attempting to change her look or the way she talks in attempt to make herself seem a bit more⌠mature. but eventually sheâd find it too silly and too difficult to maintain. she rather be herself, and try to hold her head high than be someone sheâs not.Â
self-perception isâŚa hard one to answer. because thereâs times where it doesnât affect merrill at all, but merrill is also extremely sensitive and you tell her something long enough sheâll start to believe it. i donât see her self perception changing too much unless she spends a lot (and i mean a lot) of personal time with someone who treats her that way. so, the da:ii team, for example? doesnât effect her too much as she does have some allies within it (hawke, varric, isabela) â but then it hurts even more when they do it. but she doesnât spend likeâŚevery waking moment with them so its a lot harder to change it. now, if it was a red hawke â and like everyone was telling her these things? yea, sheâd believe it. it really depends on her environment and whoâs around her. i hope that answers that part??
as for her perception of the people who do it â sheâll think them silly and close-minded. unable to accept the different, and stubborn, in a bad way. but sheâll always think you can learn.Â
as for post da-ii!! i think it does change in her adviser / keeper of a clan verse ! merrill really matures once sheâs officially the leader of something, she gains so much confidence, and the trust people put in her really help heal those old wounds. merrill, by then, will always stand up for herself and would be quick to throw her accomplishments at someone when they begin to tell her she canât. merrill grows a lot during that time! of course, she still often gets down on herself â and she takes decisions and losses very seriously â but merrill is a lot more confident than before. plus, being called keeper has earned her a lot of respect from and for people to look at her a lil different. now, they donât see a silly grinning elf with her head in the clouds â they see a wise elf, with storms brewing in her mindâŚ.
















