The rain and smell of petrichor from the sidewalk rose around me as I walked. I wiped my eyes and forced a deep breath, inhaling the beautiful smell. It was the first calming thing to happen to me all day. I felt like it was washing away so much of what had just happened. I knew that wasn't completely true or possible but it felt that way. It was like...like a kiss. The rain was exciting and zinging and hair raising and beautiful and calming all at once. Without warning my revery was dashed. "Stop!" The shout jarred me back into reality and I looked around to find someone a block behind me; my hands came out of my coat pockets when I saw her. Help me. I don't know how but when we made eye contact, I knew. Everything up to then had felt in slow motion. I ran to her and as I got to her she collapsed into me. I looked around and then back down at her as she pulled away a little and I saw her chest was blooming red through her shirt and coat. "Wha- what happened?!" She smiled. "You look so concerned, she reached up and brushed the wet hair out of my face. "Of course I'm concerned! You're bleeding out!" "Am I?" She asked confused and then looked down again. "Oh! Haha. So I am." She smiled, weary and worn out. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but she looked so familiar. It was just a thought in the back of my head, though. I was more concerned with keeping her alive than names. "I need to go now," she said, smile faded and she started to pull away. "No, you can't! You have to stop moving or the bleeding will get worse!" "That's not what I was told," she laughed, "You just gotta walk it off, ya know?" "Yeah, but not this time! This one's bad. You have to take your time before walking this one off!" I said and pulled her back to me. I wrapped her arm over my shoulder and looked around for a bench or a tree somewhere. I found stone steps instead. "Look, let's just sit and I can call for some help," I suggested as I led her over to the stairs. She followed but when I said I'd call for more help she yanked herself away clumsily and shouted "No! Don't do that!" I backed off, nodding, "okay okay I worn call right yet but-" "No! Jut don't!" She shook her head, "I'm fine, see?" She said and soon after she fell into me again and I caught her and helped her sit on the steps. "I gotchu." "I know you do..." She said calmly, sleepily. We sat quietly a few awkward moments before I chimed "what happened?" "Oh, nothing too bad. This is a normal thing. Funny though, I think I've been bleeding for a while now and you're the first to notice." "What?!" I asked surprised. "Yeah. It's a little strange. I thought maybe someone would see ya know? But oh well!" She shrugged and leaned her head on my shoulder. This was all very strange, bizarre, unreal! I sat quietly and thought over ways I could help her without freaking her out. I knew I needed to help her stop the bleeding but how?! "How does something like this happen?" I dared to ask. I felt like I just repeated the same question but she gave me a different answer this time. "Oh. It was my own fault." I was shocked. She was wounded badly in the chest and said she did this to herself? "Wa~?" "Yeah. I was messing around with stuff I shouldn't have been involved with and people who didn't get what was going on and then- BAM!" A burst of energy and arms flailing and then immediate calm again, "it just happened. I got hurt. And so naturally I ran before anyone else really saw." "What?! But why wouldn't you just ask your friends?! Weren't they there?! Didn't they care?!" "Yeah maybe? But none of them are doctors. They couldn't have helped." "But they could've gotten you help faster!" "Oh... Well, it's not like it's a big deal," "You're severely wounded and bleeding from the chest. I'd say that's a big deal." "You're silly... It's-...it's not that bad," "Oh really??" I said sarcastically and tried to touch it. "NO!" "You need help!" "I can do this myself!" "No! No you can't! Let me help you! Let me find someone who can help you! Please!" "I can't let you do that!" "Yes! You can! You can't fix this alone!" She looked at me, trembling with tears welling in her eyes for the first time since I grabbed hold of her. "Why?" I realized then who she reminded me of... I knew her. I knew her very, very well in fact, because...she was me. "Why?" I repeated with a concerned laugh. "Because even if you're strong, you're not strong enough to fix this on your own. Not when you're so close to dying here right now. You need someone who knows more about this! You can't just hope it'll get better. You need to get someone to help you mend it right. Otherwise you'll either die or be in pain for so long that you'll wish you were dead. So just get help now. For your own sake! To make the pain stop!" I reached my hand out and touched the wound. She and I both closed our eyes. I took a deep breath, and when I opened my eyes I saw my hand over my heart, but no wound, no blood, no outward mess. But inside, I felt twisted up and in so much pain. I wiped my eyes and my nose on my coat sleeve before pulling out my phone to text someone about what had just happened. I needed help. And it took an argument with myself to finally realized that.
