#gos2e4

They talk but they don't actually talk

aZIrApHaLE

AZIRAPHALE: Sorry, have we met? FURFUR: Oh, no, you never had the pleasure, but ah… we have, haven't we? CROWLEY: Have we? FURFUR: What do you mean "have we", you know we have! We were in the same legion. … Just before the fall. Doing dubious battle on the plains of Heaven. Remember? CROWLEY: I remember going into battle, I don't remember being there with you. Sorry. FURFUR: I was right next to yeh! We did loads together! You said jump on my back like the monkey in a waistcoat! Anyway, whether you do or whether you don't, it doesn't matter. I'm here to inform you, as a representative of the high powers of Hell, that you, Crowley, are in breach of the infernal code. Consulting and collaborating with an Angel, Fell the Marvelous, aka… Azirapalala. Azirapapap. Aziphapalala. AZIRAPHALE: Aziraphale. CROWLEY: Pure coincidence. I happen to be here, he asked for a volunteer… FURFUR: "The miraculous Bullet Catch requires the use of a trusted stooge and confidant." AZIRAPHALE: Where did you get that booklet? It's only available to working professional magicians, such as myself. FURFUR: [speaking German] ZOMBIE MAN: We… got it from the man in the magic shop just after you left. It was… [laughs] his last wish that we should have it. AZIRAPHALE: But you're dead. FURFUR: Living dead. Now, agents of Hell. ZOMBIE MAN: [screams] FURFUR: Don't bother trying any funny business. I think you'll find that someone who has great authority has put a half hour miracle block on this entire theater. CROWLEY: Who? FURFUR: Me! Who do you think? Come on, come on… Erm… All right, Crowley. Shall we? CROWLEY: Oh, we shan't, this is ridiculous. FURFUR: No, what's ridiculous is demons like you doing what they please and somehow still getting on, while demons like me graft for hundreds and hundreds of millennia and never get a sniff of a promotion! Well not this time. Expect a legion to come for you first thing tomorrow. Enjoy your last night on Earth.