#gormet

The seasons have changed but I could still remember the rush I felt when I pelted my way down my street cracked concerted road. I did not have much control in my life but bike rides were all mine. Tomorrow was finally gonna be the day I been waiting for months for. He was finally coming back to me. As I turn into the parking lot of Easter Hills High it was already a full parking lot. The next song started to play when I saw a familiar face across the parking lot surrounded by a group of posters and zombies. Have you ever thought about your soul - can it be saved? 

Or perhaps you think that when you're dead you just stay in your grave. I was still playing when tossing over my beat-up backpack over a shoulder.

" What you barbie slut" voice that belongs to the center of the crowd's attention.

Janet was a type of girl that was born pretty and perfect. I always wonder how we became friends. She tells me it is because the sun always needs the moon and stars. I tell her I am nothing but a black hole. There was a time was little I thought maybe there was more to that but after a kiss under the stars, I was lost with the dyer fear of losing her. So we just became what we are now the infinite duo. Her red ginger hair dance with the cool Midwestern breeze as her Mona Lisa's lips playfully move with each word drew more and more people closer and closer. 

" Space cadet stuck in orbit again huh" Janet said with her hand on her hip. I smiled with crimson color coming across my cheeks as I close the gap between us too. 

"Sorry. Just nerves. Can we talk before homeroom J" I asked not paying anyone around us any attention. I already knew what the whispers were about the same thing it always is why. She crocks her pear shape face to the side and her hazel eyes stare into my brown ones. That was another thing we just got each other. She was the fun bi sexual goddesses I was just me the girl who happens to have gotten lucky. 

Without a word, she licks her lips then places two fingers in her mouth to make a V and whistle for her things which a freshman was holding her. After a simple wink and kiss on the cheek to that freshman, she walks off with us being hand and hand to our spot. 

I look around before sitting on the swing and watch as she pops a few of her mom Dextromethorphan like it was a mint. With a big smile, she jumps onto the swing and kick back her feet and smiled. I wish I was like her ability to be free able to kick back and not care but I never was given that ability given that chance. Her long hair moves with her back and forth as she sings Katy Perry off-key. 

" Thank I, huh I been thinking. I think I'm ready to you know with KP" I blur out with my hands cling to the chains for my life. My eyes close shut till I was seeing rainbow loading wheels across my eyes sight. SLAP " What the hill billy hell. That hurt" I said opening my eyes wide and rub my thigh. Janet shook her head and look like me I had 101 heads attach to my head.

" Issac. Are you shitting me right now" Janet said now standing in front of me. Her hazel eyes twinkle with the sun. 

I slowly roll my bottom lip thought my teeth a few times before I look up at her like a kid who had her hand in the cookie jar with chocolate all over my face. She got closer and stop me so I have to look at her. I hated how she gets me to talk when I was not ready to. I dazed out to pass her to the tall grass that sways with the wind. Right before that was a raccoon who has been a sacrifice to the roadkill gods. 

" Yes. We have been together for three half years and I'm gonna be 18 in a few months. I don't want to lose him. I mean he already talks about marriage and stuff. How we are meant to be with one another. Him in the war what if he does not make it. Next time. I am just thinking about it. I never do anything. Janet Florence Bates. Either I am too chicken scraps about it or I can die. I am so sick of living out in this world in a bubble" I said finally looking to those Friday afternoon hazel eyes.

She nods and took my hands. Rubbing her white french tip thumb against my skin she brought it up to her heart. " One thing I wish I did was to wait. Remember when we were in seventh grade and I dared to do seven minutes in heaven with Derek Miller. You told me that I was still worth the universe no matter what. Do-" She was cut off with the sound of the second bell. " Shit I need to see Popi before class. Tell them I am using the bathroom and oh it that time of the month" Janet said over her shoulder as she ran over to find her girlfriend. 

" I said that last week J" I shout out.

Walking backward Janet thought about it, " He doesn't know how a woman body works". I laugh as I made my way down the busy streets also know as the hallways.

I just made it with a second to spare. Taking a deep breath in I nod to the teacher went to my seat. Putting my backpack on the desk to make a pillow I lean my head on it and look out the window. The once busy parking lot was empty with no one. Corner of my eyes I saw some movement. For a second look like I saw a squirrel eating the dead raccoon. Its fur was cover in a bit blood on its paws and tail. Getting up from I walk over to the window. Still watching the squirrel. 

" MISS. SMITH. SIT DOWN FOR ANNOUNCEMENTS" the teacher said taking her out her trance. Giggles and fingers were pointing as I look around. mouth sorry and ease back into my seat look down at my hands. Moments later Janet rush in with a huge smile on her face, She stays upfront to flirt with the teacher taking his glasses and rolling it in her mouth as she explains the female privates. Buzz Buzz.

Mi Amor: Hav fun in school. I see you tomorrow bae. IYL

 I look up and suppressed a greedy smile.

 Me: Can not wait. xxx.

I smiled and glance outside. The squirrel was gone but so was most of the raccoon. My curl drop in front of my face. My eyes wide as I look around it was not even ten minutes how did that happen. It is only your mind. After trying to calm my nerves I settle and got ready for the day. The thing about going to school in a dead zone is not much happening each day is the same. The coolest thing we had to happen was when Sally Maxfield got fifth place in the nearby town beauty competition. We were the one place the devil probably send folks as a line of torture. Everyone knew each other and marries one another. Grow old have kids work the same jobs your parents or neighbor had. Just so happen my parents two of the coolest jobs. Mother was assistant to the mayor and my dad work as a scientist that was a station out here. They move here when they got married I still do not get that. Nose deep in my latest novel off my four pages list. I felt a few pokes on my back. 

" Guess what I heard from Paul in six periods of American History. Looks like the old hag bit the dusk and they just found her body this morning. Guess what with just her body and her 20 cats. God Issac if I end up anywhere close to that kill me" Janet said pulling out her lunch, sushi, and flavor water.

" Lunch looks smaller than last week. Another diet J. I do not know why you do that your perfect" I said pulling out my lunch with a sigh. Janet peak over at me and my silver can lunch box cover in bumper stickers. Janet rolls her eyes and sips her cool water. I took out my lunch: a bottle of filter water, steal tight thing of organic crackers, dried up fruits, and a mystery meal ( as my mom called it). She stops mid-chew and looks at me with doubt and wonder. 

" What that" Janet said looking over my lunch. Apart from I wanted to chuckle each day the same thing. Sipping my water I turn to look at her. My legs shielding hers

"It is my lunch crackers fruit. Want some" I said holding out the mystery meal packet 

" Wait for a second that fruit. I do not get you. I come with my lunch and you have that. Still, you cover your eyes during the sex parts" Janet asked. My smile got bigger as I nod. Her face still in disbelief.

" Yes. Because I will like to live till my 18 birthday. J. Do not forget the ice cream birthday cake, spaghetti, banana nut bread, or many other times I chance it" I said turning back to the table Janet always got me to throw reasoning away.

" Just be careful that it looks like it will attack you alright. Space cadet" Janet said poking at my lunch to see if it moved. I wish to chance it was a luxury for me but never is, I will never be normal and for that, I am the envy of everyone. The problem goes down to the simple fact of an allergy I have a very rare very troublesome allergy, Eosinophilic Gastrointestinal Disorder. Long story short think of anything fun and add a 99% chance I can die of it. 

" God damn it. Did you hear me? The last two periods we going on some field trips to the Coast Forrest for science today" Janet said wiping her mouth. Nodding I look at my half-eaten lunch. "Popi gonna meet us there. She got these new drugs called Trippe that her hook up gave her. I talk her into allowing me to try it with her. Maybe get some others to buy some. It is organic you should try some" Janet said checking her makeup in her little compact mirror. I gentle took a deep breath out and move a few curls behind my ear as I tried to remind Janet again I can not do that. Then she must have seen my thoughts as she pointed to me with her lipstick and said, " It is organic. You eat all that weird shit. What to say that and Trippe are not made of the same shit" Janet said putting her stuff away.

I wanted to tell her no but instead, I said I think about it before she went off to get last night's homework from someone. I loved her with all my heart but sometimes she just did not get me. Crazy how you can love someone with all your heart. Not want anything from it just a simple notion that you will never be alone. Someone that will have your back and would never judge you. No one did but KP ever promises you that.

Mi Amor: I wish you are here. I feel so alone.

I waited a few more minutes for him to reply till I decide he probably was on the plane and could not reach me. Rubbing the back of my neck I close my eyes. God did I need sleep and a bubble bath. Noise rattle my nerves and the never-ending sound of people screaming made me flinched. Jumping up I look around before heading out to the bathroom to finish my lunch. Last year its been like this need want to escape want some time alone. Maybe its fact in a few months I will be graduating. I will be free to be me whatever that was. As my phone alarm ring, I slowly got up from my spot on the floor and got ready to head back before Janet realize I was gone. With my head hanging low I walk over to the sink to flush away any doubt of living any sadness I been feeling. water dripping from my face I look back at my reflection. Brown sugar eyes looking back with my hair full-blown curl thanks to the cold water. My button nose raw from the tears I just finished having. Taking another breath in I grab the end of my dress and rub my face.

The ride to Coast Forrest was roughly 15 minutes long. Janet was sitting next to Popi kissing like horny rabbits and I sat beside them by the window. Popi cool. She wears her hair short blonde with pink tips pixie cut with random drunken mistakes to remind her you only live once and a nose ring with a lip tattoo that said suck it. At first, she did like me worried I was trying to take Janet away till I reassure her what I and Janet have will always be a deep unbreakable friendship and I was happy with KP. Once I asked her if she can do a sharpie tattoo out of pure boredom she grew a flower crown on my wist. Which she now does every time she sees me. My arm the blanket canvas for her crazy thoughts. Colors change as I wave my hands up and down as if I was fish in the open water.

Coming out for air Janet smirk at me and whisper into Popi's ear. With a nod, Popi took out her bag and hand Janet something when no one but me was looking. 

" So I heard you might be adventuring out my young grasshopper. Finally going to get some action huh" Popi said sniffing her nose-wiping away the last bit of blow she did before getting on the bus. I peak over to Janet who just whistles and spoke to a random person behind us.

" Maybe. YOYO right" I said licking my bottom lip

" God Smith you something. So fucking cute. little puppet" Popi said pinching my arm. 

" Tell her about Trippe baby" Janet added.

" Thanks, angel. Huh, so what my guy told me this is some top-shelf shit. Like the best of the best only take. I am talking mob cartel you name it and its all made on some hippie compound. I am one of the first to have it" Popi pointed out proud of herself. She took one out and handed it to me.

" How do you take it. I never sniff anything before. Or put anything up my butt" I asked curiously.

Janet giggles at my response and hugs over to speak to me without anyone hearing us." From what Popi heard it pretty much either end type of drug but oral tends to work find. The away only thing we want poking you in the but is Kindred Phillip Richards thick long penis" Janet laugh.

It was small and look like something out a Candy land world. The packing was the neon pick with a smiley face with its tongue out and eyes cross out. As I play with it looking at it closer it had a strange symbol on it. Inside the little baggie was a pill shape drug with what looks to be a liquid power inside. While Popi was trying to talk a boy into a threesome with Janet and herself. I snatch a picture on my Polaroid camera and stuff it in my pocket. I look at it once more. It was inviting but apart of me was not sure. Kind of like it was a candy a treat. Last time I tried something Janet said it was alright. I end up in ICU for two months. Everything around her tone out as she kept playing with this drug in her hands. Very own mystery. What made this so special so welcoming. Bring it closer to my nose I let it linger see if I can figure what it was made off. I had a nose for such things. Lana Del Rey plays on my head as I play with it. It was organic maybe it was safe to do it. 

" We are here. I have to make a phone call. So just take a paper and start feeling it out" Mr. Lopez said. He was probably going to scream at his soon to be ex-wife who ran off with their younger babysitter last week.

Second, he left everything to reassure. Loud noises left and right. Booming. Popi look at me and took the drug out my hand and gave Janet the nod. Show Time. Janet gave both of use a wink before she swings herself up to stand on the seat Dead Poet Society style. Flipping her hair she screams HEY. Everyone's eyes shift to Janet quite waiting on her hand and foot. With a wolf grind, she grabs up the drug and tosses it up and down in the air.

" Alright shit brains and posers. I got here the upcoming stuff that every one that is hot now is doing. Actors athletes business people and even world leaders. This stuff here is told to make oxy look like a sugar-free candy. This stuff is fully organic and to give you a ride of your life. Once you have it once you never find anything to get you this fuck up ever again. Word around this Trippe would put you on a ride you will never forget So who wanna party" Janet said jumping down to the ground with her hands up above her head. I was the first to clap much sooner then I should of. Most look at me and I turn and look outside at Mr. Lopez on the verge of tears. Everyone was shouting not wanting to be left out wanting in on the mystery on the trend. As Popi passed it out Janet took the money stuffing it into her bra. Till everyone had one. All glee with excitement thrilled to do it.

" Hey, you ready" Janet asked. I look at her and went to grab some money taking out a twenty I slowly hand it to her. They all went to take it and as I am about to take it I stop and shoot up. My breathing got short and I clench to the seat trying to catch it. I felt tears as a minor panic attack was coming ahead. My sight got dizzy and I shock my head crying a silent cry. Janet stops before taking it and looks at me holding tight to my chest. 

" I can't I can not take it. I can not take the gamble. J I am so sorry. I wish I could" I said trying to stop the tears. People around me starting to go down on their trip. Some started to laugh like drunken hyenas, a few spaces out like a psychic patient drop on drugs, some were paranoid with a flinch and rest was a mixture of emotions. I slowly got my things together and try to head for the door. An arm stops me and pushes me back down.

" Where are you going. Come on. Amaryllis. It alright. Just do it" Janet said shoving it into my face. I shook my head no and push it away. I look around everything was spinning. 

" I can not do that. You know I can die Janet " I plead to her. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. Walking back to Popi she said something to her as I stood still rubbing my arm looking at the ground. 

"You are full of bullshit. Issac. Why is it one second your talking about fucking your boyfriend and next to your acting like a little kid? Is this thing you have any real or is it all fake just like you"Janet hissed. I knew she was already high from whatever she was doing but the words still hurt. It made everything hurt ten times more.

Without speaking I shook my head and left the bus. I had to get as far as I could before the tears came down. I tried KP once again but no answer. I don't know how far I was got before I finally stop. Green was cover everywhere like a sea of green. I slowly drop to my knees and allow my hands to become one with nature. I lean back and breathe. Rubbing my hands from the tip of my head across my neck down to my sides. My eyes fill with tears glitter flowing around. I calm myself with words of encouragement. I turn my head to see a few deer and bears running away passed me. Stopping I slowly got up to my feet and look around. I did not hear any birds no bugs. I stalked over where they were running from till I saw it. A dead deer laying in a bed of white flowers. That was not what scared me it was rabbits eating away the deer. It fills me with fear and dread. I slowly step back to I am far enough to run. I ran an ran till I hit a branch. As the visions slowly started to fade images of the dead animals came to mind on repeat.  I should have known that was only the beginning

Rain and the distant sounds of voices woke me up. The ground was wet and droplets kept falling into my face. Everything was fuzzy and for a second I forgot where and how I got where I am at. Taking a second in I slowly got to my feet thanks to a tree nearby. The voices got louder and I slow recognized it as Mr. Lopez. How long have I been out? 

Licking my lips I call out where I was. Till I saw a flashlight beaming into my face. Covering my eyes with my hand the footsteps grew closer and closer.

" God. Miss. Smith. Where have you been I been looking everywhere? For you. I am so sorry. I thought you were on the bus then when we got back I did not see you and your mom called the cops. We have been looking for you for a few hours" Mr. Lopez said smoothing the hair out my face. 

Holding onto him tight I cried into the crook of his neck not letting go of his green polo shirt that was too small and a bit skin would peak out. But I did not care I was scared. He slowly helps me stable myself and ushers me to the rest of them. There was a small crowd with flashlights. A woman with fair skin that complements her tall thin body with piercing blue eyes ran towards throw the crowd calling out my name with a man espresso skin and dark short black hair and fitted glasses.

" Amaryllis. My baby" Mom called out as the space between us got smaller. I left Mr. Lopez behind and ran into my mom's arms muffling my cries with her long black hair. I could hear her say thank you to Mr. Lopez but I did not move. I do not remember making it home.

I did not remember anything till I was laying in my twin size bed bundle under my warm blue glitter comforter in one of KP old football jersey. I did not hear from Janet and no one from the class was there looking. I would say I was hurt but the words she said still sting.

" Hey, Amaryllis. Its dad I am coming in" Dad said coming in.

I turn my head to see him walking in with an old antique tray with two small teacups. I slowly got up and look at him with a sad smile. Daddy always knew when it was tea time.

" Thanks, dad. Sorry for carrying you and mommy" I said bring my knees to my chest. He smiled and play with my hair in his hands.

" What happen kiddo. What made you run off like that " He asked. I wish I could tell the truth wish I can give him the full story. But to do that I will put more people in trouble and danger then I will want. So like every time before I lied. 

" The kids said something. I did not agree. I went off to take pictures when I trip and fell. I am so sorry" I said looking into the teacup.

" Promise you will never let anyone including Janet or Kindred to disrespect you. Make you feel little" Dad said drinking the tea. I nod and stay quiet as he started to talk about his newest discovery.

The next couple of days I stayed home after my blood work came back off from stress. I hide away from everyone only speaking to my mom, dad, and text and phone calls from KP. I planned not too obsessed but by day two of my week off, I look and look till my finger got numb of Janet and Popi social media. Folks in Easter Hills, New Mexico wasn’t smart. From what was a bus of 25/30 of my peers slowly becoming the whole school in a matter of days. Everyone praising about Trippe. If it was not about that stupid drug it was dead inside pictures of Janet smiling or as of Thursday at 4:36 pm food. I thought about speaking to her but each time by the second ring I hang up.

Mrs. Ethan was the town vet and all-around queen of gossip. We both have a love to talk about the endless amount of facts and news around the world. She had a job and a life I admire minus the gossip and heavy wine drinking. Today she was allowing me to take the lead of performing an emergency C section on a third-place local star Bichon Frise Mr.Fuzzy Bear.

“ Now Issac remembers gentle across right there till your right here” Mrs. Ethan said standing beside me as I slowly made the incision across the lower abdomen. After each step, I ask a few questions and checking everything I was doing was right. 

Inside Mr. Fuzzy Bear after the chew toy was this strange clear like glitter goo. I reach down and look at his pupils which were highly diluted for the meds with gave him to sleep. Mrs. Ethan was taking care of some paperwork in her office so I grab a few test tubes and draw a bit of blood. Nothing is more important than checking all your boxes. After I scoop out all the strange goo out of him I stitch him up and put him in a cage for later.

“ Yes thank you. Oh yes. I will be coming that way on the fifth of next month. Thank you let me know when you got the payment” Mrs. Ethan said. After the end of the call, she spins in her chair kicking and cheering out loud. 

“ Found some blurry treasure. Mrs. Ethan” I said leaning by the doorway with my legs cross one another.

“ Yes. A seller I know in New York came across a set of six large 1970s green glass Italian Chianti bottles. Only roughly 3,000. He gonna hold it for me for two weeks. Huh heaven, Issac heaven” She said full of glee.

“I thought you just like expensive wine ?” I asked. She once shows me her prize-winning collection of wine in her underground cellar with over 50,000 dollars worth. Even my parents were impressed which is a very hard thing to do.

 “ Yes. But honey a girl can never have too many toys and finer things in life. Like that boy toy of yours. Seeing him soon right” Mrs. Ethan said with a wink. Before I could tell her anything she ways already on the phone to give the good news to her husband. I would have told her after my dad ban any date night I have not seen KP yet well besides the two times he hike up the side of the house to my window to cuddle with me or how I cried into his arms one night about how rude Janet was to me. 

School felt different from the week I missed. Was it the scent in the air the vibe that was off. Something that did not fit right. Mr. Lopez was the 1st to check on me which I could not hear much of because people were talking about Trippe or what was for lunch. Even Mr. Lopez who acts like no one noticed had a neon pink little baggie poking out from his briefcase.

Me: Save me I feel I jump fell right into the Twilight Zone.

Mi Amor: Baby lmao. I am sure its nothing. 

Me: Ur right. Thnx xx I have lunch wish me good luck.

I pulled tight to my backpack and pull right through the double metal doors. I put a lot more effort today in what I look like out of my dresses and overalls with a pair of baby blue flared jeans with a thick black melt and a red long sleeve crop top that wasn’t one from it being two sizes too big. The lines on for food were three times longer than usual. And there wasn’t much talking like there usually is. I just did not feel like the Easter Hills High that I been going to for four years now. What made it more strange seeing Janet hunch over like she was a prisoner. Her hair wasn’t done like it usually is. Flat and lifeless and she has dark bags under her eyes. Worried was not the word for it. There wasn’t one.

  “Hey J. Long time no see huh pickle breathe” I said kicking a pretend rock with my black velvet Superga platform sneakers. Janet did recognize me at first no one did. So I got closer and poke her shoulder a few times. By the fifth poke she grips tight to finger so tight I was starting to feel some pain.

“ God Jesus saint Janet. Stop your hurting me” I shouted. Everyone stops and looks at us. She slowly let go of my finger when she saw the pain in my eyes. She grabs a bottle and ran out. I called and ran after her like the good little kitten I was.

“ JANET WAIT WAIT UP” I shouted running after her.

“ Sorry okay. I did not mean to hurt you. Issac” Janet said looking down at the ground. I shook my head and came up to her and lifted her chin up so she can look at me. At first look, her eyes look like how Mr. Fuzzy Bear’s eyes looked. Glazed over. 

“Hey no. I am worried about you. Is everything okay? Did you and Popi get into a fight?” I tried to say but halfway my voice started to crack. We had this way and something was telling me something was wrong. “ Janet. I am worried about you and what this magnesium. Janet, maybe we should ta-” I was cut off by Janet.