#gore thoughts

Don’t worry, I’ve been in a similar situation except that I used to cut my thighs and get off to that (I still think about it A LOT). FYI I will be completely honest about everything, it may be off putting to others and even to some of my friends who don’t know about any of this, but I will be honest if it means helping someone else.

For starters, it’s good that you the more serious things. Don’t cut yourself, I got an infection when I was cutting my thighs, and it became really serious. Substitute something small, my favorite thing to do is to wear rubber bands and snap them on my arm and legs. There are no wounds and in that quick snap of the rubber band, feels really close to a long cut. 

For the urge to look at blood, there’s the internet. I’ve see a lot of stuff here even on Tumblr that’s just as good as the real stuff. I’ve seen videos of real gore on certain websites, but those aren’t helpful. I can watch any form of gore that includes real people really getting hurt. DON’T WATCH GORE WITH REAL PEOPLE REALLY GETTING HURT. That’s something that always makes me think about doing it to myself. One of my favorite ways to witness gore, are horror films. It’s close to the real stuff without anyone really getting hurt and since it’s Holloywood, it’s exaggerated so there’s more (go for the older movies 90s and below, they have the better gore). There’s art called ‘guro’ that people make and look at, and it’s everywhere. If you want the real stuff but like I said, NO REAL HARM, surgery films. They’re all over the internet as well, especially on medical sites. It’s real gore and in context, it has intention to help someone instead to kill or harm.

Like I said, I used to get off to cutting my thighs, which meant it had a sexual impact to me. Back then and now, I fantasize about being hit. Now, I don’t know what you mean about wanting to be hit, it could be sexual it could not, IDk. I’m going to take it as sexual, since it seams to be the most common reasoning with others like you and me. In BDSM, there’s S&M, sado-masochism. Which is all about sexual attraction to pain. I tried to stop thinking about masochism and sadism but I didn’t help. So I started to think more about D&S, domination and submission. I started to switch my thoughts of getting hurt, to being lower than someone. It’s difficult to understand how it works and if there really is any difference. But it helped for some reason, so I try to think more about D&S than I do about S&M. It didn’t help getting rid of my urges completely, so I changed it to something similar and less harmful.

Now, I don’t know how helpful any of this is to you. People are different and different things help different people. You are trying to stop something, this is the best scenario. You’ve acknowledged that you have an issue, so that means you CAN find a solution. I REALLY hope this helps, like I said, I’m not an expert, but I will do anything to help