#goopstin

two time's opinions on austin are a little more straightforward than his views on them imo. They meet him through ilya at a time where their lonliness is at a peak and sorta just,,, stick around. they have no one else to hang out with (other than ilya), and so despite snide comments from austin, they become really attached. Since they had their fall out with azure and moved down south to ilya's parents house after daisy kicked them out, they dont have kasey or jimmy to rely on anymore for support other than through phone calls. but they also moved before properly healing, and so they never got as close with kasey or jimmy. This left them in a much more vulnerable position. their quite literal only friend is ilya, which makes it so that their very very isolated, and very very desperate for someone. Someone who gives them anything, no matter if what their being given is something they know will hurt them.

ive said this before, but two time's fatal flaws are their desperation and their fear of being alone. and so to have someone in their life that they really feel like they connect with (even if that person isn't kind to them 100% of the time) that connection is a musthave for them to not go on another stabbing spree.

although they're naive and hopeful, two time isn't stupid. they can tell when someone doesn't like them—but because of the Spawn's word (or their idea of what the Spawn's word is) they are never cruel back. they think that if they keep praying, and keep giving in, then things will get better. I can imagine them being terrified that austin will leave them; they're no stranger to codependency after all. However, this is different than their relationship with azure. In that case, it was two people clinging together because of the bad situation/cult they were in. but, being with austin is after azure leaves them—and so they're so, so grateful that someone is showing them affection like that again. but they're also scared to lose it.

they know that their body is fragile, and they can't give to austin the way he gives to them (sexually at least.or at the very least they've convinced themself he's giving—in reality, they don't really want that sort of thing very much in the first place. but they'll take it if it means he'll stay). They know that he hates their beliefs and personality, despite what he tells them. which means that they stick close to him even more in attempt to prove that they're worthy of his love, which just drains the both of them even more. austin getting more frustrated and snippy, and two time getting more paranoid and reclusive.

a lot of this stems from two time's desperation to please people/figures they deem "better". it happened with amarah, who they were religiously groomed by for years. and the spawn, which they still haven't let go of to this day. even azure a little bit. however with azure's more protective and caring nature, he was much more equipped to deal with the burden than austin is. austin simply is unfit to take care of someone as mentally unwell as two time. someone who cries during sex, and has frequent guilty breakdowns about stabbing their ex-partner, or has just barely recovered from their religious psychosis.

although I can honestly see this whole situation causing their psychosis to develop again a little bit. since they feel like they cant talk to ilya about their troubles with austin (as they know how close the two of them are) they rely on the spawn more than ever. and whenever that happens, their health (both physically and mentally) swiftly declines. which makes them more insufferable to Austin, which is the exact opposite of what two time wants, and so the cycle just repeats and gets worse.

all two time wants is to love and be loved, and to forget about the wickedness inside them that they're scared will come back. theyre just so freaking guilty that they're not good enough, and they know deep inside that austin will never care about them the way that they care about him. but the idea of being alone is much worse than being in a shitty relationship, and so they stay. they grin, take the pain and stress and try to bear it. Although they try and act like their normal self, their nerves and neurtoticm are pushed to the extreme. it would take a keen eye, but there are definitely signs of their suffering. they're much thinner than before, their face is more sunken, and their hair is much more greasy and going white even quicker than before because of how high the stress levels on their mind and body are.

but they wont accept that anything is wrong. they wont accept that austin is bad for them, because in their mind—and they've had this ingrained in them since they were a kid—whatever happens is their fault. they just have to trust that the spawn will make it all okay.