Google just staring at my search history like a parent who just walked in on their child watching porn

I'm writing this on my phone so I apologize for any formatting issues

(I also wrote "gluff" while writing the tags 💀)

--

- you're just like typin away

- and google of course is curious

- (he hangs around under the guise of "studying the human race to better understand and destroy them")

- but oh my god

- your google doc is full of red underlines and he's just like

- babe

- what the fuck

- he has to just watch in abject horror

- you delete an entire sentence to correct a pronoun

- AND THEN YOU RETYPE THE SENTENCE

- he is BAFFLED

- you misspelled "a"

- HOW DO YOU MISSPELL "A"???

- at some point (after you try very enthusiastically to spell "Renaissance"), he just has to take over

- he pushes you chair away or steals your laptop, even your phone if he has to

- it doesn't matter what you're working on he just HAS to fix this

- then he meticulously goes through and corrects every single word, tense and pronoun until he is satisfied

- if you write in all lowercase when writing like a story or an essay or whatever, he will die inside

- when he hands it back, he almost warns you to be more aware of your spelling errors, but you look so baffled and grateful for what he's just done that he just grunts and walks away

- he's also definitely the kind of person to stare over your shoulder and correct you as you write

- god forbid you ever text him

- "You used the incorrect 'your' in your sentence. It should have been 'You're coming over later, right?'"

".... YOU'RE uninvited"

GOOGLEPLIER (x4) HUG/CUDDLE HC’S!

They’re desperately touch-starved, the lot of them 

word count: 950

Loves hugs the most: Oliver

He loves hugs so much

It makes him feel all warm and fuzzy

He prefers hugs to cuddles because he doesn’t have to stay in one place

He does like a good cuddle if it’s for a movie or w/e

He’s just not too patient

Hugs though? Godly

The warm, gentle touch of another being

Does the grabby hands, as one does when they want cuddles

Squeezing so tight it feels like he’ll never let go

Sways from side to side a little and will continue to hug you while you try to leave, please don’t leave.

He hugs Lee a lot when he’s allowed to.

Lee likes hugs as well, and they just kinda stand there until Google has to pry them apart

Also tries to hug Google and is promptly and forcibly shut down

Will just like. Talk while hugging.

You thought this was gonna be quiet bonding time? hell no

Not even like “sweet nothings” or some shit, no

Hour long rants. Sit tight.

“see honey bees are social bugs so that means they have a hierarchy similar to ants and termites now at the top of the hierarchy is obviously the queen, and the q-”

He just likes being as close as possible to anyone else at any given moment

Loves cuddles the most: Lee

Lee? Loving cuddles? You’re kidding.

Nope. Fucking loves cuddling

Spoiler alert: he likes being the little spoon. It makes him feel safe.

He curls up into a fetal position and just holds onto your arm

If you’re facing each other, he will stare into your eyes for literal hours

Tell him beforehand if you don’t like that.

He likes memorizing every feature of the other person’s face

Does get a bit gothy and ominous after a while

“Your eyes are a void that I cannot look away from. I am trapped, hypnotized, until you release me from my confines. I would die here if I could” “what the fuck does that mean” “your eyes are pwetty”

Is still a little shit, however, and will make fun of you if you ask to cuddle

Threaten to withhold cuddles and he might cry don’t do it

Has cuddled Oliver once or twice

His brother simply cannot, however, so he has settled for cuddling a pillow

He has cuddled Elliott once AND ONLY ONCE and has sworn never to speak of it again. he immediately told Oliver.

Will talk about little things he noticed throughout the day

His voice is very soft and calming

Will absolutely fall asleep if you let him

Also likes cuddling when he’s playing a game. It’s grounding

He just likes the closeness and prolonged intimacy of cuddling

Hates hugs the most: Google

He feels trapped and confined

And he’s been in a BOX before, don’t get him started

Claustrophobia? Him? Never. *sarcasm*

But he really doesn’t enjoy a lot of physical touch

It’s weird and warm and it feels like he’s on fire get aWAY-

He will award. One(1) handhold. Per week.

If you ever do get him to give you a hug, appreciate that shit.

It Will Not happen again any time soon

He’s shaking and overheating and shit I think his graphics card caught fire

Never speak of this to anybody

But also he might ask to do it again

He actually really likes handholding although it makes him feel wEiRd 

Has held hands with Oliver while they charged because he wanted to

Elliott and Lee made fun of him so he doesn’t do it anymore

(still does it if Oliver asks)

His highest form of affection is probably just talking? 

He doesn’t do it a lot since he is a firm believer that he is going to answer questions and destroy mankind and that is IT

but if he starts talking about a weird bug he saw?

broski u hit the JACKPOT my mans is in love with you

well not,,,, IN LOVE necessarily. not even necessarily love

he. greatly appreciates. your presence. that’s all you get

Hates cuddles the most: Elliott

here’s the thing though dhgfyueg

he SAYS he hates cuddles?

but he’s just an emo and refuses to acknowledge his feelings

a thing? that isn’t games? brings him joy? fucking gross get it away.

has once or twice cried into a pillow

by which I mean once a week hwsgfre

it’s just Too Much, honestly

it’s just physical touch fucking EVERYWHERE it’s UNCOMFY

It makes him feel bad and tingly and he doesn’t like it

he sees two characters hold hands in a game and starts blushing

scANDELOUs oh my goodness oh no oh gosh

what’s his poison in terms of affection? kith

or like anything having to do with his hair/face

give him a good kiss on the forehead and he will collapse

Lee once kissed him on top of his head as a joke and he started sobbing

“nOthing i’m fIne”

he also likes being petted. a LOT

He once let Lee brush his hair. He started crying, yes. But Lee just kept going and pet his hair a little bit afterward to make him feel better

This is the same Lee that once called him a stupid little bitch boy when he died one too many times in Fallout 3

He likes his face being touched? For some reason?

Like just in little ways. a boop on the nose, a faux-slap on the cheek, etc.

He feels kinda stupid for it

If someone were to, say, hold his face in their hands he might propose on the goddamn SPOT

Let him lay in your lap and play with his hAIR, GODDAMMIT