Google just staring at my search history like a parent who just walked in on their child watching porn

I'm writing this on my phone so I apologize for any formatting issues

(I also wrote "gluff" while writing the tags 💀)

--

- you're just like typin away

- and google of course is curious

- (he hangs around under the guise of "studying the human race to better understand and destroy them")

- but oh my god

- your google doc is full of red underlines and he's just like

- babe

- what the fuck

- he has to just watch in abject horror

- you delete an entire sentence to correct a pronoun

- AND THEN YOU RETYPE THE SENTENCE

- he is BAFFLED

- you misspelled "a"

- HOW DO YOU MISSPELL "A"???

- at some point (after you try very enthusiastically to spell "Renaissance"), he just has to take over

- he pushes you chair away or steals your laptop, even your phone if he has to

- it doesn't matter what you're working on he just HAS to fix this

- then he meticulously goes through and corrects every single word, tense and pronoun until he is satisfied

- if you write in all lowercase when writing like a story or an essay or whatever, he will die inside

- when he hands it back, he almost warns you to be more aware of your spelling errors, but you look so baffled and grateful for what he's just done that he just grunts and walks away

- he's also definitely the kind of person to stare over your shoulder and correct you as you write

- god forbid you ever text him

- "You used the incorrect 'your' in your sentence. It should have been 'You're coming over later, right?'"

".... YOU'RE uninvited"

a/n: fluffy blurb for my babe

warnings: none?

summary: Google’s got a glitch.

“Okay Google.”

“Hello.”

I twisted the wires together, yet the AI didn’t twitch as I hoped he would.

“Diagnostic on your arm, please.”

The machine that sat in front of me grunted quietly, annoyed that I insisted to fix his glitch.

“The correct wires were connected, but I need a controlled shock to correct the problem.”

I hummed. “Maybe I should charge you and do this.”

“The percent of success would increase by six percent.”

“Well what was it before-hand?”

“25%.”

I rolled my eyes at the sarcastic robot before moving to grab his charger cord. I gripped it tightly before I returned to gaze at my AI’s brown mop of curls. I smirked before I grabbed his hand and pressed a button, which unlocked the charger port on his wrist. A small opening lowered into his robotic human-like skin, and I immediately plugged him in. I looked back at the wires in his arm, and untwisted the wires I had earlier. I then grabbed the third wire and twisted it to the others, an odd query but it was worth a shot.

“Try it again.”

The arm began to move like normal when he moved his arm upwards, and I smiled.

“I told you, Google!” I chirped, he grumbled. “I told you I could fix it.”

“I heard you when you first said that.” He muttered, before you leaned forwards and kissed his lips.

Yellow Google: Let me sing a song about my life!

Yellow Google: *deep inhale*

OFF THE TOP OF ME HEAD

__________

“What’s the longest boy in the world?”

“Don’t you mean tallest?”

Bing looked up from his phone and squinted his eyes at Google, who sat in a chair while he typed away on his laptop. “No, longest.”

“Tallest boy in the world is-“

“Longest!”

Google looked up from his laptop with a scowl.

Bing smiled as he turned his phone towards Google, which displayed a picture of a Dachshund.

“Longest boy.”