#gooddday

Every time I wake, the morning takes another piece of my strength away. Perhaps that’s why mornings are so tough for me. There is no sunshine and so, it’s still like night.

I woke up late this morning, to be honest, I wasn’t sure I was going to wake up at all today. It’s just that as I rolled over onto my back and readjusted my neck, my brain registered that actual sunshine was soaking into my eyelids. You may wonder, “doesn’t actual sunshine hit her eyelids everyday?”

NO. A big emphatic no, in fact. Light hits my eyelids and there is a big difference between light and sunshine. Even dark and dreary overcast days have light. Regardless, I rolled over, sunshine registered and so, I opened my eyes to see what all of the excitement was about. And there in my window, framed by a teal curtain on one side and a cream wall on the other, puffy white clouds sped over a patch of blue sky surrounded by bright sunshine. Of course, it was really only a very small patch of blue sky, but the sunshine was there. It has been there all day. I think this must be where the saying ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ originated - those days when the sky is patchy blue with fasting moving clouds layered across it, but the sun is asserting itself, shining around every cloud’s edge.

Such days are the good days - when the sun isn’t hiding or timid. Sun inspires me. I want to be a good wife and clean the house. I want to have music blasting, even vibrating through into the neighbours' rooms. I want to go out in the cold and lie on my balcony soaking up sun rays.

Suddenly, the music that was becoming droll and meaningless, has meaning, again. And you know how much music means to me - it is usually the difference between a good mood and bad. But when I am without sun for too long, even music can do nothing and begins to feel like I'm holding something valuable in my hand and watching it crumble away into dust. When music means nothing, I know that I’ve reached a very, very low place. This morning, I felt so peaceful, content and still as I padded barefoot around the apartment. I even remembered to water our plants and felt happy as I did it. When I accidentally put too much water in one plant and flooded the shelf, I wasn’t even irritated at myself.

When the sun comes out, it’s like all the good parts of being in love all over again. My insides are exploding with joy, eagerness, anticipation and good intentions that will actually become actions. As opposed to good intentions that remain good intentions and become regretful should have's.