he doesn't even hear her enter the room β he's so focused on the plans at his desk that he doesn't think he'd hear corypheus approaching. which was very bad. he'd thrown his kit away days ago, and with it, his last tie to his life before. his body ached, his mind even more so. cullen used to hear stories of templars who went mad after getting off lyrium β he wasn't so sure that he wouldn't be joining their ranks soon enough. his mind, at best, was full of the terrors he saw in the ferelden circle and in kirkwall. at worst... it terrified him to even think about it. his nightmares weren't getting any easier, and the more he surrounded himself with the talks of red lyrium, it nearly drove him mad.
when he finally looks up and sees vestele, he jumps. β maker, when did you get here? β he lets out a sigh after, covering his face with his hands and dragging them down his cheeks as she moves to his side. β forgive me. i've been... distracted. i need to get my focus back. β he'd talked about this with the inquisitor and cassandra the day he threw his kit away. i will not give less to the inquisition than i did to the chantry. i should be taking it. thankfully, they talked him down. he didn't want to show this part of himself to vestele, but it was becoming harder and harder to hide it. β maybe i just need a break. is that why you came? β cullen asks, feeling the tightness in his shoulders loosen as he realizes her hand moves up and down his arm. β whatever the reason, thank you. your presence alone does more to help me than i think you realize. β
@cirkled sent: [ smooth ] sender strokes up and down across the receiver's arm









