#good host

Year 1 of our local LARP has completed, so here's the compilation from everyone from my faction, the Good Host (and all the very silly things we got up to).

Patreons will get all the layer info for free, so why not become one? patreon.com/joephilliactheblack

Decided to finally get off my ass and write up some little captions! Probably not too exciting but hopefully you guys find them just as hot🥵

Chances are some of you are going to be visiting friends and family this year and while you love them a great deal, there is at least someone there who will get on your nerves and their opinions (political, religious, etc) will test your patience. Then there are other social landmines to consider depending on your situation. In the spirit of the season, I compiled a few general tips I myself practice whenever I have to go to these family gatherings and want to avoid possible contentions.

Being A Good Guest/Host Means Be Accommodating: You don’t necessarily have to agree with everything your guest or the host says and does but everyone should respect the basic rules of the house and common decency. So, if it’s normal to remove your shoes before going past the front door or if someone you know is coming has a food allergy or dietary restriction then be aware and show your respect to your guests and to the host so you can accommodate their needs. If at the dinner table they tell you their tradition is to say Grace and you aren’t comfortable with that, ask the host if you are permitted to just remain silent or be excused from the table. If your guest has their own traditions and they ask to share it with you, be at least considerate enough to listen and if you allow it in your house consider joining in. By being patient and understanding of one another, it can go a long way in making sure everyone feels welcomed, despite minor differences in lifestyles.

Ask Questions Before Reacting: Someone may talk about current events in the news or about politics, or their religious beliefs and they may have very strong opinions at that. Often times when this happens, many people feel almost compelled to respond if they feel they heard something wrong and adverse to their positions. This wanting to react will not help you socially in a time where we are all trying to break bread and enjoy a peaceful meal with one another. Instead, if you feel compelled to respond to them try instead to ask them questions about why they feel this way. Give them a chance to share themselves and maybe even go as far to offer to share your own views too. You don’t have to necessarily agree or convince each other that one person was wrong in their views, but this sharing of opinions can possibly strengthen your bonds with one another. If what they are saying though is absolutely abhorrent to you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with making an exit from the room to put a temporary physical distance from your source of aggravation or choosing to confront them about it. If you choose to confront them, please be mindful of what you say and possible consequences for you and the other guests. Ultimately, it's on you to decide if you want to take this route.

Provide Escape Routes: This bit of advice is especially aimed at hosts: “Family time” is not for everyone. Some people have a tough time when dealing with large crowds, or you might have a small gathering and being constantly in the same space with the same people for hours can be exhausting. Therefore, make sure there are ways for the shyer or more intimidated to get away. If its noisy in the living room as people are watching “the game”, offer to set up a card game or a movie in a different room. If you’re the host, ask for volunteers in the kitchen so they can socialize while feeling useful. And if a guest really needs to get away, don’t guilt them into staying but offer them a quiet space and let them know they are welcomed to stay or leave as they need too.

If You Stay The Night...: This goes to the guests especially, if you are offered to spend the night at their place rather taking a car ride home or to a hotel then show a little gratitude and keep your things nice and neat. Same goes after you use their bathroom, kitchen, guest bedroom, etc while you are there. Essentially, treat their space like you would want someone else to treat your own. And if you’re there too with your significant other, being intimate with them may or may not be allowed, just use your best judgment (that goes to both of you).

A lot of this may have sounded like common sense but there are times common sense just doesn’t quite stick when faced with the stress of the holidays and trying so hard to measure yourselves up to some picturesque Norman Rockwell painting. Doing so will just drive you crazy and you already have enough stuff going on that you don’t need the added stress. Instead, follow some of my advice above and whenever you feel that stress is budding up, take a step back, breath, and remind yourself why you're involved. To have good tidings with friends and family. After all, that is what this and other holidays are all about.