#gonad lump

In New York, he'd be retried over and over until a unanimous verdict is reached, guilty or not guilty, however long that takes, and every state level Republican candidate from now on will campaign on promises to drop the charges or pardon him or help him in some way, shape, or form.

In Georgia (he hasn't been indicted yet, but it's coming), he's going to be pardoned almost immediately. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he gets pardoned before it even goes to trial. Yeah, the governor refused to find 11,000 votes for him, but he's still a Republican and trump is still the leader of his party. If he didn't pardon trump, he would be crucified by his voters and shamed out of office, and his successor would pardon him instead. If he stood his ground and couldn't be bullied into resigning, then just as in New York every Republican candidate would run on the pardon promise platform. Trump will NEVER face justice in Georgia.

In the federal case in Florida, a mistrial means the judge, a trump appointee, could drop the charges and prevent the DOJ from retrying it. Best case scenario, it would get delayed into 2025 or 2026 and a different judge in the southern district of Florida will be randomly assigned to it, but that's assuming Biden wins re-election in 2024. If trump wins, he'd immediately pardon himself, or invoke the 25th to have his loyalist VP pardon him to avoid a Supreme Court decision on a self-pardon's validity. If Biden wins, the 2028 Republican candidates will all run on promises to pardon him, so he'll be out of prison the second the White House goes red. I don't trust Democrats to hold the line long enough for him to die in prison.

The federal case in Washington, DC looks open and shut, the best chance for a conviction. Trump only has four appointees in that district, so the odds of him getting off on a retrial in case of a hung jury are 4 in 13, 30.77% (4/15, 26.67% if Biden can fill the two remaining vacancies). Again, all this does is kick the can down the road until 2025 or 2026. He will walk free whenever the Republicans take back power.

Hey, and get this; they say I'm a flight risk! That sounds like something you'd see on a trophy, doesn't it? Coach Z, 1st Place Flight Risk! Two hundred thousand dollar bail!

I've been thinking about it a lot this last week. I can just imagine a certain spray-tanned idiot bragging about being a flight risk and trying to wear it as a badge of honor even before they approach him with handcuffs.

Do we think an indictment will come before or after the midterms? Standard procedure would be to announce it as an October Surprise, but Merrick Garland doesn't seem like the kind of person who wants to maximize dramatic potential; he's too "professional," whether you want to read that as "unwilling to cause a stir" or "unconcerned about timing because he knows the outcome will be the same."

But she made a good point that had me reconsider some things. The Lump recently sold his Washington DC hotel, the Old Post Office and Clock Tower, which he used to embezzle millions of dollars from foreign ambassadors. He gave special preference to emissaries, politicians and world leaders who stayed there and padded his wallet; quid pro quo, pay-to-win, bribery so blatant that I was SHOCKED to hear he was willing to give it up. If he became president again, he wouldn't be able to profit off visiting dignitaries, which would defeat the whole purpose of his presidency; that's kind of his entire schtick. If he can't make money doing something, he straight up doesn't want to do it. That's the only motivation he's ever had in his life, and the fact that he gave up his money laundering front is a sign that he may just be going through the motions in 2024 before he cuts and runs.

The Supreme Court just made bribery legal in their Ted Cruz case. Politicians are allowed now to pay off their private debts with secret campaign donations, and the Lump has a lot of legal fees to pay, so he may just be using his 2024 campaign as a slush fund. He'll nickel and dime his maga sheeple for all they're worth; they don't want to pay taxes but will gladly give him a big chunk of their paychecks because they worship at his feet. It's like church offerings to them. He's a cult leader fleecing his followers, stringing them along, "just a little more money, and I can make American great again again! Just a few more bucks and we can drain the swamp! If you increase your recurring donation, I'll send you a form letter with a copy of my signature on it!" It's sad.

We'll know for sure whether he's running or not based on what the megadonors do. They can see through him, he's their little pawn, so they're not gonna give him hundreds of millions of dollars if they know he's gonna fart it away on legal fees with no real desire to take back the White House. He's an investment to them, they only like him so long as he gives them what they want, and if he's planning on bowing out of the race then they're not gonna waste their bribes - excuse me, I mean "donations" - on a scammer when there are plenty of Lump knockoffs waiting in the wings. If they can't have the shark, they'll go for the suckerfish clinging to his belly; DeSantis, Cruz, Gaetz, Boebert, any of the other ambitious sycophants, you name em. They have nothing original to say, they're all just competing with each other to see who can acy the most like the Lump. They're cover artists. They're Elvis impersonators. They would put on orange face paint, bad wigs and fat suits if they thought it would further their careers. It's a race to the bottom, they want to see who can be the most offensive and cruel as possible. If the Lump doesn't run, they'll all be vying for his endorsement, so keep an eye on their behavior. Like the megadonors, if they think he's not running they'll ramp up their own activity (they would never run against him, so if they run at all it means he's out). They'll keep it on the downlow until he formally declines to run, but there will be chatter behind the scenes; they'll show their hands sometime next year.

My mom thinks he's gonna make it look like he's running all the way until January or February 2024, snd then find some excuse to drop out before the primaries; maybe some health scandal or a death in the family (he can make it happen; sorry Tiffany, but you're expendable). I figure that if he's going through all the trouble to keep up appearances for his donors then he's probably gonna see it through to November. In 2016 he didn't expect to win but he followed through on the grift anyway; maybe it was an act, maybe his heart wasn't in it, but that didn't mean he didn't want it. If he pretends to run, he could very easily convince himself to actually run. It's all keyfabe, so why would he break character midway through?

The January 6 Committee has maybe three or four real months left in it before it effectively goes on hiatus while its members fight like hell to keep their seats in the midterms. If they're going to act, they're going to do it soon, I'm talking January or February, around the State of the Union address. What I want to know is this: do you guys think they're gonna recommend the Justice Department indict Donald Trump? His underlings definitely, but he himself? Do you think they're gonna target him directly directly? Do you think they're going to definitively link him to the January 6 attack, or do you think they're gonna waffle it like Mueller and say "there's evidence of a potential crime, but we're not going to draw any conclusions, so you can believe whatever you want?" Is he going down for this?

I want this to happen, but do I actually BELIEVE it'll happen? That, I'm on the fence about.

The reason I think the justice department will never go after the gonad lump is because he didn't send them after Obama or Clinton when he had the chance to. If that sorry excuse for a human being was unwilling or unable to sic his goons against his enemies, then what makes you think Biden is going to sic them against any of his?

Republicans hate Democrats more than anything else, and even they knew that all of the gonad lump's claims of wiretapping and email impropriety were bullshit. "Lock her up" was basically his campaign slogan, but he didn't lift a finger against her once he had the power to do so; you'd think he would have used the opportunity to throw around the full weight of the justice department to make his enemies squirm, but he didn't, and Biden isn't nearly as petulant and vindictive and corrupt as he is, so I know for a fact he's never going to do anything to punish the lump. He doesn't want to "stoop down to his level."

Republicans don't care about Democrats or their feelings and so could have gone after their political opponents with impunity, while Democrats are deathly afraid of alienating Republicans and will almost certainly let the lump off scot free because they don't want to be blamed for sowing deeper divisions by investigating him or charging him with anything. The lump has no inhibitions, no morals, no filters, there's very little holding him back from doing whatever he wants, but somehow even his most unhinged impulses were curtailed because his brown-nosing lackeys knew he was clutching at straws; even he knew there was no meat on those bones, that all his calls to go after his opponents were nothing but hot air. The Republicans never impeached Obama when they had the chance and nothing ever came out of Benghazi; it was all just brinkmanship, they were trying to look tough by threatening to do something they didn't have the balls to actually do.

The difference is that where the lump was making shit up about his enemies, Biden has a real case against his; the lump is an unabashed criminal, and there's enough evidence to put him away forever if Biden would just wield some of the near absolute power the lump ensured his own presidency got to have, but Biden is still afraid of the potential fallout should he follow through with it. Biden has real evidence of malfeasance on the lump's part and the concrete legal authority to do something about it, but he's just not!

The lump is a blowhard, but Biden doesn't want to rock the boat or step on any toes (even the toes that deserve to be stepped on). Nothing is going to come out of this because Biden wants to "heal the nation" and "bring people together," while the Republicans are already plotting his downfall. They'll spit in his eye, and he'll thank them for it before turning the other cheek and asking for more. Biden thinks it would be improper to go after the lump, that doing so would make him look bad, "we're a democracy, the people have spoken, there's no need to open old wounds for political points."

Like, holy shit, he can’t possibly be that stupid, can he? Does he legitimately believe it? Oh, all this time I thought it was an act! Republicans are going to acquit him either way, but if he lies under oath then he’s on the hook for perjury, a federal crime! He’s a private citizen now, he has no criminal immunity, the justice department and the judicial branch won’t protect him anymore. This is the bed he’s made, and he’s finally gonna have to sleep in it. On top of all this, the Southern District of New York has been building a case against him for years, and he was counting on winning re-election to run out the clock; the statute of limitations for his crimes on the campaign trail run out this year or next, but if he were still in office then he couldn’t be charged. Now that he’s out, he’s culpable. A bunch of his co-conspirators went to jail for those campaign crimes, and he pardoned a bunch of them, so they’ve waived their 5th amendment rights and can be compelled to testify; they either rat him out or commit perjury and go right back to jail. The justice system has him dead to fuckin rights! He’s in a shit snare, and the only way out is through. He might be able to dodge some charges, but not all of them, he’s not nearly competent enough.

2021 is gonna be a beautiful shit show, and perhaps the most satisfying part of all of this is that Merrick Garland will have jurisdiction over him and his entire crime family. Garland, who would be a Supreme Court justice were it not for Bitch McMoscow and the Gonad Lump; this is poetic justice. This is the sort of shit they’ll make an academy award nominated biopic about in ten or twenty years. The noose is tightening, and methinks a certain ex-president may be taking an extended vacation to one of his properties in Russia this summer. Will daddy Putin protect him, or will he extradite his ass because he already fulfilled his purpose of destabilizing the United States?