#going bald

Do you think balding, or the prospect of balding, is harder for you than for the average cis man?

Options:

Yes, because I haven't had as long to come to terms with it

Yes, because I'm still influenced by female beauty standards

Yes, because beauty standards for trans men and transmascs are different from the standards for cis men

Yes, because beauty standards for non-binary transmascs are different from the standards for men (I am non-binary)

Yes, multiple of the above

Yes, for another reason or other reasons

No, it's the same

Balding/the prospect of balding is easier for me than for the average cis man because it's so gender-affirming

Balding/the prospect of balding is easier for me than for the average cis man for another reason

Nuance/other/results

November 2019 at our AirBnB in Seoul

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November 7, 2020

Almost exactly one year ago today, three friends and I were spending a holiday in Seoul, South Korea, wandering the city streets, singing karaoke, and eating copious amounts of fried street food. I packed three different wigs with me on that trip, so I could wash and dry them after each use. They definitely kept my bald head warm, and I felt incognito. 

November 7, 2020, a full year later of growing my hair out. No trims or cuts yet. Some product and hair straightener to emphasize the natural layers tho! _____

While I am currently not doing anything quite as international this time around, I am finally starting to feel more emotionally comfortable about a future haircut. Perhaps I'll pay a visit to the salon of the man who helped me get a wig last year, courtesy of the American Cancer Society. 

Although I have continued working out most days of the week, I have noticed the ab muscles on my right side occasionally cramp up, which I suspect is more a lingering side effect of the second biopsy, rather than the chemotherapy. Who would have known! 

In lighter news, it has been more than a year since my last chemo treatment, so I am eligible to donate blood again! Add in today's official political announcement, and I am feeling extra good and optimistic about the future. ^.^ 

Please get your flu shot, wash your hands, and be kind to strangers. Most struggles are not apparent at the surface. Love others, especially yourself.

Yeah, I'm still hyper-femme and all, but I'm just profoundly sick of the current quality (or lack there of) of my hair. It looks like crap, is very very thinned out all over and so brittle it breaks in my hands. I wonder if it's possible the it's the testosterone I took that caused this, or something else. It breaks off all the time and that has left me with a rather unsightly, unintentional... mullet. I'm embarrassed by how bad it looks and for the past few weeks have not even wanted to show it in public. Been relying on wigs and hats.

That has got to change! I think it's beyond saving, but I'll be consulting a hair dresser first, and well, book an appointment for getting it buzzed. I am looking forward to it though. I think it will be awesome, even though it's a little scary too. I'll face those fears of mine too. This isn't a total change of my style, but it is a drastic haircut. I'll still have my fem goth style otherwise. And oh, fucking finally my ear ring will show! I’m kinda seeing it as a fresh start in my detransition. I don’t need long hair to be a woman, but hopefully that’s a redundant statement.