WAIFU. WAIFU DO THE DOMESTIC THING. DO I EVEN HAVE TO SPECIFY BECAUSE I DON'T THINK I DO DO I?
BUCKLE UP BITCHES IT IS HEADCANON TIME
who cooks normally?: in all honesty it's probably like the Thai place down the street (yay for two dorks eating cold delivery food in their underwear at like 2 am), but adopting a child must've made them get a little more conscious of the food they put into themselves
that probably doesn't involve learning how to cook tho, just.... ordering delivery from fancier places
or getting like tomatoes on the pizza instead of an extra layer of cheese
and immediately regretting it afterwards really what do you expect from two cops who never really grew up huh
how often do they fight?: that's.... hard to imagine, actually. I think having spent the majority of their lives as close friends, they would learn how to work around each other and their differences really easily and work things out without raising their voices or arguing too much.
That, and Niko is an utter doormat so even if they DO disagree, it would probs go Herb's way in the end.
what do they do when they’re away from each other?: .... be bored, maybe? That's probably the worst part of being hella married to your best friend, you just don't really HAVE another best friend to hang out with when they're away. .w.
nicknames for each other?: pppppfffff munchkin and beanstalk maybe don't look at me
who is more likely to pay for dinner?: honestly they strike me as the couple that meticulously calculates who pays what (yanno, as broke college kids), but after getting married and getting a joint bank account, I don't think that'd matter .w. But Herb is def more assertive, and Niko would be the type to tip just WAY too much...
who steals the covers at night?: a bigger body needs more covers to achieve an optimal temperature, but cuddles definitely reduce the surface area so... compromises? .w.
what would they get each other for gifts?: besides ugly sweaters and dumb trinkets and just wonderfully gay, sentimental little thingies, I don't think they'd be big on buying things that aren't utilities or consumables... more about little weekend trips and stuff, maybe? Just like a road trip a few states down to chill for a few days and hump
who remembers things?: probably a calendar, idk really. I have had this thought that Niko is one of the very few people who actually keep a handwritten calendar-thingie and meticulously note stuff he has to remember with little hearts at his hubby's name help I'm drowning in feels
who cusses more?: I honestly don't know how much Herb cusses, but Niko having been raised around small kids, I'm sure the majority of his "swearing" is just... the first letter, with a lot of air and a forceful hand movement. Like a "FFFFffffffffff". Or a "HHHHHHhhhhhhhhh".
On the other hand, his hubby probably doesn't have much against dropping an occassional f-bomb.
what would they do if the other one was hurt?: .... I'M SKIPPING THIS BECAUSE OF WAR FLASHBACKS *ugly sobbing*
who kissed who first?: .... ummmmmm
who made the first move?: umMMMMMMM??!?!?!?!?!
who started the relationship?: UUUUUUUUMMMMM??!?!?!?!?!?! ..... I don't believe there was ever a moment when they were like "hey, we're boyfriends now", they just sorta continued being the dumb friends who happen to be boys they started off as, just with gradually more penis involved