#godfader

via: http://web.archive.org/web/20020603131414/http://thegodfader.com/derelict/main.htm

05/11/02 ~ by Dean Satan ~

You know if there’s one thing that’ll wake you up real quick it’s taking an early morning "spill", heading to the store on the old skateboard. High speed, I make a b-line directly for a fresh patch of asphalt knowing it’s smooth. Bad part is, it’s not packed or tampened hard, not at all a solid surface, not at all. Like mud in sand, the skateboard sticks like glue. Me meanwhile, go flying superman-style like I’m sliding into home. I continue down the street rolling a bit, maybe two or three times. It’s cool. It’s far better to "roll it out" than land hard once.

"Are you okay?" says a lady across the street. She’s talking to a guy by a Public Works truck.

"Son of a bitch… you fuckin’ piece uh shit!…. Arrrgh", I say. "I’m cool, there’s a fresh patch of road for me." The kids in front of the store are howling laughing. I lay in the street for a few extra seconds for dramatic effect. I get up and scan for leakage and degree of bodily damage. It don’t hurt.

So, I’m bleeding from my elbow, knee, and wrist. My neck is starting to hurt. I pick up my skate and fling it earthbound, back into the square of oily gravel.

"Well that’ll happen to ya sometimes. What were you doing, practicing a trick?" chimes in the guy by the truck.

I wish I had a story about how it was all related and really it is. But what am I going to do? That fat-ass dude probably just filled it that hole. I know everyone else that saw it was entertained, judged on the applause alone. Plus, my wrist is starting to hurt. I hope I’ll be able to roll cigamarettes.

So, the point is fuck all this new interest in "Extreme Sports". I’ve been riding a skateboard since Bones, and Natas and Gator and FfeJ and Gonzo and Oscar. Busting tricks and picking scabs. Stealing wood to make ramps that get torn down in the span of a week ten times over. Since, Fat Larry GoSkate, back in the day. To put that into perspective, 1980… before even as a wee toehead. I’ve been busting my ass, hurting my self while "playing" from the get go. So now there’s this fascination for dangers sports by the mainstream. Why is it that all the stuff I like ends up being cool? Watching someone else bust their shit doesn’t do anything for the viewer except give ‘em something to talk about. Being true to the medium of television, its truly not interaction and brings new meaning (to me) to the phrase No Pain No Gain. Unless you actually do it, you aren’t getting anything out of it. Life is not a spectator sport. And in the words of the Surf Punks, "Locals Only" … oh and "…Look out for the dummies there’s a million and more, they’ll rip off your spot, they think they’re hot. If you see a dummy, send him back where he came, the land of the low-life’s, the land of the lame."… but I digress. If someone’s gonna market your lifestyle at least you should get a few bucks.

You should be inspired to try to do something adventurous. Pinch yourself or have a friend punch you in the arm. Do something dangerous, learn a lesson. Knife throwing for fun and profit. Slap your friend in the back of the neck. He may stand up and punch you in the gut or he may do nothing. Either way it was an experiment wasn’t it? Send all research data to a local university, maybe you’ll get a grant. To cut to the chase, pain makes you know straight away that you’re alive. Not really a big revelation but when it was said that "As I bleed I feel alive", it is very life affirming. We are only really talking about cuts and scrapes bruises and sprains… nothing too serious. In this case getting the sensation of zero G’s for split-second followed by the awkward jarring and subsequent pang from misreading the signals. The next time I know I should know the surface on which I am entering. Pretty good lesson. I learned folks like to laugh. It’s only a lot cooler if it’s someone else they’re doing it at. Arm-chair quarterbacks and critics are bad right? Forget the fact that I’m a stinking critic my own sports-hating self. You gotta bust a few eggs if you're gonna make a Kraft singles omelet.

So get out there and run around crazy, blindfold optional. That’s about all I’m saying I’m not gonna be the only one nursing my wounds. Self-destructive’s unite! (Act responsibly)