#go warlock

Crowley: *holding out Warlock* You wanna hold him then?

Warlock: I’d say they were lying because Nanny doesn’t have any friends

It’s been posed before the idea of Crowley and Aziraphale taking Adam and raising him as their own, but what if they kidnapped Warlock, working under the idea that he’s still the antichrist.

Then for years Crowley and Aziraphale raise Warlock as the most human human - not out of their blatant attempts to make him good or evil but because Crowley and Aziraphale, for ethereal beings, are very human. Warlock grows up loving books and knowing how to repair busted novels as well as raising very beautiful plants.

Then, on his birthday, the two wait for the hellhound to show. They’ve hoped until now that they have perfectly made a balanced antichrist to avert the end (and, admittedly, they really do love the kid - they want him to experience this world).

And then... nothing.

Warlock's parents fight a lot. Usually when they think he's asleep or when he's at school. Little do they know, he stays awake much longer than usual. He hears servants and chefs talk about the fights his parents have. He has eyebags heavier than a ton of rock.

He can't magically pour two pounds of sugar on the heavy feeling on his shoulders akin to thick, unsettled concrete. But he does have a slight remedy to his problems. A short 30 seconds of solace.

Nanny Ashtoreth's lullaby.

He might be a tad older than the age intended for it, but he still sung it to himself when the house was quiet and none were around or awake to hear it. Although it was coming from a hoarse, choked voice, it still helped him sleep better.

Even 4 years later, when he's fifteen years old, he still sings it to himself.

And so when Nanny Ashtoreth comes back to visit, she asks him for a tour. He agrees, stuttery and still shocked. Ashtoreth looks like she never aged a day. Perhaps she didn't, but that's preposterous. Look at Warlock himself, he's a sleep deprived mess with braces and acne. But still, Ashtoreth is flawless.

He shows Ashtoreth all the usual places, which all look a pinch different, new carpet in some places, granite countertops in others, and eventually he shows her the garden, most plants in the process of dying or already dead. She frowns for the first time since she visited, noticing the man meant to be the new gardener slacking off and sitting in the grass, his hat over his head and dead asleep. She glares more than she intended, Warlock hurrying her off to show her his room.

"Sorry if it's a mess, no one told me you were coming."

"I'm sure it's fine, dear."

But alas, Warlock knew it wasn't. He looked down at his shoes as he pushed the door open.

His room was absolutely trashed. He didn't have to look up to know that.

Ashtoreth's heels clacked against the ground as she walked in. "Ah, see? There's not a trace of a mess here. You should open the windows, though."

Warlock looked up, and his room was indeed neat and tidy.

What?

He knew he didn't leave it like that. It was always ruined, only having a mildly clear path lined from his bed, to his door, or bed to dresser. Every other spot was full of discarded clothes and other things he didn't bother put away. To see it perfectly clean was....

ADAMLOCK IS VALID AND I SHIP IT!

I'll go dOWN with this ship!