#gn9

Jas was being annoying Jasish. She has learned all the lines for Juliet for the first two acts. How incomprehensively botty-kissing is that? She has done it because she genuinely thinks that she is Juliet.And that Tom is her Romeo.As I said to her, "We'd better say ta taa, then, Jas, because you die at thirteen. Which was two years ago."

Dave the Laugh found me. He was holding his hand as if he had hurt it. He smiled at me and said, "Are you OK, Miss Kittykat?"I said, "Oh, Dave, thank goodness you came. What has happened to your hand?"He said, "One of the hard lads bit me—I may never play the tambourine again."

Too many trousers spoil the broth.

Oh joy unbounded, there is a postcard from the Luuurve God! It has a picture of a donkey drinking a bottle of wine on the front of it. Is that what goes on in Rome? You never know with not English people.Shut up, brain, and read the postcard from the beluuurved.Ciao, bella.I am mis you like crazy. I am not for long to wait to see you. Todaya we go to the mountains, I have a song in my heart for you. MasimoAaaaaahhhh. He has a song in his heart for me. I hope it is not "Shut Uppa You Face, Whatsa Matta You."

Miracle of miracles Declan has actually asked [Ellen] on a date. They're meeting by the clock tower tomorrow evening, so she has come to the Luuurve Goddess (moi) for advice.It passes the time helping others.I said, "Ellen, here in a nutshell are my main top tips. Don't drink or eat anything, not even a cappuccino unless you know for sure your date is an admirer of the foam moustache. If he is—dump him. Secondly and vair vair importantly, do not say what is in your brain. And above all, remember to dance and be jolly. Although be careful about where you do spontaneous dancing. If you do it in a supermarket he will just think you are weird."