#glitterpated

As I am writing this, I am on a bus headed from Cincinnati to Chicago for probably one of the last times. My parents are moving from our home in Ohio to Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Since beginning to live in Chicago for college I have made this journey many times, but this time is different. And I can actually feel it. (The shakiness of the bus aside). 

When I made plans to come home for just a few days I couldn't decided if it would actually be a good thing for me to do. I needed to be there to sort and clean out 10 years worth of stuff from my bedroom, but I knew that once I left I'd feel sadder than I would have not being there at all. 

Although I already had the "big move" of leaving home and going to college, I could feel the heavy weight of change that came with this trip. 

It started straight from the beginning when I was waiting to board the bus in Chicago. A fellow bus rider asked how I had liked my trip in Chicago. I replied with a simple "Oh, I live here." It didn't occur to me until later when I was thinking back on it that this wasn't my normal reply to the question I would get asked multiple times throughout taking the Chicago-Cincinnati Megabus route. My answer for the past 4 years was "Oh, I go to school here." Now its, "Oh, I live here." A few words making all the difference in my new reality.

Every time I come to Cincinnati I know I can always count on one of my best friends to be there. She is  the one I always make sure I see when I am home and I know she'll be there. A constant. Most of those who were in our "friend group" in high school are scattered about the country now, so its  rare that any one person will be in Cincinnati the same time you are. But, even my conversations with her were different this time around. We talked about our parents, student loans, grad school, jobs, and, relationships and I think both of us could feel this ripple of change that was approaching us in a new stage of life.

"I think the only time we're all going to get together is for weddings and reunions now."

"Hah. Yeah."

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I stood alone at the bus stop in Cincinnati for the last time in the familiar way I knew it. As I waved to my mom as her and my dad drove off, I tried not to cry. I could feel the tears in my eyes as a woman next to me caught my attention.

She pointed to her young daughter and said "You're going on the Chicago bus right? She wanted me to tell you how great Chicago is."

I smiled at them and the uneasiness in my stomach went away as I said "Yeah it is. I live there now."

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The Weight of Change: