#girlfriendsedit

William runs into Joan’s office. William: Joan! You’ll never guess who’s coming to town on Mother’s Day. Joan: Uh, your mother? William: I was kind of hoping you’d think that was too obvious. But you’ll never guess what she’s bringing her baby. Joan: Uh, his blankie? William: Don’t be silly, Joan. Mom would never take that off the little cowboy bed. Guess again. Joan: I -- I can’t. I’m still in shock. William: My mother is bringing my Aunt Bessie’s Pillsbury Bake-Off Blue Ribbon 7 Up Cake! Joan: Oh, darn! And here I was looking forward to your Uncle Henry’s Johnny Walker Red Label Sweet Potato Pie. William: Nah. Uncle Henry’s pie has kind of lost its kick since he went to rehab.]

[Image Description: Eight stacked gifs from Girlfriends. Joan has called Toni in a panic. Toni: Joan, step away from the ledge and listen. You just came off of a big case, right? Joan: Yeah. Toni: Then, honey, you’re probably late because of stress. Joan, clearly relieved: Oh... you’re right. It’s stress! The same stress that is the number one cause of heart attacks and strokes. She laughs before a look of horror crosses her face. She starts to grasp at her chest. Joan: Oh, my God! I’m gonna- I’m gonna have a heart attack. Toni: Or a stroke! But at least you’re not pregnant.]

William: First thing you do is you take yourself a jar of olives. You place them strategically on the counter, you look at the other person and you say, “Olive juice.” Joan: “Olive juice”? William: If you mumble it just right, it sounds like you said, “I love you.” Now, if they say, “I love you, too,” you’re in. But if they look kinda confused, just say, “Olive juice? I can’t believe I left the olive juice out.” Joan laughing, incredulous: Okay, that is the dumbest advice that I have ever heard. Her attitude becomes more serious. Joan: Does it work?]