#girlfrand

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑱𝒂𝒛𝒛 𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒏 𝒔𝒆𝒕𝒔 🧡 𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 2019 #neworleans #nolasky #jacksonsquare #girlfrand #sillouette #nolabuildings #jacksonsquare #daytonight (at Dumaine St Gang) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3U6oXHlyNs/?igshid=1qek0l9tgkpgs

Nights like this

(istilltotallywon)

FLAPFLAP

They say when you really love someone, your emotions and actions mimic theirs. So if they feel sad, you feel sad. When they feel happy, you feel happy too. But life isn't always this black and white...some days you're going to have a bad bad day and when you talk to your loved one, they'll tell you they had a pretty good day. There's going to be times where you need help and comfort, but all they want to do is hang out with friends and be happy. A healthy relationship means that no one should feel guilty about trying to be happy. No matter how healthy it is that my boyfriend and I need each other, it'd be selfish of me to not pursue hobbies to get my mind off of things, and to constantly need him when he is away and with his friends. But also on the other hand, it'd be selfish of him to say "I'm trying to be happy so can you just not feel this way?" Or it'd be selfish of him to tell me I need to focus less on school and more on him if he knows that I'm extremely busy and that school's super important. In a healthy relationship, both ends need to try and be strong. When one person is busy with friends, school, work, etc., and the other is feeling down in the dumps, they need to know how to help themselves. This is what it means to "love yourself before you love anyone else." I'm not saying that if you don't love yourself, you don't deserve to be loved. That's absolutely not true. My boyfriend does not appreciate himself and brings himself down a lot, and regardless, I love him to death and want to reassure him always. He goes over the top to be loyal to people that he loves so he deserves to be loved and appreciated! But not all people are willing to reassure others over and over and over again. I know how it feels to sink back down into self despair even when so many people are reassuring me that I'm more than I think I am. It's hard living with your own thoughts, so it takes a long while for me to give up on someone because I wouldn't want someone giving up on me. Others can be different. After reassuring so many times, they might feel frustrated, unhappy, and brought down themselves because after reassuring so many times, things might look hopeless to them. Everyone stands in different shoes. People who get tired of reassuring might not feel that bringing oneself up from out of the dark pit of depression is difficult, therefore if their reassurance is not helping someone else, they might feel like the help they themselves are giving does nothing to fix any problems, and it brings them down. That is how a person who has depression can bring down the people that love them. There are those relationships out there where if one end has depression, the other end is willing to help and reassure, always (as well as being at their partner's side when they're crying for no reason, feeling down and unable to pick themselves up, and so on). As long as both sides of the relationship feel happy with each other, and no one feels guilty for who they are and what they want to do, that relationship will stay healthy until that changes. Then there are the relationships where when one end feels down much of the time and is not always able to help themselves, the other end doesn't always feel like they want to help. They might feel like they want independence and prefer that their partner has their own strength. They might also feel that it's best to give tough love to their partner instead of reassurance, training them to be more independent of their partner so that they don't always need help. Some people believe that this is love. I learned in biology that organisms in symbiotic relationships, like for example, an acacia tree providing fire ants homes in exchange for protection from the fire ants, are not generous, kind creatures that are in the symbiotic relationship to give. The acacia tree would not just provide homes for ants if it didn't benefit somehow. We are somewhat like this, except our minds are more complex. We should be in the relationships we are in because these relationships make us happy. You can't have a healthy relationship if you're in the relationship only to make the other person happy (and if that is the only reason you're in that relationship, it's best to get out of it). This is why it's unhealthy in a relationship for one of the ends to feel guilty for wanting to be happy when the other end feels low. This is a pretty touchy subject but I feel I have enough experience to have the right to say these things...

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