#ghosttsar

can  you  see  the  fists  balled  up  at  his  side  ??    can  you  see  how  they're  shaking  ,    how  hard  it  is  for  him  to  hold  in  his  awoos  ??    don’t  awoo  ?!    how  is  he  supposed  to  not  awoo  ?!   THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY  ???!?!    he  has    …    fifteen  coppers  .    that’s  not  even  enough  to  buy  a  soup  .    how  is  he  expected  to  not  awoo  ?!

nothing about this has sat well with tommy. when rowena left there was a sinking feeling that he was never likely to see her again. she is resourceful, but he wouldn't put it above changretta to slaughter her child and all in an attempt to end his lineage if not the shelby lineage. even with a direct invitation, it feels as though this will somehow spoil whatever truce that emilie has managed to cull from his supposed death. if she returns at least, there will be answers of some sort. beyond those of the letter. verification or fierce denial of michael's claims, though he can't say he would be surprised if the child, and he is sure there is a child at least was a changretta bastard. it might get arthur to finally sign the damn papers.

he takes care when it comes to his wife's anger, neither stoking or soothing it without knowing the root cause. she is a hurricane, a natural disaster, and she cannot be contained even as she brings that anger through his door cold and unrelenting. he expects to be the target of it, flickering his eyes to her at the initial question, lips parted as if to ask what before she continues.

Hugo and Tony , colorized ( 1961 )

zoya!! didn't want!! to kill the tiger!! i think that's such an under-appreciated fact, it gets buried under the (admittedly badass) way she saves the cubs. but that's the thing, really. she tells the darkling the others can go to hell, it's her blood on the snow. but her blood is on the snow not to prove herself, not to kill the tiger and get the amplifier. it's to save the cubs. to put herself in the line of danger to protect the defenseless. and, in doing that, the way zoya acquires that first amplifier is actually much, much more similar to the way alina gets hers from the stag and the sea whip (those elements of mercy, of getting the amplifiers not through pure ambition/determination but with elements of mercy and sorrow and even regret). i think zoya looked at the full-grown tiger, saw how big and powerful and beautiful it was, and she did feel a twinge of regret. of regret and something like kinship, because she, too, has wanted to just attack. she, too, wants to snap and growl and show her own rage, her own ferocity.

AND it comes much closer to the way juris describes the old way of animals/amplifiers than anything else we really see. zoya doesn't just kill the tiger, she's also almost killed by it. she carries those scars for the rest of her life: she took something of the tiger's, but the tiger took something of her, too.

she treasures that amplifier, and not just for the power it gives her. she treasures it because it makes her remember that moment, remember saving the cubs and the feel of the claws on her back. it reminds her what she's really in the second army to do, and that it doesn't matter who likes her or doesn't like her. it reminds her to be fierce and bold and brave, reminds her that things can be beautiful and deadly at the same time. and, when she lets herself, it reminds her that the part of her that would throw herself between a full-grown tiger and helpless cubs is, in fact, the best part of her.

The first two games are more strategy if that’s your thing

@ghosttsar replied to your post “i will probs never play the fallout games coz i'm...”:

You can switch your perspective to 3rd person if I remember right! I haven't actually played them in a minute but I remember that at least for game play you can. I don't quite remember for certain conversations

@afraidofchange replied to your post “i will probs never play the fallout games coz i'm...”:

i believe most of the newer titles you can zoom out to be in 3rd person? I know it's not ideal but it is possible!

❛ &. when i think i'm fine you'll visit. ❜

he drops his jaw open as he chews a piece of fluorescent green apple, an uninvited guest in @ghosttsar's home but perhaps not an unwelcome one. out of time & place, he leans against the door frame as he watches her move through the room. she would like to believe that, wouldn't she? hide in these games of pretend as if anxiety does not hand around her throat like an anchor, her hubris lost in the surprise. at least for the moment as he lingers, lifting his free hand to gesture with a single finger as if indicating she pause long after she's stopped speaking.

@ghosttsar // starter call

❝I HAVE NOT TESTED THIS extensively.❞ He paused a moment. ❝I think. If I have, I don't remember, so it's of no consequence.❞ Perhaps too casual of an attitude given the current activity. He'd warned the magically inclined of their party to be careful crossing their spells with his. This was no threat but a necessary precaution, for magic drawn from the Plane of Death did not take well to that from any other source. They'd now seen this in action more than once as he blanketed his spells over their enemies'. Each meeting was an explosion — literally — rippling out like grief to claw any near. Fortunately, Rowena had reacted to this with interest rather than alarm. There had even been talk of how they might use this to their advantage — talk they were now testing.