#ghostabaddon

I took a look at myself, And I realized I would have to give up this fantasy of us that I had concocted. I fell asleep every night dreaming of us, Of running off into the sunset with you by my side Holding on tight as I fall asleep, Making sure I never fall off the side of the moon, Where we had made our home in between the galaxies. But you were you, And I was me, And those fairy tales would never come true. Sometimes I wonder if I would even want them to. Because maybe the fantasy was exactly that. A fantasy. And maybe I would grow tired of hearing you sing in the mornings As you make pancakes, And maybe you would grow tired of making pancakes In the first place. And you had been in love, And it wasn’t with me, And maybe you would realize he could be more than I ever could. What if this fantasy is built on nothing, Just a whim of love, grasping at air and fairy floss, hoping to take hold Of something, anything, to have a permanent place in my heart. And all in that moment With these thoughts rushing through my mind, And my pulse racing, Constantly reminding me of decisions to be made, The illusion dropped. And I realized this must stop, And I must be apart of something bigger than nightly text marathons Of who loves who more, When neither of us really love each other at all, Or at least not in the way that I had dreamed. And you must figure out how you feel about your past love, And I must figure out how I feel about mine. And about my future. And the stars will not ever be our home, Except maybe in my dreams, Late at night When the fairy tale takes over again And I forget what it feels like to be on the ground.

*totally anon* so um I'm 5'3" with hazel eyes and auburn hair and I think you're a cutie and I like long walks on the beach and if we were dating I'd wrap you in a blanket and bring you hot cocoa and popcorn and we could marathon supernatural or shameless together sounds good? <3 ily okay byebye *whispers* pick me

╰☆╮ 21st birthday promo╰☆╮

look at me darling. you can’t. you know. you know that you left me by the seashore, with the shells sharp under my feet, and sand scratching my skin, grey clouds gathering. you knew there was a storm approaching, yet you left. look me in the eye love and tell me you didn’t mean to hurt me. you were the princess and I, well I couldn’t be the princess too, now could i? I became the maidservant, always ready to come when you call, always ready to give away whatever you needed, always ready to give you my soul if asked. you were the princess but I was far from your knight in shining armor. I was the horse you road on as you went around the pastures and I was the weeds that grew between your toes but that’s enough it doesn’t matter what I was, now I’m just a traveler with no road to follow. maybe this time i’ll pave my own road wouldn’t that be an idea? would you love me then? would you come back from your beachside cottage and lift me up off of the sand? would you still walk away? does it even matter what you do? maybe this time I’ll forge my own crown and become the princess myself. maybe I will build a much better kingdom with much grander horses and maidservants who don’t make the mistake of falling in love with me who don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m capable of being loved. maybe this time i’ll find a princess of my own. or maybe I’ll try just being me this time, in this kingdom i’ve built on this road I’ve paved and finally be everything I’ve wanted. but tonight, I’ll fall asleep with your name on my lips and your smile burnt behind my eyelids, what we could have been playing out like a film in the dark.