Jul 26
working on comic plot shit and showed this to my husband and he said "tetsuya nomura would be so proud" dont know what that means but i know kingdom hearts is like my husbands favorite thing so its probably a compliment at least
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working on comic plot shit and showed this to my husband and he said "tetsuya nomura would be so proud" dont know what that means but i know kingdom hearts is like my husbands favorite thing so its probably a compliment at least
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i have a chart for looking at the differences between character stats for the party members in my game and i enjoy it a lot
the traits are like, flavor basically theyre for a guide that explains why their stats differ from the baseline (if no one had any traits then everyone would have 3 stars in every stat)
im kind of obsessed with applying tarot to random shit creatively. its so broad and vague its really easy to mold into what you want it to be. i even have some dream sequences that already existed and im like oh that could fit the themes of this card really well.
well i mean one of them is a dream where saye ends up in like a kingdom of fairies where she cant speak and all the fairies kind of trample all over her and talk shit about her and send her on errands and stuff while she cant speak and the main theme of it is like, being mildly tormented by mistreatment she experienced in the past, particularly from women and her mother. and the main fairies doing this to her are the queen and someone who is assigned to like keep an eye on her/follow her on her errands and both of them just dump all their thoughts and insecurities onto her, and she cant talk so they just project onto her and eventually the one in charge of watching her kind of snaps/misinterprets her attempts at communication as an insult or rejection or something and she stabs her.
ive decided the card that applies to this dream is the high priestess (not the empress no, neither card is especially negative but i really needed something particularly feminine so i decided to come up with a somewhat unique interpretation of a reversed reading and i thought this one made more sense despite the empress potentially having more of a "motherly" vibe but i guess it could have to do with a level of emotional/role detachment)
ough i just almost got scared that vampire hunting could be like a lucrative career but no my system doesnt allow it. i was gonna say you could kill a vampire and claim youre avenging a victim (exploiting the revenge law which is made very exploitable on purpose) and then sell their body to a blood bank but that would only be possible if you have legal say over what happens to their body, which youd need to be like, their next of kin to do that. even vampires do not automatically have claim to their own kills because they immediately become government property.
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i wasnt supposed to do world building today but i got really distracted about like how the government works so we decided its a hybrid US/canadian de facto successor state (idk what the governing bodies think is going on but they cant contact the US or canadian governments and they cant agree if theyre in the US or canada) and uhh i decided there should be no police or prison just bc i dont want there to be bc i thought itd be interesting to figure out (especially if i dont actually plan on having like, a GOOD alternative). and a long time ago i decided theyd have all their crime/justice shit sorted via like community policing, vigilante justice, but i added government fines and greylisting (which sucks super bad btw) and so the government sort of incentivizes that kind of behavior monetarily (get paid to report crimes, there is a process for preventing fraud) and i guess you can like, be a bounty hunter.
its still kind of just cops again but at least theyre not like, a deployable squadron or anything. im not really doing this as commentary on irl though im just kinda doing stuff arbitrarily bc it doesnt have an impact on the story at all. i like giving myself made up bullshit problems to "solve" (i want this world to be kinda fucked up too just in a different way)
okay im making plans to deal with my adhd a little better. i think potentially i do need a dose increase but im going to put that off for as long as possible bc i dont want to go to the doctor again bc psychs fuckin expensive (trying to limit medical expenses in general where i can)
i think the main reason im struggling with attention so much is because i dont really have tasks lined up so i just kind of float around all day trying to think of something to do. im taking a break from gamedev and comic work to spend the [current season] focusing on tww (and ive decided not to do the art stuff until the writing part is all done (so i know which assets to make), but maybe i could find some stuff to do between meetings like uhh working on toyhouse profiles or uhh im still debating doing artfight
what was i saying (had to stop writing post to discuss scheduling going for walks with husband) uhhhhh maybe thats it idk. something about uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh making a consistent schedule and trying to do stuff in line with when i take my meds (i take my meds at very specific times, theyre technically active for most of the day but i have some pretty obvious lulls) i feel like i had more to say but i cant really remember.
im glad she at least kinda doesnt have a deadname to worry about since she never went by her first name anyway? i mean michaels is KIND of a deadname but its not for gender reasons so maybe it doesnt have the same weight to it (its for bad relationship with father reasons, also no not inspired by who youre thinking of its a total coincidence)
btw thats kind of why shes trans lmao, i was like oh isnt it funny that this character like refuses to let anyone call them by their original legal name isnt that so weird. and then i was like oh yeah theres like an entire demographic of people who have a tradition of doing that. btw the reason for that is she originally just had my name (bc remember loren and michaels are both characters who were originally self inserts) and i just couldnt think of a better name so we used her last name as a placeholder until i thought of one and i never did.