#ghost's

the amount of rage I feel due to being the eldest child and only daughter is genuinely unquantifiable. like I totally relate to jokes about Eldest Daughter Syndrome leaving you burnt out from trying to manage a hundred expectations at once but I just wanna take a quick minute to think about how much anger that role produces. sometimes I seriously contemplate entering underground fight clubs to just Get It Out of my system y'know but then I spy a pile of unfolded clothes that have sat on the couch for a week straight. and it's like hmm time to try and curb my resentment towards every member of my family while also trying to allow myself the respect and dignity to actually Feel Emotions.

shout out to my disabled girlies who also get stopped on public transport by security to ask if you're going through drug withdrawals bc your disability shares symptoms with drug withdrawals. double shout out if the answer is technically yes bc you've been on prescription pain meds since 14 years old.

my favourite part of being neurodivergent and mentally ill is pushing the narrative that you're just A Bit Dumb and Lazy because the thought of explaining to anyone other than your psychologist that you couldn't take your math quiz because you were trying to convince your gremlin brain that the Void is not the solution to your problems is Too Intimate. Until you get to situations where you need to take time off to get yourself back into a healthier mindset and people like don't take you seriously at all. Like I'm terrified of emotional intimacy that I can't control to the point that people just straight up think I'm stupid because I'd rather they think that then like actually communicate. Anyway by favourite I actually meant least favourite.

The feminine urge to close my curtains when drinking tea upstairs so the neighbours don't accidentally snitch to my ma that I drink tea upstairs in my room with the new carpet she expressively forbid me from drinking tea over even though I'm technically an adult.