#ghost project

It's a painful experience. Being ripped through the veil. So he thought having you there to help reorient the ghoul and if push comes to shove, help subdue them with your quintessince. He neglected to say it would also be a comfort to him, along with all his ghouls being present. Including Aether.

The chatter was constant. Everyone you passed in the halls was talking about tonight's ritual. Copia had reassigned your normal chores to someone else for the next couple days, much to your disliking. He left a note insisting you resting was going to be important. Its not your first time aiding in a summoning, you had been present for several. Even after having the experience you were anxious about the looming evening and the events to follow.

Something just felt strange. Strange in a way that has your intuition screaming at you. It would be a long night or possibly a long couple of days. It would depend on how the summoned ghoul adjusted. With the way you were feeling you were assuming it would not go the way everyone was hoping. Only time would tell.

Continuing down the hall you head back to your room. You had slept in his room again last night. This morning being the first time you had awoken in his bed though. When you had come to the realization of where you were, you felt a small swarm of butterflies in your stomach. At some point, he must have moved you from the couch. He was long gone by the time you had come to, having slept till late morning. He had left the previously mentioned note to explain his absence.

Your relationship with your current Papa has been evolving at a rapid pace. Less than two weeks ago you hadn't know a lot about him outside of his role or what you had learned when he was Cardinal. He knew even less about you. Whatever was taking place between you was happening at a neck-breaking speed. It was hard to think about. If you thought about it too hard you'd spiral and that wouldn't benefit anyone.

Entering your room you rummaging around for a fresh pair of clothes, still being in your clothing from the day prior. You planned on taking a long, hot, everything shower in hopes of melting some of the tension and worry away. Going to the connected bathroom you start the shower. Taking your clothes off you step into the spray of water. Looking up you close your eyes and just let the water cascade down your body. The warmth slowly beginning to strip away your thoughts as you focus on the feeling. Taking this opportunity to wash away the grime and dirt you begin your routine.

After spending a good chunk of time pampering yourself, you exit your shower. Though you now felt more relaxed you could not shake that stubborn nagging voice in the back of your head. You still couldn't identify if it was completely bad. Wrapping a soft towel around your body you start brushing your teeth. While brushing you look in the mirror. Having had so much going on the past week you hadn't had much time to really study yourself. You looked brighter. Not quite as tired. Noticing this brought other realizations to the surface. You feel better. Not quite so weighted. You had slept better these last four days then you had in what felt like ages. Was it sleeping with another person present? Or was it not have to carry the weight of feeling alone and building a connection? Or maybe both. You weren't sure but whatever it was, you definitely felt better.

Copia is healing a little part of you that much is clear. You swiftly finish up your daily morning hygiene and move to dress yourself. Forgoing the uniform you normally wear you opt for a simple black sleeveless high-neck catsuit. Comfortable yet functional.

Leaving the bathroom you seat yourself at your desk and look over some of the pages lying on it. A chore schedule, an empty sketch page, a copy of the announcements for the week. Grabbing the sketch paper and sliding the pencil holder closer, you grab one from its confines. Starting in the corner the pencil glides across the paper, leaving a trail of graphite behind.

With each stroke, an image begins to unravel. Drawing from memory you did your best to depict your subject. Slowly but surely, Primo's face becomes clearer. A warm look on his features. Primo had always had this air of calm control. After a while of line work and shading you sit back and admire the small sketch of your dear friend. Deciding you're not done, you shift your area of focus on the paper. Dragging the first line you begin again. This time it's Sodo's face that starts to take shape. Unmasked and wild. After you move on again. Copia's strong face making its appearance. Him in the morning after falling asleep on the couch, his simple paints smeared out of place.

You take extra care on the last one though. Detailing every feature to be as close to an exact match as you possibly can. In the leftover space, you draw your kit. The memories of him in his infancy flood your mind. The paper portrayed a small kit in a bassinet sleeping. Tail curled up over the abdomen and hair unruly.

You continue to draw with as much precision as you can muster when a knock sounds after your door. "It's open." You call out into the room. You knew who it was before they even opened the door. Glancing over as Sodo makes his way through the door you quietly go back to working on your sketch. Sodo peeks over your shoulder at your little art project. "What are you working on?" Still shading away you give a simple reply. "Just drawing. Relaxes me."

He studies the page that you were so carefully scribbling away at. The first thing he noticed was himself. Your perception of him gave him a slight flutter of joy. He takes in the two Papa's before honing in on your current illustration. "You're good." He turns and takes a seat on your bed. "Thank you. I've had time to practice." You chuckle. Taking a pause you set your pencil down, maneuvering your body to face him. "What are you up to. You normally don't come find me until after or during lunch."

Throwing his helmet on the bed beside him he flops back on the bed. He pulls his blond hair free from its bun. "I got bored. Papa gave us the day off because of tonight. He's working on preparations for everything. Speaking of which he mentioned you being there." Leaning into the chair you sigh. "Yeah, he asked me to lead in trying to settle the new ghoul." He nods. "I'll stick by you." "What don't think I can handle myself? I know I'm old but if I remember correctly I was present for a certain ghouls summoning. I'd say I handled myself just fine." "I know you were, but that's not what I meant and you know it Ma." You giggle. "I know but I've got to tease you a little bit. I'd appreciate the help if the time comes." Seemingly having built up the courage to ask Sodo sits up onto his elbows. "Who are you drawing?" Looking back at your paper you glance over it.

"Oh. This? Just little things from my memories." You half deflect then remind yourself that you've got to try. "I've got Primo, my best friend. You and Copia. This little devil here. This is my kit in infancy." You look at the drawing with such fondness. "You have a kit?" Sodo sits up completely now. "I sure do. Been quite some time since I've seen my boy though. He was left behind when I was summoned." Quietly as if not sure to say he mutters a "I'm sorry". You hand him the page so he can look closer. "He's younger than you. Probably closer in age to Rain, but still a bit younger. He was wild and full of energy. I think about him almost every day."

You drag the folder with the older drawing out and hand him that one too. He looks up at you again. "How many people know?" "Primo was the only one I ever told, well and now you." He focuses on you, then the pictures, then on you again. "You've been up here for over a century, and you've carried that essentially alone." Sighing you adjust your chair to better face him and relax back. It felt nice to talk about him. "It took a long time for me to be okay. When I was summoned, I was very feral. A mother ripped from her kit, then cornered. A marvelous combination if you're seeking out bloodshed. They were not experienced and did not know how to handle ghouls at the time." You paused. "I was locked away for a couple of years to ensure others' safety. Eventually, I became stable enough to gain some freedom. It takes a lot of pain to become this gentle. I've been here a long time but time doesn't heal all pains unfortunately. You learn to live with them and yourself. Or you let them drive you mad." "You hiding anything else?" You shoot him a mischievous grin. "Most definitely, but maybe you can learn more later. I'm getting hungry." He chuckles and hands the papers back to you. You place them in the folder and stand. You both secure your masks in place and leave the room behind.

---

You both decided to track down the rest of the Imperia ghouls to eat together. After tracking everyone down you all sat down and enjoyed a meal together. After today they were going to have a significant change and invite a new face to their circle. Your only hope is that it goes over well and they are all able to get along.

After all the jovial conversation and eating everyone agreed to meet up right before the summoning. You decide to see if you could sniff out Copia. Much to your luck he was in the first place you looked, his office, but you couldn't be granted to much luck because he wasn't alone. You decide to chance a knock anyway. The worst thing is he says it's not a good time. The talking in the room quiets for a moment and then the door opens. Copia in full paints meets you, keeping the door half shut. "Ah! Il mio fiore. Come posso aiutarla?" You try not to look past him out of respect. "Hi Papa! Is now a bad time?" You try to be as polite as possible knowing who's on the other side of the door. You didn't want to cause trouble for him or yourself. "Purtroppo è proprio adesso. Mi dispiace, fiore mio. Mi dispiace anche per stamattina." You note his use of only Italian. He wanted to keep the words mostly private. In a lower voice, you reply. "It's quite alright. I'm sorry to have bothered you while busy, Papa. Would it be okay for me to stop by later?"

Before he could answer a female voice interjects. "If you are so sorry why are you still talking. He is busy. Why must you bother him on such a day knowing well enough?" Sister Imperator moves behind Copia to get a look at who interrupted.

A look of disgust crosses her face when she recognizes you. "It's disrespectful and you should feel ashamed. You of all people should know this." She scoffs. "But then again you've always been a nuisance and stuff your nose in places it doesn't belong." Your ears flatten back and tail flicks subtly with irritation. "I apologi-" "No, don't apologize." He turns his body towards his mother. "That was very unnecessary and disrespectful. We were having a convention. I would appreciate it if you do not speak to her in such a manner again!" She glared over his shoulder. "Why are you defending her. I can think of so many better to converse with than her." She was not fond of you.

You and her had a history of disagreeing with each other, to put it nicely. "That is enough." His voice was stern and commanding. He pivots his body towards you and ushers you away from the door.

Expecting him to close the door he surprises you by coming into the hall with you, securing the door shut behind him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to add trouble to your already full plate." He smiles softly and brings his gloved hands to rest on your cheek. "I am the one who needs to apologize. I should not have allowed that to happen. I am sorry." He rubs his thumb over your cheekbone. "What did you need, il mio fiore?" You smile back at him. "It's alright. It is not the first time, and it surely won't be the last time she shares her distaste for me. I just wanted to come make sure you had eaten or if there was anything I could do to lighten your load." "I haven't eaten. I will, no doubt. Thank you for caring. As of right now I don't have anything I myself can delegate." He seems to decompress somewhat. "I'm sorry about leaving you this morning. I was hoping to spend a bit of time with you before the chaos took over, but as it normally goes, I cannot escape it. There is a chance we will not be able to see each other for a while outside of taking care of the new ghoul. Not until the ritual is complete and the ghoul is either settled or subdued. I will seek you out whenever I can."

Warmth spread through your chest. You give him your best reassuring look. "I completely understand, Copia. I know things are going to be hectic. It'll be ok." His free hand lands on your other cheek. Now cradling your face he leans in to place a firm kiss on your forehead. Butterflies erupted in your stomach. "Thank you, il mio fiore. I appreciate you. When we do have time, I want to show you something." Letting his hands fall away to his side. He stepped back and nodded. "I must cut our time short, il mio fiore." You wave him on. "Get going, busy man." With that, he walks into his office. You backpedal until your back hits the wall behind you, never taking your eyes off the door he disappeared through. You blow out a deep sigh. He gave you the warm fuzzies and butterflies. Shit.

---

You were trying to keep your mind off Copia and what transpired earlier. You were failing. It was taking over every other thought. You didn't understand what was wrong with you. You were a grown ass demonic being from hell. You had killed and fought, and yet you felt like you were ready to giggle and kick your feet like a youngling with a crush.

Keeping a steady pace to the agreed meeting spot, you try the clear your head. You didn't need to be distracted. Especially when the summoning started. There was little room for errors or lives could be lost. Turning a corner the group of ghouls you were looking for came into sight. No one was masked. Not even you. "Hey guys. Do we have anyone?" Everyone looked around. "Everyone is accounted for." Mountain comments. You nod. "Good let's get this show on the road." The group begins to make its way the the basement staircase. The abbey has a bi-level basement. You would be on the lower level. As you make your way down the stairs and the drywall turns to stone, the feeling from the morning returns to you. This time it was so intense it slammed into you like a ton of bricks, making you stop in your tracks. That nagging voice in the back of your head and weighted stone in the pit of your stomach. Something was coming. Something big. You let out a slow breath and restart your descent.

Sodo's hand lands on your shoulder. Looking over at him he asks "Are you okay?". You smile and nod. "I'm fine. Just got a weird feeling." He studies your face. "Should we be worried?" You shake your head. "I don't think so, but I don't think it's a bad idea to keep our guard up a little high." Everyone around you nods.

Making it to the bottom you come face to face with 2 large doors to either side and a set of double doors straight ahead. The ceiling here was quite tall, reaching 14 ft tall. Heading forward you all approach to ornate double doors. The closer you get the louder the voice sings. Your anxiety grows. What's going on? You've been a part of several summoning rituals. Never have you felt this way. Mountain and Rain make it to the doors first and begin pushing on them. Your ears flatten back and tail thrashing in small, violent, movements. The voice is screaming. Something's coming! You want to scream back at it. What? What is coming? Sodo sudden grip on your hand startles you. You look at him. His eyes hold concern. Able to sense a little bit of your inner turmoil. You look ahead as the door fully open and you see into the ritual room. The voice goes silent, leaving you with a worse feeling. You can't place it. Should you be scared? You don't know, but it definitely left you feeling unsettled.

Everyone ventures into the large room. The stone architecture in the room was always a breathtaking sight. Siblings rush around doing the finishing touches on everything. Lighting the candles that litter the room and picking up supplies. Most of the preparations were done from what you could tell. There was a large sigil painted in the center of the room. Each one of you takes a spot around the circle standing about 4 feet back to allow room. Aether to your left and Sodo to your right. We would stay and wait for the rest of the involved clergy to arrive. Standing in your spot you find you can't relax. Your body wound tight. That feeling that at any moment something will go wrong. Your eyes bounce from corner to corner. Person to person. You fidget with your hands to try and release some of the anxious energy.

You wouldn't have to wait too long. Roughly six minutes later the doors open again to permit Copia, Sister Imperator, and high Clergymen entry. Any siblings who needed to took leave, others stayed and lined the walls away from the circle. Copia was the first to join the circle from the coming group. He chose to stand directly across from you. He was in a lighter version of his blue papal robes, granting more mobility should he need it, and a full face of his paints. The rest of the participants trickle into the circle. Sister takes her spot off to the side as a spectator.

Copia's eyes linger on you before looks around at everyone and nodding. "Everyone is aware of your roles?" All present nod in agreement. "Good. Then let us being." He is then handed an open book. Old. Ancient. A book of the damned and broken. Finding the correct text he begins the ritual. His voice bouncing off the walls with a slight echo. The Clergymen begin a chant of there one meant to amplify Copia's. Nothing happens for what feels like an eternity. The only sounds filling the room were the men's voices. Suddenly the flames of the candles intensify and begin the dance wildly. The room begins to feel heavier and the temperature begins to rise. Keeping your eyes glued to the center you watch the already there cracks in the stone. They begin to cave and widen, a red orange light seeping through.

Abruptly a screeching hiss ripes through the warm air. A sound a wild animal makes when its wounded and fighting for its life. Copia's chants hold steady. The ghoul begins to crawl out of the opening in the ground. Its pained cries peirce through you. Preparing your self for whats to come, a mop of wavy hair is the first thing you notice. Once out of the opening the ghoul erratically looks around the room a low threatening growl escapes their chest.

Copia finishes the chant effectively sealing the hole that was there mere seconds ago. The ghoul locks onto Copia. Ears and body language promising violence. Before he can finish his first step you yell out a "Hey!" and do a quick pull at the ghouls essence, successfully grabbing his attention. He whirls around to face you.

The moment you lock eyes you freeze. You know. You know what your intuition was screaming. You understand. You had been thinking about it all wrong. Had been convinced it was something bad. These thoughts take over your mind as he lunges. Copia yells your name out in a panic throwing an arm out as if he could reach you with his thoughts alone. The Clergymen flee the circle. You hear everything but it all feels like it's going in slow motion. You can't move. You know those angry, feral, eyes. You know them. Tears begin streaming down your face. Before the ghoul can reach you Sodo body checks the ghoul, sending him tumbling to the ground. "Don't you fucking touch her!" Sodo's voice was full of rage. Your knees give way and gravity pulls you down as you let out a grief-stricken wail that racks your whole body. The ghoul attempts to get back up but Sodo prevents it with a hard shove and a savage hiss. They begin struggling to overtake each other.

Copia rushes around towards you and Aether kneels to try and help. Mountain, Swiss, and Rain make a move to try and help Sodo keep the ghoul at bay. All the while the girls stand back to protect the others in the room. You shrugged Aether off and attempted to crawl forward, sobbing. Sodo raises his arm the strike the ghoul again as the ghoul attempts to bring his legs up to kick Sodo off. "SODO! No! It's him! It's my phantom! It's him!" You plead. Everything in the room stops, except for your cries. No one moves another inch. Sodo makes eye contact with you immediately. Pure shock on clear display. The same shock can be seen on the ghoul's face. Phantom's face.

You drag yourself towards them. Sodo steps back, the entire room still silent. Everyone holds their breath, as if any movement or sound would cause this to go south. You bring yourself right in front of him, settling on your knees. Hiccuping, you bring your shaking hands up but don't touch him. Studying his face you see recogniznition creep into his features. His lip is cut but otherwise he's fine. He looked older then when you'd last seen him. Only slightly. You can't believe it. He's sitting right in front of you.

Suddenly he launches himself into your arm. Everyone in the room flinches, those closest to you ready to reach out and rip him off of you. Your sobs ramp back up as you embrace him as tight as you can. Your tear stained face lodged in his shoulder. His body begins to shake against you.

Sister Imperator stomps towards the circle before demanding "What is the meaning of this!?" She gestures to you and the ghoul. Nobody knows what to say. Nobody know what's going on. Nobody... expect Sodo. "That's her son." He says, watching the two of you. Now its his turn to be looked at in shock.

----

Come posso aiutarla? - how can I help you?

mi dispiace, fiore mio - Im sorry my flower

purtroppo è proprio adesso - unfortunately it is right now

Mi dispiace anche per stamattina - I'm sorry about this morning too.

----

Tags!

@maddie-21-skye

@seestorpopia31

@water-ghoulette

@chezze-its

@aphroditeadores

   The halls were relatively busy, everyone trying to make it to their respective destinations. Among the many bodies passing someone reaches out to tap your shoulder. Turning, you're met with the tall build of Omega. "Hey (Y/N). Do you want to do lunch with our group again?"  You smile. "I would love to! I'm going to practice now, then I'll meet up with you guys after." You beam at him. "Cool. Someone will meet you in the hall after." "Ok! Thank you for inviting me!" You wave and turn with a pep in your step and continue your way. It was nice to be building friendships in the abbey. You loved being around the pack but sometimes you feel like it's a forced proximity bond. Being able to make friendships on your own feels different. Making it to practice you walk through the open door. A few of your bandmates were loitering around setting up their equipment, the others waiting. After removing your mask you check the clock noting you still had a few minutes. Your role was to be one of the backup vocalists.

    Humming to rats you walk towards your designated spot, the smile having not left your face. Aurora meets you halfway and walks with you. "You're in a pretty good mood." You guess you are. "It's been a pretty decent morning." "That's good! We need at least some good energy. Sodo came in here raging ready to pick a fight. Pissed Swiss off almost immediately. " Your brow furrowed. You hadn't noticed the tension when you originally came in, but looking around it's very much present. "I don't know what his problem is lately but he's been getting worse and worse." Aurora continued. He had been. Even your time together he had been. You knew things weren't great but had you really turned a blind eye to how bad he was being? What is his deal? All you offer back is a small "I don't know.". "Either way he needs to get his shit together." Swiss chimes in loudly as he walks by. Chancing a look at where Sodo is sitting, you see he's got his eyes locked onto the two of you, looking straight up pissed. "Would you all just shut the fuck up!? You're being fucking annoying and I don't need you talking about me." Your good mood from before dissipated completely. "Dude-" Phantom barely got the word out before you started. "What's your deal? Why are you throwing a temper tantrum today?" Standing he takes a step towards you. "The fuck you mean temper tantrum? You're the problem. You always got to be saying or doing something." "I have no clue what you're on about. How am I the problem? I just fucking got here! I didn't even speak to anyone this morning. So you have no right!"

   You can physically see his anger worsening. "You were literally just fucking talking. What? You think you can get away with anything? Huh?"  "Sodo, knock it off." Swiss tries to interject. You throw your hands out to your side. "For one, I-" You emphasize the I, "only said that I didn't know what crawled up your damn ass. Secondly, is this about me pulling on your tail yesterday? Want me to apologize? Fine, I'm sorry. Happy?" Cumulus tries this time "Guys can we-" Sodo stomps up to you and jabs you in the chest. "No this is about you being a clingy ass bitch. Can never be alone. Always have to have somebody. Getting away with whatever. You always have to have someone holding your hand." His words cut deeper than they ever have. Last night flashes across your mind. Is he tired of you? Is that why he wouldn't let you in? That must be why he's been the way he has with you. You just kept going back not getting the message. It kind of makes sense now. That doesn't stop it from hurting. With his finger still pressed firmly to your chest you bring your hands up and shove him back with a bit of force. Taking a step back you shake your head. "You have no right, Sodo!" You couldn't stop the tears. Nothing he has said has hurt this deeply. Hearing it from someone you care so much about?

   Sodo lunges to get in your face again but Phantom and Rain are quick to grab him. "That's enough!" The voice calls from the door. "What the fuck is this?"  Copia standing there very unimpressed, waits for an answer. "Lovers' quarrel." Swiss gives. Sodo whips his head towards the ghoul shoving the other two off. "We are not lovers. Never have been. " He says it with such finality and it caused the already there hurt to deepen. All you can do is look at him. What were you to him then? All that time. You knew you weren't in a real relationship, but you thought maybe there was something. You were a fool. Wiping your face you take a deep breath. You have stuff to get done and no time to dwell.

-

   After practice, you hang back waiting. Sodo did not. After the room cleared and the door was closed the a tired Copia takes a seat beside you. Silence hangs between you for a short while. Finally, he looks at you. "What is going on my ghuleh?" You study your fingers. "I don't know. We got in a fight." You shrug. "Would you like to talk about it?" Making eye contact you answer. "Not really." "Okie-dokie. Well if you change your mind." You nod again. "Thank you." Leaving the room you're surprised to find Omega, Pebble, Alpha, and Mist waiting outside. "I didn't expect everyone to be waiting. Where are the others?" You chuckle. Omega smiles "They'll catch up later."  As the group turns to head down the hall you notice Sodo leaning on the wall in the opposite direction watching you. His words had hurt. You weren't ready to talk to him. Turning your back on him you follow the group.

--

  Things hadn't been the same since that day, a little over 2 months ago. You and Sodo completely stopped talking outside of group stuff. No longer sought each other out. You had also somewhat pulled back from the rest of the pack as a result. Instead, you had found a place with the Meliora ghouls. You spent more time in their den than in the den you called home. You've built your strongest bonds with Pebble and Omega. Nothing in the romantic sense but in the sense of chosen family. You had never had such a sense of belonging.

    Tonight would be one of the increasingly uncommon nights you would stay in the Imperia den. You were going to have an early morning practice and thought it better to stay in your room. Getting to the den you smell heavily of Omega and Alpha having just left the ghoul pile in favor of going to bed a little early. Everyone minus Phantom and Rain was spread out across the living room when you entered. Cumulus beat everyone to saying anything. "Howdy stranger! What are you up to?"  She pats the seat next to her on the couch. You walk over and flop down between her and Mountain. Sodo was in the corner of the couch about 4 feet away. "Oh, not much. Planned on turning in a bit early. We got an early morning so I figured staying in my room was the best option." You roll your head back on the couch then lean into Mountain, who in turn wraps his arm around your shoulder. "Have a long day?" Cirrus asks from the floor. "Yeah and I practically had to peel Omega and Alpha off-" Suddenly Sodo is off the couch and leaving the room. "-so I could leave the ghoul pile. What's up with him?" You quickly finish and ask. The girls give each other a look. "Have you talked to him lately?" Aurora questions you. "No not really. I mean the occasional comment here and there but other than that not really." You answer. "Have you tried?"  Cumulus now questions. You turn your head to look at her. "No." "Why not?" She presses. "I'm not ready." Cumulus looks above you at Mountain. Mountain squeezes the arm around you. "Maybe you should so he stops moping around and being a dick." Swiss groans from his spot on the love seat.

    He's lying across it with one leg hanging over the back and his arm moving his eyes. "What do you mean moping around?" You inquire. Mountain speaks up. "He's been particularly moody since your fight and it doesn't seem to be getting better anytime soon." You settle further into his side. "Well at this point in pretty sure he resents me so." "I don't think it's that." Aurora tries to assure. "I don't know." You remark. Swiss sits up on the couch and looks at you. "(Y/N)." His voice was somewhat stern. "He's jealous. He has been this whole time." You stop and blink. You don't have to capacity to think about this right now. "I think I need to go to bed." With that, you stand from the couch and wander to your room. Finding your door open it and flip on the light. Stripping off the clothes from the day you shower. Forgoing washing your hair to avoid dry time you dress for bed.

     After about an hour of tossing and turning, you are finally on the edge of sleep. Instantly you are brought back by a knock on your door. You're tempted to ignore it. You wait to see if it'll happen again. Even though it doesn't happen again you roll out of bed. Padding over to the door you pull it open coming face to face who you suspected it to be. "Can I help you?" Silence. He just looks at you, but he doesn't say anything. His expression was unreadable.  "I'm going back to bed." You begin to close the door. He shoots his hand up to stop the motion. "Please don't close the door." You look back at him and scoff. "You know, at least it opened the door." A flash of guilt crosses over his face. "Can I come in?" You can't believe him. "Why would I let you in?" The man who had said horrible things about and to you. The one you let hurt you and you turned a blind eye. You should just shove the door shut and leave him there. Let him walk back to his room alone, yet here you are door still open waiting for him to say something. "I'm sorry." He says softly. You just stare at him. He looks you in the eye this time. "I'm sorry. I don't resent you." He was listening in. "I never meant for things to spiral the way they did. I got scared. I started feeling things I didn't know how to handle. I was afraid of you hurting me. Instead, I hurt us both and pushed you into someone else's arms." You almost laugh. "Okay. Okay. Wait. What do you mean another's arms?" He gives you an unimpressed look. "You reek of Omega most of the time." This time you do laugh. "You can't be serious. Are you?" He looks slightly embarrassed. "What?"  "I do love Omega, yes."  His face falls. "But, not in the way you are convincing yourself." He looks down and back up. "He's been my best friend. Him and Pebble. Especially after you hurt me. Which you did. You hurt me pretty bad." "I know. I'm sorry." "Sorry doesn't make what you did ok." "I know, but if you give me the chance I'd like to restart." You let out a long sigh and studied him. "I really shouldn't." He nods "You're probably right." You sigh again and open the door wider. "Get your ass in here."

  A fanged smile spread across his face and stepped in. "You're sleeping under your own blanket tonight." "I can work with that." You shake your head and close the door. "I'm still mad at you. We have a lot to talk through. " "I know." Crawling back in bed you curl up under your blanket and Sodo drags the extra blanket you keep up into the bed with him. Settling in facing each other you close your eyes. After a moment you open your eyes again to find him staring at you. "What?" You question. A flash of uncertainty and vulnerability can be seen. "I love you."

-------

The next day starts off well. You had slept pretty decent compared to other nights. Rolling out of bed, you begin the day. Stepping out of your room freshly dressed, you start off your Sunday. Dressing for the service you head to join the rest of the clergy in the chapel. It was not frequent that it was held this early in the day. Typically, it's an evening affair. It was posted days earlier that the time had changed, probably to accommodate other business happenings. As you watch Copia deliver the sermon, you can't help but think back to the night prior and the night to come. Your mind wandering. Afterward, you moved on to your normal duties. Cleaning the dens. Slowly but surely, you make your way around, cleaning each common room. The same pick up, clean, put away, and wipe down.

Making it to the Imperia den, always the last, you enter only to stop dead in your tracks. Scanning the room, you try to make note of anything needing attention. While most things were done rather sloppy, they were done. Walking across the room, straightening a blanket on the way you check the kitchen, too. Finding no mess, you're not quite sure what to make of it. You also had yet to see any of the residents of the particular den. Looking at the clock and reading it at ten, you had another two hours. You didn't have that many other chores to do with the rest of the day, so your schedule was rather vacant. Fixing some of the slightly out of place items, you try to think of something to busy yourself with.

Shutting the door behind you as you leave the den, you still were not sure what you wanted to do with the rest of your day. Maybe cleaning your own room. Satan knows it probably needs a touch-up. Cleaning for everyone else can leave you neglecting your own spaces you have learned, though still try to keep them somewhat tidy.

Entering your room, you make a mental checklist to follow. Starting with the floor, you go down the list. Bathroom, bedding change, laundry, then finally organizing your desk. Shifting through the various items you pick up a folder, a piece of paper coming loose in the process. Watching the paper flutter to floor it landing blank side up. Leaning forward in your chair to pick it up, you realize exactly what it is halfway up. Slouching back in your chair, you give a long pause, just absorbing what you're looking at. The paper was old, the edges yellowing and withering a bit as it ages. It's contents a stark reminder of the missing piece in your life. The sketch on the aged paper perfectly captured him as you remember. The boy with purple eyes that took up much of your thoughts.

His lanky limbs and shorter stature. He would be taller now, having surely grown into size. You wonder if his personality changed much in the time you've been separated. You have missed so much of him. You had no doubt he could take care of himself, but as a mother, you should have been there for him. Setting the paper down on your desk, you clasp your hand and look to the ceiling. Closing your eyes, you recall as many memories as you can.

Having lost yourself in your day dreams, you are startled into awareness by a firm knock on your door. Shifting to look at the door, you sigh, trying to tuck your feelings and memories neatly into that little box you've created in your mind. Standing you head to open the the door. Once opened, you met with Sodo's masked self. "You missed lunch." His tone was flat as he eyes you. "What time is it?" "Two in the afternoon." Genuinely surprised by his answer, you truly hadn't realized how much time had passed. "I guess I got busy. Lost track of time." He grunts in response but still studies you. "I'll get something once I'm finished, don't worry." You offer a soft smile. You catch the moment his eyes leave you, taking in the room behind you. "Nah, let's go get something to eat now." It's all he gives before turning around walking away. Watching his retreating form, you let out another sigh and begin to fallow.

Sodo led you straight to the Imperia den. Holding the door for you, he remains quiet. Once both of you were inside, he beelines for the kitchen. Flinging the fridge and the freezer open, he takes in the options. A yellow bag catches your eye. Quick and easy. "Want to share some pizza rolls?" You offer. He looks to the bag before grabbing it. "Pizza rolls it is." Grabbing a plate, he dumps a bunch on it. Shaking the plate, he shoves it in the microwave and punches the numbers in.

You take a seat at the island and rest your chin on your plam. "So what's been happening today?" You asked Sodo. He removes his mask balaclava, long blonde hail tumbling down his back. Setting them on the counter, he turns to face you, leaning on the same counter. He doesn't look to you when he answers. he just picks at his nails. "It's been average. Chores, practice, shit like that." You hum softly. "Well, that good at least it hasn't been a bad day for you." He finally looks to you, putting his hands behind him on the counter. "How about you?" "It's been ok. I got done with the dens earlier. Decided to clean up my own room." You pause a second. "Speaking of dens, your guys den was pretty much done when I got here." He chuckles. "Yeah, the girls thought that we should help out a bit more. Especially with the possibility of you having a later night than usual." He watches you, gauging your reaction. You tilt your head slightly to the side. "What do you mean?" He chuckles again. The microwave let out a beep at the same time. "Oh, come on. We know about the dinner plans. We helped. How did it go?" He moves to pull the plate out.

You smile, looking down. "It was just dinner as friends. There was no late night together or anything, and he ended up being called away. It was fun, tho. I enjoyed it." Setting the plate on the island to let the rolls cool, he continues to eye you. "Mhmm, just friends." You see his tail flick playfully. You giggle. "Truly! Just two friends having dinner." "Well I'm glad you enjoyed it. You deserve something nice." Your smile grows just a little bit wider as you give a mental nod. "So, not trying to break the mood, but are you doing ok?" His question through you off a bit. You weren't sure how to respond to him. Taking a few seconds to think you give him a "I'm ok. Why do you ask?". "Your whole demeanor was a bit off when I came to check on you. I don't know. You just seemed off, I guess." Again, you were left unsure. It was the second time in the last couple days that someone's been genuine in their questioning. You were so use to being unnoticed by others to this extent, something of your own doing. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just, um, found something that reminded me of a long time ago." You hoped this answer would safice.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He reaches for a roll and pops it in his mouth. You reach for one yourself. "No, I think it's ok." He looks at you with the kindest look in his eyes. "Well, if you change your mind, I'll listen. You always listen to us. It's the least I can do." "Thank you, Sodo. Really. I truly appreciate you. All of you."

You both finish eating together, continuing simple conversation. Once finished, Sodo said he needed to help Mountain with a couple of things. Parting ways you return back to your room. Deciding to finish your desk, you put the sketch back in the folder.

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After grabbing dinner, you decide to head to the garden early. Heading towards Primo's old green house, you just take it in. You had been taking care of it since he's been gone. You spend a lot of time in this specific part of the garden. The siblings and the occasional ghoul work in the garden too, but tend to leave the green house be. It was just kind of an unspoken rule that it was essentially yours now. Grabbing the necessary items, you begin caring for the plants. Weeding, watering, and talking to them. Primo always said in helps them grow and stay healthy.

Eventually, the sun started to set, so you decided to stop for the day. Standing you take your gloves and brush off the best you can. Putting everything away, you go to sit on your newly placed bench and wait. The minutes tick by without a sign of the man. Looking to the sun, you see the sunset almost gone. You try to think back. You were fairly certain that he had said before dark. Maybe you are just being impatient. Fiddling with a fray in your shirt, you wait some more. The sky continues to darken with nothing. Your doubt begins to take root in your brain. What if he doesn't show up at all. He does have a ton going on. He could just be busy. You had seen the amount of papers that littered his office. That was only a portion of his duties as Papa. More time passes with your wait, baring no fruit, early night having fallen. You decide to make the trek back to your room, feeling the slightest bit dejected.

Once there, you press your back to the door, slide down, and take a couple of deep breaths. Feeling the sting of tears begin to form, you feel stupid for hoping. You're not sure where to go from here. Tired of being alone but being afraid of the hurt. It's a monster of your own making. You know this. You had tried, and you now feel the hurt. You know he is busy. He probably has a perfectly reasonable explanation. He doesn't owe you anything. You are a ghoul living in the abbey, and he is Papa. Knowing this doesn't stop you from feeling the bite of rejection. You bring your knees to your chest, grip your tail, and cry.

About 15 minutes into you wallowing in your self pity a knock sound on the door at your back. Jumping slightly, you quickly wipe off the remainder of your tears. Standing, you blow out a slow breath and compose yourself. Opening the door with a smile, you are met with the sight of Copia holding one of the bottles from yesterday. He is without his papal paints, his eyes looking more tired than usual. He looks wore all the way around. The first thing he noticed when you opened the door was your red and puffy eye, making him feel worse. "Fiore mio mi dispiace tanto. I had not meant to be so late." You could see the guilt he wore so openly on his face. You felt silly for feeling so upset. "Copia, you have nothing to be sorry about. I know you are busy, man. I understand that." He shakes his head. "No. I told you I'd be there and I wasn't. I cannot promise it won't happen again, but I will try my hardest to never let this happen." You give him a nod.

"It's ok, really. I understand." He smiles at you, looking down to the bottle and the back to you. "If it's not too late, would you like to share this with me?" "I would love that." You agree. "Would you like to, em, go my office, or the garden," He pauses, looking down bashfully. "Or even my room." He glances back up to gauge your reaction. "It's completely up to you. I want you to be comfortable, il mio fiore." "I gladly join you wherever you want to go. I'm not picky. You do look tired, so if you would like we could go to your room of office." You gentle offer.

Copia had decided on his room, agreeing to being quiet tired, but still wanting to spend time with you. You had changed into comfortable clothes and met him in the hall. "Ready, il mio fiore?" You offer a yes in reply. The trek across the abbey from the dens to Copia's room had been done in a comfortable silence. He held the door open for you, fallowing you in. "I'm am sorry for the mess. I normally don't have others in here." You take in your surroundings. The room was quite large. A couch and TV on one end and a large bed on the other. The bed was left unmade, and the room had various cluttered areas, but altogether felt homie and lived in. "It's really no problem at all, Copia." You move to stand in the middle, still looking around. He gestures to the well loved couch. "Ehm, would you like to, uh, sit. On the couch with me?" Smiling, you shuffle around the small coffee table and take a seat. Bringing your tail into your lap as you look to him. He hurriedly sits next to you with a healthy distance between.

Suddenly, the bottle became increasingly interesting to Copia. Fiddling with the corner of the label. "Um, maybe I should find us some glasses." Just as quickly as he had sat, he was back to standing. Rummaging in a small cart against the wall, he produces two crystal glasses along a bottle opener and sets them on the coffee table. "Okie-dokie. Not as fancy as wine glasses." Reclaiming his spot on the cushions, he opens the bottle. Pouring some of the dark colored liquid into each glass, he hands you one. "Thank you." You bring the glass to your lips and savor the slightly bitter taste of the red wine. "How was your day, Copia?" You attempted to spark conversion. "It was pretty typical. Organized and unorganized chaos. Tons of people down my throat. It is.... never ending. At least the service went well today, with everything. " He makes a motion with his hand to emphasize his statement. "What of you, mi flor?" He takes a sip from his own glass. "My day was fairly uneventful. The ghoul dens were pretty easy to clean. Your ghouls specifically had done most of the work for me. Sodo said it was to make my day easier because of a "potential long night"." You let out a giggle, relaxing back in the couch. "After that, I cleaned my own space, found a couple things that I hadn't seen for quite a while. Had lunch with Sodo. Gardened. That's about it for me."

That's more than you would normally say, but after your small meltdown, you think it's about time you actually start letting a small group of others in. Baby steps.

The corner of his mouth quirks up. A comfortable silence falls over the two of you. Both content to sip from your glasses and just be. Copia just observes you for a couple moments. He seems to gather some courage to break the silence. "I am truly sorry about not meeting you in the garden." His tone serious but still soft. When you meet his mismatched eyes, they hold a level of sincerity you had not been expecting. "I, uh, I'm not going to make excuses for my tardiness." Holding his gaze you start. "Its okay, I un-" He cuts you off before you can continue. He turns his body to face you more, his voice steady and firm. "But it's not okay. I saw the hurt it caused you. Nothing will change the fact that I was not there. Im not making excuses, and I don't need you to make them for me." He inhales deeply. "Being Papa is a big position, yes, but it doesn't put me above keeping my word." You were taken aback by his little outburst. Something pinches in your chest. He was just as distressed by him not being there as you were. This isn't the Copia you've been used to. The Copia you have grown to know over they years was extremely awkward and hesitant in a way. Not that you really actually knew him, but he has definitely grown more confident in himself as Papa.

You nod and slowly begin again. "Copia, you are important. Your role here is important. Things happen. You had things going on. Matters that I'm sure needed your attention." He opens his mouth to interjected again, looking a little less sure of himself. Holding up a hand, you effectively stop him. "I know your role here demands a lot from you. You don't owe any of us, the ghouls and the siblings as a whole, anything outside of what you already do for us. Yes, I was upset. I have my own my own set of issues to work through. It was not all your fault. I accept your apology." You can physically see him relax. It was as if the weight on his shoulders started crumbling a little at a time. "I will try my hardest not to let it happen again. If it does, I'll come find you when I can." You smile and send a wink playfully his way. "I'm holding you to that, Copia." He cracks a smile and looks to the glass insulator his hand. "You know," He looks back up to make eye contact. "Your advice from the other day goes both ways. You can ask for help. You don't have to go through your struggles alone. You have resources. " He holds his breath as he waits for you to respond to him.

He's right. It's part of what you've been fighting with yourself over. Letting others in. Feeling alone. Not having anyone to lean on for a long while. Not since Primo. It's been 5 years. In the grand scheme of your life, it was a blip. It feels like an eternity when you feel truly alone. Even when he was here, it was really only him at that point. Others having come and gone just the same, but he was a constant for 30 years. The strong friendship having formed in his late 20s. Probably the strongest you'd ever had, and here was his youngest brother. Lending a similar shoulder. You sure weren't going to waste it.

You let out a sigh and give a nod. "I suppose you're right. I just have a hard time." You give pause. "If you are willing to listen." The man before you give a soft nod, offering no words. "When you brother died, I felt so much devastation. He was my person." Copia felt really pain in his chest. The guilt unimaginable. They died because of him. So he could ascend to Papa. "I was lost. I was angry. I felt like he was stolen from me. I had never given it a second thought that one day, he wouldn't be there. I had to come to the realization that he was not as untouchable as I thought he was." You feel the sting of tears for the second time tonight. You continue to pour into him. "He was human. I'm not. And that's hurt. At that point, I'd had two very important figures in my life. I didn't want it to happen again." You wipe at the first set of tears to fall and look to the side. Copia remains unmoving, just taking in every word you spill. "I didn't want to feel the loss and pain that came with it. So I closed up. I was still kind but did my best to keep everyone at arms length. I keep my quintessince on a tight leash. I don't want to feel anyone else's emotions or affect anyone with it. Ghouls and humans alike. If no one got close, the chances of feeling that way were slim. But that presented challenges of its own." You wipe your face again. "I feel alone." You turn eyes back to him. You are met with eyes that held so many emotions.

The silence overtakes you again, but the eye contact never breaks. He finally moves. Setting down his glass, he brings his hands up to rid you of a few stray tears. He rests his hands on your cheeks. "You don't have to be." His voice is so soft it is barely audible. He brushes a few strands of hair out of your face. More tears streak down your face. It has been so unbearable easy to open up to him. "I'm scared." The corner of his mouth pulls taught. "It's ok to be scared. I'm scared all the time. I was scared to become Papa. Ho sempre paura di deludere tutti. I am scared of what my future holds." He let's go of your face and grabs his glass and the bottle. Topping off both glasses, he raises his own. "To being scared -" You decide then and hesitantly raise your glass. "Together." The clinking of the glasses sounds through the room. "Together." You whisper back. In that moment, a bond was formed. One you weren't entirely sure you were ready for, but there was no going back now.

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After the toast, you shared memories of Primo and his brothers with Copia. You had started to really get to know him and his personality before you both eventually fell asleep on the couch. The next morning, you both scrambled to get to your respective duties.

That was 3 days ago. Copia sought you out every night after. Both of you talking about the day and the past. Tonight was no different. A movie played, the volume turned down low. You lay into the back cushions with your legs drawn up and your tail flicking lazily. Copia was slouched back with his arms above his head. He turns his head towards you, calling out softly. "Hey, il mio fiore, I was thinking." You turn to face him. "Whats up?" You could tell he was nervous. "I would like for you to be there, eh, tomorrow." You continue you look at him, your face one of confusion. Tomorrow? "At the summoning of the new ghoul." Oh.

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Ho sempre paura di deludere tutti - im always scared of disappointing everyone.