#gggb

“why did you need to come early today?” you asked, letting taehyung in after his call you received five minutes ago, telling you that he was gonna be there early because the two of you needed to do something. 

“the party were going to tonight is a themed party, it’s a couple outfit thing.” taehyung explains, plopping down onto your couch. 

you nod, getting it. “couple outfit? so you like match?” 

“yeah.” he says, playing with the red tie around his neck that is not tied correctly. 

“do you know what josh is wearing? should i match him?” you asked, keeping up appearances so that taehyung doesn’t catch on to the fact that you’re beginning to think that you’re catching feelings for him. 

“uh— here’s the plan actually.” taehyung leans forward and rests his elbows on his thighs. “you’re going to match with me, he already thinks that we have a thing since we’ve been seen together at almost every party and then— if everything goes to plan— he’ll get even more jealous, take the hint, and finally come up and make an actual move on you.” 

“ah, you’re right!” you tell him, messing up his already messed up hair. “you’re great at this, ever thought about opening up a wingman business?” 

“that’s gross.” taehyung laughs, fixing his disheveled hair. “i’m only doing this for you because i feel bad for you.” 

“whatever.” you rolled your eyes. “so what’s the theme we’re going for?” 

taehyung smirks, playing with his tie. “preppy kids.” 

you look him up and down, you should have known better when taehyung walked in with light brown khaki pants, a white button up shirt, and a plaid red tie. kim taehyung wouldn’t wear that, not if he had a choice. “this is preppy to you?” you snorted. 

“now it’s your turn to critique my style, huh?” he smirks, standing from the couch and moving to your room. “so what’s the outfit today?” 

he immediately goes to your closet, sifting through the hangers to find something that would fit the theme. taehyung’s grown comfortable enough to know that you wouldn’t reprimand him if he just looked through your closet, especially since that’s what he’s been doing lately to help you with your outfits. but since this theme is right up your alley, you pull him away from your closet and make him sit down on your desk chair. 

“sit back and watch a pro do it, kim.” you press a finger into his chest. 

“you gotta match, remember.” he tells you, lifting his tie once more and waving it in the air.  

you give him a thumbs up. “i’ve got the perfect plaid red skirt for that.” 

after about ten minutes rummaging in your closet for the red skirt you were thinking about, you got it on. you had your full outfit and did a whole 360 twirl for taehyung. see, this was your strong point. preppy— whatever they call it, you love it! and you look good in it. 

“what do you think?” you smiled, twirling around. 

if taehyung was honest— you looked fucking hot. 

white knee socks, red plaid skirt that was a little shorter than usual (apparently you haven’t worn it in a couple of years), white button up that's only buttoned enough to barely cover your tits, and then a black cardigan that rests perfectly against your white button up. 

“cute,” is all he says. despite way too many thoughts running through his mind. your confidence is obvious right now, from the way you’re looking at him and the way you carry yourself in general— this was up your alley, and that’s exactly why taehyung chose it. 

you gasp, “oh my god? is that a compliment from the fashion icon, kim taehyung?”

“this is your specialty, right?” he says, spinning your chair to and fro. “you know better than anyone how good you look.” 

you gulp at the compliment, your cheeks immediately turning pink. “thank you.” you smiled. 

after that, he stands up from your swivel chair and plops onto your bed, letting you take your time to put your makeup on at your vanity but reminding you that you had to leave in about thirty minutes. you keep that in mind as your hands work their magic, muscle memory working for you as you apply your regular makeup. just as you’re about to apply your pink lipgloss, for some reason— you’re thinking about kissing. what if lip gloss is too sticky? will they care? what if you make out with josh tonight? oh, god— you don’t even know how to make out with someone. 

kissing someone is probably the last thing you should be thinking about right now, you’re not even sure josh is gonna talk to you tonight. it’s hard not to think about it though, especially when you’ve been wondering for about five years to know what it’s like to kiss that person. so you decide lip gloss is fine tonight. while you’re applying the sticky substance to your lips, you wonder out loud, “is making out with someone awkward? does lip gloss add onto the awkward-ness?” 

“what?” taehyung snorts. “you’ve never done it?” 

you’re silent as you screw the cap back onto your gloss. the silence was enough of an answer. 

taehyung really can’t believe it. he knows you aren’t a virgin, the two of you have had this talk already— so why don’t you know what it’s like to make out with someone? “are you serious? you lost your virginity without making out with someone?” 

“well… yeah, we kissed but i don’t think it counts as a make out?” you answered, turning in your chair so you could face him. “it was nothing like what they do in porn or like in movies.” 

“explain it to me, was it a pucker kiss?“ he asks, sitting up. “or was it like—” he puckers his lips with his mouth slightly open, “— was it wet?” 

“no,” you shake your head. “it was like multiple—“ you smooch quickly, showing taehyung what you remember from your disaster of the scene that was the loss of your virginity. 

“you’ve got to be kidding me.” taehyung exasperates. running his hands over his face. “how are you gonna make out with josh without humiliating yourself?!” 

“i don’t know!” you flushed, your face turning bright red. 

another silence takes over, neither of you exactly knowing what to say after that. and there’s a thought in your mind that won’t shut up. you’re curious and taehyung knows when you’re holding something back. you look like a pot that’s about to boil over. so you decide to speak up. “can you teach me how?” 

you almost regret it immediately after you suggested it.

taehyung jerks his head towards you, eyebrows furrowed and everything. “teach you how to make out?” 

you nod innocently, “yeah— i mean only if you want.” 

taehyung acts like it would be a nuisance, but really, he’s curious as to how your lips would feel against his. he wonders if you can see right through him when he asks, “you’re kidding, right?”

but in the way that you blush and break eye contact with him, he knows that you’re as nervous as he is right now. “i am if you don’t want to.” 

“you so, so owe me.” he ends the inner fight within himself. he kisses girls all the time, so this should be a piece of cake. it’s just you. it’s you. “turn your head towards me and close your eyes.” 

you turn your body towards him instead of just your head, thinking it’ll be more comfortable. sitting still, you close your eyes and wait for taehyung to make a move. but after a minute, nothing happened. so you open your right eye slightly, watching as taehyung smiles and laughs quietly in front of you. he just couldn’t help it. you just looked so cute. 

opening your eyes, you unpucker your lips and reprimand him. “hey!” you laughed, shoving his shoulder slightly. 

“sorry,” he smiles. “i’ll do it now.” 

backing away slightly, laughing nervously. “you know what? i was just kidding—!” 

“shut up.” he says before his lips plant themselves onto yours. 

his lips are soft. that’s the first thing you can think about. he’s warm and gentle. not like how they make out in movies, that super intense makeout? no, this wasn't that— or at least, it wasn’t that yet. but for now, his plush lips fit against yours in a way that makes your heart flutter. 

“start slow, just a lot of simple pecks.” taehyung pulls away slightly to say, you keep your eyes squeezed shut. your lips are in a tight pucker and it’s just so obvious that you haven’t done this before. “need you to relax,” taehyung laughs. pulling back a little further and watching as your face gently unfurls. you open your eyes to see the mesmerizing being that is kim taehyung in front of you. “just go with the flow,” he prompts. 

you nod, eager to get it right and earn a compliment from him. you push back onto him, taking both you and him by surprise. pressing too hard and kissing too fast, taehyung can only laugh against your lips before he pulls back. “slower?” you asked, blinking at him. 

he nods, “a lot slower.” 

this time you let him take charge, his lips gently slot against yours. you try to relax against him, try to make sure you don’t get too tight. you just tried not to think too much about it, tried to forget that you’re you and that the lips pressed against yours are taehyung’s. so his lips move against yours, one kiss turning into three, then three turns into the two of you finding a nice pace. 

the kisses felt so nice. you haven’t kissed someone in so long, and you’ve never been kissed this well, this thoughtfully. an involuntary noise comes out of your throat, it sounded like a whimper. you were embarrassed for two seconds until you felt taehyung’s hand on your cheek, tugging you in closer. multiple kisses lead to his tongue swiping over your bottom lip, ever so gently. 

“as for lip gloss,” he speaks against your lips. you pull back slightly and feel the sticky gloss try to keep your lips together. taehyung doesn’t let you get too far though, only letting you pull back enough to provide space for his finger to run against your bottom lip. “i don’t mind it.” he says, smearing the gloss, “but that’s just me.”

before letting his hand move, you let your tongue jut out. his gloss covered thumb running against it for a second, surprising him. once he got the hint, he decided to go all in. dipping his thumb into your mouth as you wrap your lips around the digit. the look on his face and the noise he let out was all the more reason that you felt the fire ignite inside of you once more. 

“i bet josh would love that.” taehyung tells you, pulling you back in and resuming the kiss. with another involuntary noise leaving your lips, you allow him to explore. after that, it’s like going with the flow. taehyung eases you into each and every step slowly, never rushing. even though you don’t know exactly how to go about things, you don’t feel pressured to be perfect in this. 

you blame the comfortability for the way that you crawl over his lap. your body seemingly magnetized to him. not even realizing what you were doing until you felt his thighs under yours when you sat down, that’s when he pulled away ever so slightly. his eyes gazing directly into yours as he asks for permission— reassurance that this was okay. 

a curt nod is the only thing you can give him because you’re back onto his lips within that second. you can feel him smile against your lips. your arms wrap around his neck and he selfishly takes it all, the way that your fingers start to run through his hair and the way that you’re ever so slightly rubbing yourself against him. he basks in the misplaced love. his head spinning as he realizes kissing you is way better than he imagined. 

you disconnect from him, your voice snapping him out of the trance he was in. “is it—“ you gasp against his lips, “is it supposed to feel this good?” 

taehyung inches further away, your sticky lips separating from his as he nods. “if you like it, yeah.” 

you look him in the eye, you can’t get enough of him. “am i doing okay?” 

“you’re doing good,” he praises. somehow his deep voice knocks the out of your lungs, the feeling in your stomach feels familiar. 

but as soon as that feeling hits you, the pang of guilt hits taehyung. knowing that your feelings are being misplaced because you’re thinking of another guy while you’re kissing him for practice. taehyung’s falling in love, meanwhile you’re getting further away. at least, that’s what taehyung thinks. 

so he pushes himself away before this could get any further than it was. “i think that’s— this is enough,” he says. 

“right—“ you nod, pulling yourself off of him quickly. “right.” 

it’s embarrassing how into that you were. taehyung is a gorgeous guy, great person to talk to, and he’s an amazing kisser. is there anything that this man can’t do? crap, gotta add that to the list too. 

reasons that people (…maybe me) would fall in love with kim taehyung: 

is courteous

opened the car door for me :) 

gives girls rides home when their plan to woo a guy goes awol

gives people shelter in the cold when their heart needs protecting from dumb actions 

he let me stay in his car instead of waiting out in the cold when i was being sad about josh. 

is a photography prodigy

i was looking through his instagram. it’s like a photography blog’s goldmine. landscape shots, portrait shots of his friends, in b&w, some look like they’re taken on film, it just had a mix of everything. 

has a pretty smile. 

is that a weird thing to note? his teeth are like, perfect and his smile makes me feel… i don’t know… weird. i think someone could fall in love at the sight of his smile. 

is a great dancer, and a great dance teacher(?)

i’ve never danced with someone at a party before, he taught me how to properly dance with someone without making me feel uncomfortable :) 

is courteous pt. 2! 

held all my bags for me while we were shopping and basically paid for the entire mall trip. 

tries to cheer people up when they’re down 

he suggested to get ice cream after a particularly heavy talk we had in the car. for some reason it made my heart lurch. it was really sweet. 

he makes me feel beautiful. 

i think he likes it when i smile. that makes me feel like the prettiest girl in the world. 

is a sweet, gentle kisser. 

we kissed and i think that was the closest i’ve ever felt to what others would say is a high. drugs aren’t my thing but if it feels like that? then i understand why. i want to kiss him again. and again. and again. i understand now. 

it’s safe to say you looked a bit of a mess, your lipgloss is equally distributed amongst both yours and taehyung’s lips and your hair is unruly in some parts. after wiping off your lipgloss with his thumb, he licks his lips and tastes the slight flavor of strawberry. of course, it wouldn’t be cherry. 

meanwhile, you’re sitting still. still in shock of what just ensued. “earth to ___?” taehyung snaps you out of your trance. 

“yes?” you perked up. 

“i asked if we’re still good…?” 

“like if we’re still friends?” 

taehyung shrugs, “yeah.” 

“of course!” you nod frantically, “wait, we are, right?” 

“yeah,” he chuckles. “we’re fine.” 

“okay,” you sighed in relief. “should we go now?” 

taehyung laughs. pointing to your lips, both of you sporting very shiny and sticky lips. “should we get cleaned up first?” 

“oh, yeah, totally.” you laughed, touching your lips mindlessly. remembering how taehyung felt against them. 

while taehyung washes up in the bathroom, you move to your room and reapply your makeup properly. the two of you reconvene in the hallway, “ready now?” you asked. 

a few parts of hair hang in front of your face, it looks out of place compared to the rest of your hair which is down and pinned. so as taehyung answers your question with a nod, he does you a favor as well. tucking the stray hairs behind your ear. you can spot a small smile on his face when he says, “there, perfect, now we can go.” 

you can hear your heartbeat in your ears. the thump of the organ so dramatically pulsing against your ribs. it made it feel like it was rising into your throat. so you couldn’t say anything. 

with the awkward silence passing by, taehyung clears his throat and the two of you move through the living room and to the front door. leaving your apartment to get to the party of the semester. 

the two of you make it to the party in almost perfect timing— by the time you get there, everyone else starts arriving as well. 

the two of you greet a couple friends— taehyung’s friends, nayeon and seolhyun, seunghee, even junghwa and her boyfriend! it seemed like everyone came out to play tonight. 

“lookin’ fuckin’ bangin’, baby!” nayeon shouts as she makes her way towards you. eyeing yours and taehyung’s matching outfits as she raises her eyebrows to you. “so what’s the plan tonight? should i expect you to leave with me tonight? or…?” she smirks. 

you shrugged, “we’ll see where the night takes us!” with a smile, nayeon tells you to just relax and have fun. you try your best to shake off this weird feeling, one that makes you want to get closer and closer to taehyung despite being here for josh. 

in your bout of thinking, taehyung’s already made it a few steps in front of you. he realizes that you’re doing the thing again, thinking way too hard. so he snaps you out of it, asking, “wanna dance?” 

you gulped. “yeah! why not?” you laughed nervously. “can we take a shot first?” 

taehyung laughs, nodding as he leads you to the alcohol counter. which once again, you find jimin and the rest of taehyung's friends at. “there she is!” jimin hollers, “and she’s lookin’ fuckin’ good!” 

a slight blush rushes over your face but you remember what taehyung told you. it’s about confidence. a little twirl and a wink goes a long way, you even see taehyung raise his brows in disbelief. “i am looking cute tonight, aren’t i?”

“hell yeah!” jimin smiles, handing you a shot. “bottoms up, pretty girl!” 

downing the shot, you always, always forget a chaser. you could say you were hardcore, if you didn’t always pull a face after you drink. taehyung only laughs as he hands you a can of coke to sip. “one more?” taehyung asks. 

you shake your head, not wanting to willingly take another shot. one shot was enough for your confidence booster anyway. “let’s dance now!” you tell him, pulling him to the floor where sweaty bodies were grinding against each other. 

“you remember what to do?” taehyung asks even though this isn’t your first rodeo. 

“of course, i do!” you shout, feeling the rhythm and just having fun. the upbeat edm song ends and the dj expertly transitions it into an upbeat sensual song, one that you’re able to sway your hips to. 

“guess my dance lessons worked then.” he smirks behind you, easily following your moves as you feel the rhythm. you could feel your confidence seeping out of you. 

“yeah? i’m the best dancer now, right?” you smiled as you turned towards him, giving him those eyes that he taught you to use. 

you can see the way that he licks his lips as he makes that prolonged eye contact with you. “i wouldn’t say that…” he chuckles lowly. 

taehyung’s hands try to be as courteous as they can be, only ever slightly touching your body to maintain the— or moreso, the lack of— distance between your bodies. 

every now and then, you can feel him gently tug your skirt down, knowing that it rides up every few moves. his hands were just so close to sensitive areas. you couldn’t help being in heat— it’s fucking kim taehyung, for fucks sake! the tension between the two of you is so thick, the heat your bodies are swapping is almost too intimate for a party dance floor. you’re not sure if you want it to end. 

but sadly enough, the song ends and in order to maintain this only friends and business partners type relationship, the two of you pull away. with just enough time for a certain someone to sweep in and distract you from where you actually want to be. 

you can see the familiar build walking up to you from a few feet away, “___? can i steal you for a sec?” josh comes up to you. taehyung’s eyes focus on him and the way his eyes are fixed on your tits. taehyung’s no better, but he can’t make it less obvious? it makes him cringe. 

but you look at him, changing taehyung’s gaze from josh to you. he feels better, your face is like a cleanser— he completely forgot about the cheeseball right next to you. your eyebrows are raised and you’re asking him what you should do. 

of course, taehyung pushes you to him. telling you to talk to him through his body language. but just as you’re walking away, he pulls your arm gently and whispers in your ear, “good luck, remember what i taught you.”

you nod, giving him a smile as you disappear in the sea of people. the two of you make it through the crowd and into a less crowded room. there’s still people and it’s still a little loud from the walls being way too thin and the bass coming through, but it’s not as chaotic as the rest of the house. 

he leans against the wall since there were no places to sit and he takes told of your hand. gently stroking it as he starts to talk. “you look nice.” he tells you as he pulls you a little closer. 

despite your confusing feelings, you still blush, feeling something similar to what you felt with taehyung earlier, but it didn’t feel as big. which is so fucking weird. this is the guy you’ve been crushing and chasing after for the longest time— yet, the butterflies aren’t the same as they were with taehyung. 

“thank you.” you tell him, smiling ever so slightly to produce that seductive look. taking taehyung’s advice seriously. 

“reverting back to the old you, huh? you brought out the outfit and everything?” josh teases, toying with the hem of your skirt. 

you laughed, “just for tonight, it’s cute, right?” 

he scrunches his nose, “you looked hotter in that instagram post— the one where you’re wearing those shorts,” he pushes closer to you and gently touches your thigh. “and that tank top.” 

you hated that post. 

you tried not to think of it too much. but you really hated how you looked in that post. it didn’t feel like you. more like a doll of you that you dressed up and posed. you hated it. 

but you tried to smile and continue the conversation. “really?” 

“yeah, but you’re still hot.” he shrugged, trying to pull you even closer. you were already close enough to be touching, any closer than you’d basically be grinding up on him. which is obviously what he probably wants. 

“thanks.” you tried to say it nicely, but there was a little bit of a scoff that came out once you said it. 

josh licks his lips, “can i kiss you, baby?” 

you can’t help but cringe a little bit when he calls you that nickname. but you’ve been waiting for this moment since you were fifteen. there was no way you were turning this down. your confusing feelings be damned! you swear after this kiss maybe everything will change back to how it was! before kim taehyung came and shifted things for you. before you realized all the red flags. before everything! 

“okay,” you nodded, leaning closer in. your lips finally connecting. 

the first thing that you notice is that it was so cold. you couldn’t even tell if he was kissing you or if he made you look stupid and you ended up kissing the wall. but lo and behold, when you open your eye a bit to check, he’s there, smushed up against your face. but why was it so cold? maybe he was drinking something cold before. you don’t know, but it just felt weird. his lips feel freezing. like they’re not supposed to be against yours. like sandpaper or something. it just doesn’t feel right. then he tried to stick his tongue in, without even waiting a couple seconds for the first kiss to settle in, he did it immediately. it was gross. if you were being honest. when taehyung did it, it was slow, sensual, and he was patient. now, when josh tries it, it just feels rushed, too much at one time. 

so you pull away.

it didn’t change anything. 

josh smirks to himself, biting his lip as he asks. “so wanna get out of here?” 

he’s starting to get on your last nerve at this point. but you do your best to entertain him, this entire thing is starting to turn you off.  “to do what? like hang out?” you asked. 

his greasy smirk still painted on his lips, “yeah, if you know what i mean.” 

you try to resist rolling your eyes. you have a bad feeling about this, so you try to turn him down gently. “my friends might get worried.” you make an excuse, taking out your phone and pretending to check your texts, when in actuality, you’re sending an sos to taehyung. 

[12:01 am] you: sos taehyung 

[12:01 am] you: interrupt our conversation 

[12:02 am] you: i’m uncomfy 

“i’m sure they won’t mind.” he steps closer. 

“i’m sure they will!” you pulled back. 

taehyung saw your texts immediately, standing up and pulling seunghee with him. telling her the plan in record time as the two of them find you and josh standing in the kitchen. taehyung can see you look uncomfortable, your arms are wrapped around your waist and your legs are twisted. “hey, pretty girl.” seunghee interlaces her arm with yours, with a wink she tells you, “taehyung is waiting for us.” 

her head turns to look at taehyung, consequently making both you and josh look his way. he nods his head, signaling for you to go over to him and you can hear josh scoff. 

“ah— going with taehyung again?” josh raises a brow. 

you turn your head back to look at him, “is that a problem?” 

“only that he sleeps around with a different girl every night.” he shrugs. “don’t you have standards, ___? i thought you were better than that.” 

“you’re kidding, right, josh?” you laughed dryly.

“why would i be kidding? only sluts hang around manwhores,” he spits. 

“didn’t you just want to take me home?” you raised your brows. “but now, i’m a slut because i rejected you?” 

“you chose to be a slut when you chose to go with kim taehyung instead of me.” he tells you in a matter of fact tone, as if what was coming out of his mouth was coherent. 

you scoff, “what a fucking idiot.” loud enough for everyone to hear as you and seunghee walk away. 

“he’s a dick.” seunghee pulls you closer and holds onto your arm, “you can do so much better— i mean so much better.” 

a sour taste lingers in your mouth. you’re not sure if it was josh’s breath or the fact that you wasted so much energy on this guy that proved himself to be the exact opposite of what you imagined him to be. “what was i thinking?” you groan quietly. 

the two of you meet taehyung in the middle of the hallway, he can feel the difference in mood. “let’s get some fresh air.” he offers, telling you to walk with him. 

seunghee walks with you a little bit longer, her hand rubbing your back every once in a while. you can hear her friends calling out her name, and you tell her you’ll be fine. she nods, “i’ll see you guys later.” you give her a smile and wave as she makes her way over. 

both you and taehyung step out of the stuffy house. the air instantly refreshing you and making your mind clear, once again reminding you that you were so dumb for doing this. all of this. for a guy. you didn’t want to admit it, but obviously after the damage is done— there’s nothing left to do than to tell the truth. 

“so that was dramatic.” taehyung breaks your train of thought, pulling that lollipop out of his mouth. 

“that was terrible.” you huff. 

“did my advice work at least?” 

“it did, we made out.” you sighed. 

it’s safe to say that the opening for josh is permanently closed. that conversation proved to you that he’s nothing like how you imagined him to be. he was quite the complete opposite. 

“sorry he turned out to be a dickhead.” taehyung laughs. you laugh too. what else can you do? 

“sorry for wasting so much of your time,” you sighed. 

“i could care less.” taehyung does that stupid, infamous shrug. he looks like he’s gonna ask you something else, but he decides to keep quiet for now. let you collect your feelings and breathe in the cold, clean air since you’ve been suffocating in that hot, dirty house. 

you feel like you’re going to cry. you were so wrong about someone. you did so much to get their attention, and then they ended up being… such a bad match? you should have listened to nayeon. you should have listened to taehyung. you should have listened to everyone!

taehyung knows you’re beyond upset right now. after hearing what josh just said to you, anyone would be reasonably upset and angry. he just can’t stand to see the way that you take your bottom lip between your teeth and try not to cry. 

“want me to punch him?” taehyung asks, half joking and half serious. trying to make you laugh but also asking for permission to do something he’s wanted for a while. 

you laughed, your watery eyes letting a teardrop. you sniffle, wiping away the tears before taehyung could. “no, no.” you tell him. “you’re gonna get in trouble.” 

“i’m sure i’d be doing a lot of people a favor.” he shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “plus, i hate slutshamers.” 

“no, it’s alright.” you shake your head. “if you wanna punch him on your own accord, by all means go ahead, but if you’re gonna do it for me, then no.” 

taehyung bites his lip, stuck between running back into the house and giving josh a good sucker punch, or staying here with you and helping you feel better. 

but when taehyung watches you shiver in the cold night, he decides that he can always punch josh another time. you need someone to comfort you now, and he’ll let himself be that person tonight. anything to make you feel better. 

“wanna get food then?” he suggests. 

you pouted, “food sounds good right now.” 

“let’s go then,” he walks ahead of you towards the car. every now and then looking back at you and the way that you’re dragging your feet against the concrete. 

part of you is kind of relieved that you can finally get over this five year long crush but your expectations were really shattered. your entire view on a whole person was changed because of a conversation. your attraction (despite it dwindling) for someone was ruined because you’re an idiot and thought he was more than what he was. but you should be thankful or something, that you didn’t push it any further with him— seeing way too many red flags pop up, it was almost impossible for you not to realize how much of a douche he really is. 

while you were thinking, taehyung had pulled into a drive-thru and already ordered. he was watching as you brood out the window. the energy in the car was getting sucked out every second. 

“here,” he plops the bag onto your lap. “eat a fry or something, you’re sucking the life out of this car.” 

“i’m sorry.” you pull a fry out of the bag. “it just really didn’t go the way i expected it to.” 

taehyung shrugs. “maybe that’s how life wanted it to go.” 

“what do you mean?” 

“you’re not meant for each other, simple.” he says. “plus you imagined an entire person in your head— sure, he’s a dick, but it’s not his fault that you dreamed him up to be the perfect guy.” 

you sighed. he was right. “i just wanna be sad about it right now.” 

“suit yourself,” he eats a fry. “take your time.” 

god, you hated how much taehyung was the perfect ratio of mean and nice. it was such a push and pull— how you felt about him. part of you knows not to fall for him, you know you’re smarter than that. but another part of you is curious, what is it like to be liked by kim taehyung? would you feel like a goddess? would you feel… loved? 

you really wanted to know. 

conflicting feelings, the night drive, and taehyung’s playlist all mix together to create the most melancholic car ride you’ve ever had with him. you were one more song from bursting into tears, and it was so bad that you didn’t really even say a proper goodbye to taehyung before bolting out of his car. a meek, “see you” is all that he got. 

but he understands. you’re hurt, you’re confused, and you’re just disappointed that the guy you thought was gonna be the one, ended up being a dumbass. he gets it. so once again, (he hopes it isn’t the last time) he waits for you to get inside the complex safely before he drives away. even waiting a minute or so after, just in case. 

when all is quiet, he pulls away and hopes that you’ll feel better. maybe he’ll finally text you tonight. 

meanwhile, tears were streaming down your face by the time that you opened your apartment complex door, you didn’t even know why you were crying, but it felt right. the warm tears meeting your makeup caked cheeks, your mascara is probably running along with it. 

only to find out that your keycard is nowhere to be found. rummaging around your bag, you look through each little hole, slit, your wallet, every little crevice. nothing. fuck. you probably left it in taehyung’s car somehow. or maybe you left it in your room when you were switching bags. fuck. that’s probably where it is. safe and sound, in your room. 

fuck! 

knocking on the door, you expect junghwa to be there— when she goes to parties, she’s usually always back home before midnight strikes. …except, you’ve been knocking for five minutes and no one’s answered the door. pulling out your phone and pressing on her number, it rings and rings until… “hello?” 

“junghwa! where are you? i’ve been knocking on the door for like five minutes!” your voice is obviously panicked and junghwa sounds very much awake and aware. she would have heard you knocking. if she was home. 

“oh, i’m at my boyfriends! why?” 

you frown, letting yourself cry. “i left my keycard inside the house and locked myself out.” 

“just ask tom for his master keycard!” 

“he isn’t here.” you sniffle, reading the sign on the door that clearly says, ‘will be back tomorrow morning!’ another cry escapes your throat, “what do i do?” 

“i think… i don’t know, ___, maybe call nayeon? she’s always awake during this time!” 

you sighed, knowing that nayeon finally scored with the guy she’s been telling you about for six months at the party tonight. you couldn’t bother her right now. so, quite frankly, you have one option left. “i’ll figure something out.” you say, sounding so sad. 

“okay, let me know what you do, i’m sorry, babe!” 

dialing the familiar number on your phone. it rings twice before you hear the deep voice on the other line. “hello?” 

“taehyung…” you sniffle, “are you far from my apartment?” 

“no, not too far, why?” 

“where are you? can you pick me up?” 

“i’m at the gas station around the corner, why do you need me to pick you up?” 

“i locked myself out of my apartment.” you cried. 

taehyung laughs at your predicament. watching as the numbers stop on the gas, placing the gas pump back into the machine. taehyung hops into his car and sighs. “i’ll be right there, don’t go anywhere, yeah?” 

you nod even though he can’t see you, “okay.” 

taehyung doesn’t take long, you sat in the apartment lobby, looking through the big windows and waiting until you saw taehyung’s car to come out. to your surprise, taehyung comes out, looking kind of worried. when he sees you through the big clear windows, he waves you over. 

walking over to his car in shame, he still opens the door for you. waiting until you’re inside to close the door and join you in the driver's seat. 

the drive to taehyung’s apartment wasn’t long, he didn’t live too far from you as the two of you tried to stay as close to school as you could. once he parked, the two of you walked into the lobby where henry waves to taehyung but eyes you— you and your sock covered feet on the cold floor, since your heels are killing you. 

“you’re having a terrible night, i see.” taehyung laughs once he realizes why henry was staring so hard at the ground. 

“don’t mention it.” you huffed. 

“at least you called me.” taehyung said. “you would have been sleeping on your cold complex floor instead of my warm couch.” 

“thank you.” you pouted, once again on the verge of tears. everything that happened tonight was just so upsetting. it was all piling up. 

“you can cry.” taehyung says, watching as the tears bubble and build in your waterline. when you blink they finally drop, adding more streaks to the ones on your face already. “you’ll be fine.” he pats your shoulder as the two of you walk down the long hallway that leads to his unit. 

he opens the door and lets you in first, you hear the door close behind you as you set your shoes down. taking off your knee socks, you sit down on his couch— the only place you’re familiar with in taehyung’s apartment as you've only ever been here once and it was for two minutes. you don’t even know what the bathroom looks like. 

you calm yourself down at that point, allowing your tears to dry so you can look around taehyung’s apartment. see how he decorated his living room and kitchen. it’s not too much but it still feels lived in. there’s framed pictures on the shelves, a cute little dining table— enough for taehyung and some friends, and then paintings strung on a couple of his walls. it’s homey, warm. 

as you were analyzing his apartment, taehyung stands nexts to the couch, pulling at his tie, it’s still stuck just below his neck. he can’t get the hole any bigger so he just gives up, plopping down next to you. 

“just take it off.” you tell him, pointing to the tie after watching him struggle for a minute. 

“that’s obviously what i was trying to do— i don’t have the patience right now.” 

“seriously? you just have to—“ you scooch next to him, pulling the tie towards you, in turn, pulling taehyung closer to you as well. his eyes are wide as yours focuses on the stuck knot in the tie, you two were a few inches too close, but you didn’t seem to mind. “—there.” you say with a proud smile as the tie unravels in your hands and away from taehyung’s neck. 

“thanks.” he sighs, laying his head back against the couch and staring up at the ceiling. you try not to stare, but it’s a common thing for you to gawk at his features. you’ve even told him before that he has perfect facial structure. taehyung doesn’t mind when you stare anymore. he thinks it’s cute. 

but you wonder if taehyung still tastes like that lollipop he was sucking on the entire night, or maybe the cola he was drinking— what the hell is wrong with you? why are you thinking about kissing kim taehyung right now? after you’ve just cried for twenty minutes? 

it was probably just a thought of comfort, something that will keep you distracted. but if your brain is asking for comfort from kim taehyung, maybe you need a drink. no, you really need a drink right now. 

“do you have any alcohol?” you ask him. 

he side eyes you, “seriously? you wanna drink now?” 

“i can’t stop thinking about how stupid i’ve been— maybe alcohol will make it go away,” you suggested with a shrug. unconfident with your reasoning for wanting to get drunk. 

“alcohol won’t solve your problems.” taehyung says, “but maybe it’ll help you forget for now.” 

taking pity on you, he stands from the couch and goes into his alcohol cabinet to fetch the huge bottle of vodka that his friends gave him as a gift (he can’t exactly remember what it was a gift for, he just thinks that his friends like giving away alcohol so that they can drink it later.) 

with two shot glasses in one hand and the enormous bottle of vodka in the other, he sits on the floor just in front of the couch and places the items on the coffee table. pouring the clear liquid into the glasses, he hands you one and gently taps his glass against yours, “all in.” 

you’ll never get used to the feeling of alcohol going down. it’s just not a pleasant feeling, but obviously, you’re not drinking for the taste. then, as you always do, you start to talk. talk about why you’re so upset, even though taehyung thinks he has a clear understanding why. you’re not sure how you’ve already downed three shots by now, but at this point, you’re just rapid firing random questions to taehyung and taking a shot after. 

“should i delete all of the instagram posts then?” 

“yeah, if you don’t like them.” 

“but i got a ton of likes on them.” 

“it’s up to you.” 

one shot. 

“what about the clothes i bought? should i get rid of them?” 

“no, that’s a waste, don’t you like some of them?” 

“yeah, they’re all pretty cute— but they’re not my style.” 

“who cares? you can make anything your style, just wear it the way you want to, instead of wearing it the way you think someone else wants you to wear it.” 

“you’re right.” 

another shot. 

“i can’t believe i wasted your time.” 

“it was fun.” 

“i should give you like $100 for reparations.” 

“i wouldn’t mind that.” 

another shot. 

“do you believe in love?” 

“nope.” 

“me neither, let’s stick together.” 

“whatever.” 

and another shot. 

“did you love the person you lost your virginity to?” 

“i did.” 

“really? you just said you didn’t believe in love.” 

“i used to,” he shrugs. “you?” 

“i thought i did.” you shrugged too. “he was just using me, i should have known though.” 

and another. 

“fuck.” you groan, your eyes starting to blur and your head starting to spin. “what—what about your first kiss?” 

“same person i lost my virginity to.” 

“that’s sweet.” you smiled. “mine was in year seven, my first boyfriend.” 

“nice.” taehyung comments. 

“thanks.” you smiled. holding onto the couch cushion behind you because the world is turning way too fast right now and it feels like you’re about to get spun out of your body. “think i’m gonna puke.” 

“oh, god.” taehyung helps you up, “bathroom.” the two of you make way to the bathroom and you head straight to the toilet. 

you cling to the cold porcelain bowl, the fast food that was dwelling in your stomach comes back up and disposes itself in taehyung's toilet. 

meanwhile, taehyung stands at the bathroom door, watching as you upchuck. it does make him cringe, but it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before. parties and alcohol galore surrounded him. seeing a pretty girl throw up in his bathroom? one of the better things he’s experienced. 

walking up to your crouched body, he kneels down and gently pulls your hair back. the action calms you and your dizzying brain. the feeling of his fingers combing through your hair and pressing against your scalp, it makes you feel a lot better. but of course, you still had that little bit of alcohol left in your stomach that wanted out. holding your hair in one hand, he rubs your back with the other. “so gross.” he mutters, his words don’t match his face— a small smile painted on his lips. 

you can’t even face him. even though your mind is clouded and you shouldn’t be trusted with important decisions right now, you still feel embarrassed. throwing up in front of a cute guy. 

“mouth wash?” is the first thing that comes out of your mouth, breaking the silence. you could have stayed quiet a little longer, enjoyed the feeling of taehyung’s hand rubbing gentle circles on your back. but the leftover acid in your throat was making you uncomfortable. 

he laughs, bringing down the blue liquid down from his sink and pouring the liquid into the cap. “i’m not letting you put your puke lips on this, so open up.” 

listening intently, you drop your jaw and tilt your head up. your eyes are tearful, mostly due from the fit of upchucking you just went through. the cold liquid surprises you, but you react in time, closing your mouth and gargling the stinging liquid to clean the acid out of your mouth. you spit into the toilet and flush when you’re all done. 

you sit with taehyung in silence for a little while, your head leaning against the cold surface of his bathtub. “what time is it?” you asked, worried for some reason. 

“late.” he answers. “wash up, i’ll bring you some pajamas to sleep in.” 

“thank you.” you pouted, tears about to spout from your eyes because taehyung is just being so nice. 

“yeah, yeah.” he brushes you off. “shout if you need help.” 

he closes the bathroom door and you get to washing your face, you doubt he has any make up remover so you settle for ol’ reliable: baby wipes. after your face is clear of any makeup, you gargle water and mouthwash another two times (being sure not to put your lips on it for taehyung’s sake) and soon after, taehyung knocks on the door. you open but he only slides his hand through, giving you a pair of pajamas. “thank you!” you tell him through the crack in the door. you don’t hear him reply when he shuts it again. 

you join him outside once you’re all changed. 

“here.” taehyung hands you a glass of water, graciously you take it and chug the liquid down to replenish your body. 

“thank you.” you smiled, still a bit tipsy but able to maneuver your body. you did feel super light though, you tried your best to avoid it, but you ended up having to hold taehyung’s shoulder as the two of you walked down his hallway to balance properly. 

he walks you to his room, opening the door and turning the light on. “you can sleep in my room, i’ll be out here.” he says, pointing at the couch. 

“what? i thought you said i was gonna be on the couch?” you mumbled, confused. the two of you end up bickering because you didn’t wanna inconvenience him. it gets to the point where taehyung has to push you into his room, forcing you in there until you step foot into his bedroom. you’ve only ever seen glimpses of it. from those quick facetimes and the mirror pictures he posts very seldomly. it’s cozy, and his bed is huge. the comforter looks like it’ll melt around your body. 

“go to sleep.” he tells you, bringing you out of your trance. 

listening to his words, you sit on the inviting bed and melt into the cold touch of the comforter. it was extremely comfortable. you hear taehyung about to leave the room and you’re quick to speak up, “wait— can you stay here until i fall asleep?” 

you can see the way he wants to bicker again, say no and talk until he ends up sitting by your side and waiting for you to fall asleep. but your sad eyes make his mind clear of anything. his feet carry him to the edge of his bed, “so needy,” he jokes.  

you roll over towards the middle and snuggle yourself into his sheets. the bed smells just like him. “sorry,” you sighed. “i don’t know why but i can’t fall asleep in new places without someone with me.” 

“really?” taehyung asks as he stares up at the ceiling. 

“yeah, i swear.” you laughed breathily. “when i moved out, i couldn’t sleep properly for weeks until junghwa offered to have a movie night in the living room— that was the first time i had a proper eight hour sleep in a month.” 

“i think you’ve got attachment issues or something,” he chuckles. 

a silence falls between the two of you, but it’s not like an awkward silence that makes you wanna cry. it’s a comforting silence, one that you’re grateful for because your brain is spinning still. you can hear taehyung tapping his thumbs against his phone and the clock on his wall ticking. these sounds make you drowsier and drowsier until you’re knocked out. 

you wanted to say something else before you fell asleep. you wanted another one of those rare deep talks. you wanted to listen to him talk and maybe you would have been able to fall asleep to the sound of his voice. but you settle for the comfortable silence that you were given, appreciating his presence. 

taehyung doesn’t realize until he turns off his phone, finally taking a look at you and seeing that your eyes are closed and you’re snuggled up in his blanket. he doesn’t fight the smile that appears on his face. 

quietly, he gets up from the bed and turns out the light. “goodnight,” he whispers, closing the door gently behind him. he doesn’t know that he took your heart with him.

the two of you sleep, just a few feet apart with a wall separating you and even though you were sleeping, you swore you heard your two hearts beat in tandem that night. 

that morning after you slept over at taehyung’s, you woke up with the worst hangover in your history of drinking. your head was pounding, eyes sensitive to any kind of light, and your throat was beyond dry. taehyung was already awake when you came out of the room, clutching your forehead. he was ready, in the kitchen with a glass of water, food, and some aspirin for you to take. “eat first, then take that— i’ll bring you home.” 

you wanted to cry. maybe because of the sheer agony you were in from your hangover. maybe because kim taehyung has taken hold of your heart, even when you swore to yourself that it would not happen. 

after he dropped you off that morning, you didn’t see him for a while, a month to be specific. deciding to focus on your studies rather than partying and drinking, and sadly— hanging out with taehyung. your heart leans in his direction whenever he’s around, maybe you just needed time away from him to realize that you didn’t actually like him. you just liked being around him. 

obviously, you were proven wrong quite quickly. every time you took a break from studying, you wished that there would be a notification on your phone with his name in it. before you went to sleep, you wondered if taehyung had a good day, if he had a bad one. if he did, you wished that he’d text you, ask to hang out to get his mind off of things. but you knew better than that. he’s still kim taehyung. the number one most eligible bachelor in the city, the prettiest guy around, and of course, still the most intimidating. 

junghwa even noticed the lack of taehyung, she started asking where he was on friday’s and saturday’s. “i’m kind of missing the guy.” she admitted to you.

you didn’t want to say it out loud, but it was pretty obvious that you did too. 

other than that, it was just a regular friday afternoon, one that was filled with cleaning the apartment (but didn’t include cleaning your room) since you already finished your assignments for the week. after finishing the bathroom, you laid in bed, scrolling mindlessly on instagram— liking random posts and commenting every now and then. your body felt so heavy, a nap would be nice right about now. 

two heavy knocks on your door prevent your eyes from shutting. 

“what?” you shout, hoping junghwa can hear you through the door. 

“you have a guest.” she tells you, opening your door and letting the stranger in. 

you were facing your wall, snuggled in your warm blanket before you turned around to see who it was. well, well, well. if it isn’t the guy who’s been taking up all the space in your mind. the kim taehyung himself. 

“your room is a pigsty,” is the first thing he tells you. with a smile on his face, he sits on the edge of your bed. you can’t help but smile either. taehyung found himself comfortably nestling in that tiny hole josh’s left in your heart. no vacant spaces left in your mind or your heart, it’s just him. 

“yeah, i haven’t cleaned up in two weeks.” covering your face with your blanket to hide your entire being from the prettiest man alive, who happens to be sitting right next to you. 

“clean your room, i’ve got good news.” 

pulling the covers away from your face, you sit up and ask, “what good news?” 

“not telling you until i can see the floor of your room.” he kicks a hoodie to the side to reveal another shirt on the floor. 

sighing, you give in. removing yourself from the warmth of your bed to pick up all the dirty laundry on the floor and putting it into your hamper. taehyung helps you out too, bringing all the dirty dishes that were on your desk into the sink. when he comes back, you’re already making your bed. 

“so what’s the good news?” you asked, throwing the last pillow into place. 

“i’m free tonight,” he tells you. 

you raise an eyebrow, “and that’s good news to me because…?” 

“you have the opportunity to hang out with me.” 

“who said i wanted to?” 

“ouch,” he hisses like you’ve pinched him. “you’re so mean now, I’ve taught you well.” 

you scrunch your nose, “i’m kidding, but really— what are you doing here?” 

“i was in the neighborhood,” he says as he sits in your desk chair. “just wanted to check on you.” 

“how nice of you,” you smiled. he twirls around in your chair like he always does and you’ve realized how much you’ve missed this in just the few minutes he’s been here. “fine, i’ll hang out with you tonight— let me shower and get changed.” 

“let me take a nap in your bed then, i’ve been up since nine.” he says as he plops down onto your bed once you get up. 

“nine? why?” you asked, grabbing an outfit from your closet before you step into the bathroom. 

“stuff with jimin.” he answers blankly, tucking himself into your sheets and nodding off to sleep quite quickly. 

“alright then.” you whisper to yourself, walking to the bathroom and freshening up. after you’ve taken your time to get ready, you wake taehyung up from his nap and ask him if he’s ready. he gets up pretty soon after, grabbing his keys from your nightstand and following you out of your apartment. “so what are we doing?” you asked when the two of you were safely in his car. 

“what are you thinking? clubs? bars? frat party?” taehyung lists with a chuckle at the last suggestion. 

you rolled your eyes playfully at his remark, “no frat parties ever again.” scrolling through searches on google for things to do, you recognize a new bar that nayeon has been talking about specifically. mostly about how pretty it is and how nice their bathrooms are, so you turn your phone towards taehyung. “what about this place? nayeon recommended it to me.” 

“sounds good.” taehyung agrees as you put the directions into your phone and connect to the blue in his car. 

it seemed like a solid plan. the car ride to the city was smooth, filled with catching up and taehyung telling you about how jimin’s already ran out of the sticky notes you’ve got him. 

and of course. being in the city, all the bars, clubs, and even that pub were packed. the lines were down the street and it didn’t look worth it enough to stand in line. both you and taehyung gave up the plan of heavy drinking today. 

“wait! i know a place.” you smiled. 

the two of you walk a couple blocks the other way to… 

“an arcade?” taehyung raises a brow. 

“they serve alcohol here,” you inform him. “and it’s pretty fun if you look past the super bright lights!” 

the two of you walk in and the atmosphere is loud and bustling. groups of people are shouting at card tables and couples are lining up for the photobooth. the chaotic energy is something that puts you at ease for some reason, it’s fun! 

“aw, tae, look at how cute that is!” you exclaim, pointing at the stuffed animal stuck inside the claw machine that the two of you were passing by. 

“i’m a pro at these claw machines.” he claims, stopping at the machine. 

“really?” you raised an eyebrow. “let’s bet on it then.” 

“you’re on.” he smirks, pulling out his wallet and sticking a dollar in. “if i get it in three tries, then you lose.” 

“fine.” you smiled, confident that he wasn’t going to get it within three tries because it was one of those rigged claw machines anyways. so you stood back and watched as his maneuvered the crane skillfully, the first time around, he wasn’t so lucky, but he was able to move the stuffed animal you wanted close enough to the hole. then the second time around, got it to fall into the hold. scoring the stuffed animal and proving you wrong. “what the hell!” you laughed as he pulls out the animal and hands it to you. 

“since you lost, you’re paying for dinner tonight.” taehyung says. 

you huff, “fine.” holding the stuffed animal in front of you, you smile, “what should i name him?” 

taehyung snorts, “you name your stuffed animals? aren’t you too old for that?” 

“you’re never too old for anything,” you tsked. “what about tata? since you won him for me.” you grinned, raising the stuffed animal in the air. 

“tata? wouldn’t it be taetae?” he laughed.

“you’re taetae, this is tata.” you push the stuffed animal against his face. 

“cute.” he scrunches his nose, pushing the plush away from his face and gently moving you forward, making you walk towards the tables so the two of you could eat. but as taehyung walks behind you, he grins to himself at the fact that you named your plushie after him. 

the two of you finally make your way to the table, ordering your food and also receiving it in no time. the two of you talk as you eat, you felt like the two of you were really friends. like close friends that have known each other for years. you’re grateful for taehyung, really. and whenever thoughts like this pop into your mind, you always have to say it out loud. “i’m glad we’re friends,” you smiled. 

taehyung sends you a small smile back, picking up a fry and eating it before replying. “can’t believe we’re friends because you were going through an identity crisis.” 

“do you think i was dumb for doing that?” you leaned in, a slight pout on your lips. 

“yeah,” taehyung nods. you groan, putting your head in your hands. “at least you dove head first into it without second thoughts.” 

“isn’t that just impulsive?” 

“maybe,” taehyung shrugs. “but i wish i had that trait, i’ll admit, i admire that about you.” 

“i think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” 

taehyung only rolls his eyes. “let’s just eat now.” 

you nod, digging into your burger and enjoying this time with taehyung. you try not to think too much of it, you try to tell yourself that this isn’t a date! it’s just some friends that are eating together after not seeing each other for a while. that’s all it is. that stupid fluttering in your stomach has no reason to be going that crazy right now. 

you swallow, picking up the drink menu. “should we get drinks?” you asked, looking through the choices. 

taehyung raises a brow. “are you gonna throw up again?” 

“are you ever gonna let that go?” you ask him with a flat smile. 

“nope.” 

“ugh,” you roll your eyes, “no drinks it is then.” putting down the alcoholic drink menu and spotting the dessert menu instead, “oh! milkshake!” you suggest, pointing to the picture on the menu. 

taehyung peers over and nods, a milkshake sounds good right now. plus, it reminds him of that first time the two of you got a milkshake together. for some reason it’s been cemented in his mind ever since then. 

when the waitress comes back around to check up on the two of you, you give her a bright smile and ask, “can we get a strawberry milkshake? with no cherries, please.” 

she nods, saying she’ll be right back with it and you both thank her. at this point the two of you have already finished your meals and are just waiting on the milkshake and the check. 

“i gotta pee.” you stated, taking your bag with you and scooting out of the booth. “don’t finish the milkshake without me!” you warn taehyung. 

“yeah, yeah— hurry up.” he laughs lightly. 

a few minutes after you left, the waitress came back with the milkshake. a bright red cherry sitting atop of the whip cream. 

“uh— we ordered it without the—“ taehyung started but the waitress already walked away by the time he was able to finish his sentence. “—cherry.” 

he sighs, taking the cherry and eating it. hiding the stem and seed in a napkin in order to hide any evidence of the cherry ever being there. 

after that, taehyung waits for you, playing this new game on his phone that jimin introduced him to. he didn’t even realize he was sipping on it for a while until you came back and yelled at him. 

“hey! i told you to save me some!” you pouted. when he looks down at the drink, he can see that he’s already drunk half the milkshake. making him chortle out an apology, giving the rest to you. when the check came, the two of you have already finished the milkshake and it was about time to start heading home. 

the two of you leave the arcade, full and pleased by the stuffed animal you’ve won (or that taehyung won for you). flowing through the groups of people walking the streets at night and passing by the bright windows of the shops. one shop catching your eye, a bakery with flowers out in front. “taehyung, we need these.” you tell him, pulling him along since he was far behind. 

you pull him into the shop, his hand intertwined in yours. you didn’t think of it much, but taehyung did. the two of you stare into the display table, rows and rows of colorful macarons lined up. when you let go of his hand to talk to the worker, his hand turns cold again. 

“what flavors do you want?” you turn back to ask him. 

taehyung shrugs. “you choose.” 

“but— i don’t know either!” you furrowed your brows, begging him to choose something. 

“um— sir, can you choose for us? we’ll just have two dozen of the flavors you recommend.” taehyung suggests to the man behind the counter. 

“your boyfriend is quite the gentleman.” the man tells you as he packs up your order. you give him a gentle smile, a slight blush tinge your cheeks. “i’ll give you a discount.” the man tells you when he’s ringing the two of you up. 

your eyes widen. “thank you!” you feed into the narrative, taking taehyung’s hand in yours and interlacing your fingers. hoping he doesn’t pull away. 

he doesn’t. 

“here you go.” he hands over the bag and taehyung takes it in his hand. “hope you guys have a happy relationship! see you again!” 

“thank you,” both you and taehyung say in tandem before walking out of the shop. 

“what a sweet man.” you gushed, “let me see the flavors!” 

taehyung opens the bag, pulling out the two boxes and seeing through the clear exterior. “oh he gave us two of each flavor.” 

“can we eat one now?” you asked, leaning close to him. you didn’t even realize that your hand was wrapped around his arm. you don’t think taehyung noticed either. 

“yeah, i’ll try this red one.” he points to it through the packaging. 

you nodded, “me too, should we guess what flavor?” 

“definitely strawberry.” he answers. 

“i was thinking maybe red velvet.” you argued. 

“whoever’s right gets a $1?” taehyung suggested with a smirk. 

“oh, you’re on!” you chuckled. the two of you bite the macaron at the same time. it takes a few chews for you to really taste the flavor. your face cringes when you realize. “cherry.” you groan out loud. 

taehyung rolls his eyes playfully, finishing his macaron. “don’t be like that, it’s good.” 

your face makes a pucker face, showing that it really isn’t good to you. 

“give it to me then, you’re so picky.” taehyung laughs. you place the macaron between his lips and pinch his nose. 

the two of you walk a little longer, catching up with each other. mostly trying to find your way back to the car because taehyung completely forgot which parking lot he left it in. you feel a buzz in your pocket and you take out your phone to inspect. 

"you've got to be kidding me." you groaned after reading the text. 

"what is it?" taehyung asks, taking out his keys because he thinks that this parking lot is the one. 

you tilt your phone over to him, showing him the text from your roommate, asking you to sleepover somewhere else tonight because it’s her and her boyfriend’s anniversary and she’s thinking of sexing him until the sun comes up. 

“tmi much?” he snorts, leading you into the parking garage as you remained focused on replying to junghwa. the two of you still walked arm in arm. 

“let me text nayeon and ask her if i can sleep over.” you tell him, switching conversations and typing out a message for nayeon. 

but taehyung stops you before you can send the text, “you can stay at mine,” he offers. 

you raise your brows, “really?” finally spot this car and pull him towards the vehicle, he unlocks the car and opens the door for you. 

he nods nonchalantly. “yeah, you’ve slept over before, i don’t care.” 

he leaves the door open, waiting for a reply as you pretend to think it through. “you do have a really nice bed…” your fingers stroke your chin. “okay!” you beamed. 

taehyung smiles, closing your door and silently celebrating that he could spend a little more time with you. you were doing the same inside the car, mentally thanking junghwa for giving you an opportunity to spend the night again. 

the drive to his apartment was mostly quiet, the radio talked more than the two of you, but neither of you minded. it was a surprise to taehyung that you weren’t doing your rapid fire questions, but he reasoned it to the fact that you were gonna stay the night, so you were probably gonna annoy him the entire night anyway. the ride went by quite fast, because before you knew it, you were standing in front of taehyung’s apartment door, waiting for him to open it. 

the rest of the night goes by in a flash. when people say that time flashes by when you’re having fun, they’re right. one second, you and taehyung were watching a movie on netflix and finishing the macarons. then the next second, it’s already midnight and time for the two of you to head to bed. after cleaning up in the bathroom and changing into pajamas (that taehyung graciously lent to you), you make your way to taehyung’s room. 

you didn’t ask taehyung to keep you company this time around. you hoped you could fall asleep easier due to the fact that you’ve already slept here before and the fact that you were worn out from the day. 

but it turns out your feelings may be a little too loud. they don’t let you fall asleep so easily. taehyung’s bed is so comfortable and clean, but it smells like him. his clothes, his sheets, his pillows, they all smell like him. your eyes blink up at the ceiling, the darkness makes the light fixture look fuzzy every now and then. even when you try to close your eyes and count sheep, taehyung’s face pops into your mind, with that damned, sweet smile on his face. almost always with a blush painfully creeping up to your cheeks. 

so you take what you’ve learned from this month with taehyung. confidence. it’s all about confidence. 

taking that in consideration— you had two options here. when you looked at the clock, it was almost two in the morning. taehyung could either be sleeping or awake. if he were awake, you could to sit with him and tell him what’s going on. if he is asleep, then just… tell him another time. 

it doesn’t really sound like a very solid plan, but you didn’t have much confidence about confessing your feelings to someone. especially when the reason you and taehyung are so close is because of another guy who had rejected you already. so it’s hard to think that taehyung has the same feelings as you. but how are you ever going to get anywhere if you just wallow in this feeling of love? the least you could do was let him know, maybe he could tell you off and say that he doesn’t feel like that towards you. at least then, you’d have a reason to stay away from him. now, all you want to do is to spend more and more time with him. maybe if he were to break your heart, it would be easier to move on. 

when you finally accept your fate that this could go in two completely different directions, you decide to get up and out of his bed. your feet immediately feel the touch of the cold floor, waking you up more. when you walk up to the door, you gently turn the doorknob and slightly slide it open. you can hear the tv in the living room playing something. taehyung must have left it on and fell asleep. 

gathering up all of your courage, you slide the door open more and peek your head out of the room. spotting taehyung’s figure sitting upright on the couch. scrolling mindlessly on his phone as the tv plays in the back. you’re freaking out, but you know you have to go with the plan. 

from the corner of his eye, taehyung can see your head peeking out by his bedroom door. he smiles to himself. 

“can’t sleep?” he asks, not turning to look at you. his eyes focused on his phone as he continued to scroll. 

you shake your head, even though he isn’t looking at you. “no,” you said out loud, making your way to the couch. “can i sit with you for a bit?” 

“sure.” he answers, scooting over and giving you an ample amount of room to sit and watch. turns out he was watching old cartoons, you don’t remember the name of this one, but it seems quite familiar. 

“couldn’t sleep either?” you asked him. 

he nods, still looking only at his phone. “got a lot on my mind.” 

you nod, “wanna talk about it? seems like you’re trying to avoid it with that mindless scrolling you’re doing.” you tap the back of his phone gently. only then does he let out a light laugh and turn the device off, finally looking at you. 

are you always this pretty? 

taehyung thinks he’s going crazy. these memories riddling his mind of the two of you laughing together in his car. sharing a drink. especially just now, when he was thinking about you cuddling with that plush you named after him since he won it for you. it’s all been you. his thoughts are all and only you. 

it’s just a dumb crush, it’ll go away before i know it. taehyung told himself. he could have gotten over it, but he thought maybe this could be… more? or well, his heart decided that before his head did. 

“i think i’d like to avoid it a little longer.” he tells you truthfully. he really isn’t ready to say anything about it. the two of you have forged a nice friendship. he doesn’t want his feelings to ruin that. 

“suit yourself,” you tell him. bringing your knees up to your chest and looking over to the tv. 

the low volume of the tv was all the noise that separated you and taehyung. you could feel yourself blush, thinking about saying it. but taehyung was a great friend, even if he doesn’t like to admit it. he’s a caring guy. you wanted him to know that. 

“i missed hanging out with you.” 

“you did?” 

you nodded. “i didn’t realize it in the moment, but i really looked forward to hanging out with you— the week would go by so slowly and then the days with you would go so fast.” 

“i feel like an idiot admitting it, but me too.” he tells you. “you’re fun to be around.” 

“you’re being really nice today.” you say suspiciously. “should i be scared?” 

taehyung rolls his eyes again. silence takes over, but it’s not an uncomfortable silence. it’s one that helps you calm down a little, allowing your eyes to wander his features a bit. how his eyes stare into yours but then look away when you maintain eye contact. how his lips purse as his eyes flicker down to stare at yours. 

you really want to kiss him. 

ever since you kissed him before the party, you hadn’t stopped thinking about it. not even when you were kissing josh. you can’t stop staring at his lips either. 

“what are you thinking about?” he smiles lazily, knowing that you’re staring. if taehyung was anything, it was a tease. 

“nothing.” you blushed, tearing your stare away. 

if it was a crush, so be it. if he was catching feelings, whatever. taehyung’s never wanted anything more than to kiss you right now. so he says fuck it to all of the blaring red sirens in his head. 

“you can kiss me,” he says, moving closer and watching as your face only blushes a deeper red. 

“w—what?” you mumbled, avoiding eye contact with him. 

“i kissed you last time,” he says. gently using his finger to turn your face towards his. “it’s your turn now, right?” 

taking risks is something you're used to doing now, but this? kissing taehyung again? it’s too much of a risk. you’d 100% completely fall in love if you kissed him again. 

but then again, was that so bad? you’re thinking over the pros and cons as you stare at him. just as you think he’s gonna pull away, he pushes in a little closer. “do you wanna kiss me?” he asks, making your face flush an even brighter red, if that were possible. 

“i do.” you speak honestly. flinching because you think taehyung’s gonna laugh in your face and make you sleep on the couch while he sleeps in his bed. but none of that happens, he only stays still, so close to you. 

“if you learned anything from our time together, show me.” he prompts you, getting close enough so that his lips just ghost your ear when he whispers, “kiss me.” 

you crash your lips against his and immediately feel relief for some reason. his lips felt so welcome against yours. unlike how it felt with josh. this just proves that it wasn’t a one off thing, you really just preferred kissing taehyung. 

trying to remember the lesson he gave you in your apartment, you push against him softly, making him straighten his back as you straddle his thigh. you think he likes it this way because his hands immediately move to your waist, making sure you don’t move. taehyung knows this is technically the third time you’ve made out with anyone, so he doesn’t expect you to take too much initiative. 

but then you take him by surprise by swiping your tongue against his bottom lip, repeating what he did to you that first time you guys made out. 

he can’t help but smile against your lips. despite the clearly steamy and heated moment that’s going on right now, taehyung can’t help but think about how funny this all is. how crazy it is that he fell for you out of everyone. and how you fell for him in all of this. 

the thought is interrupted by the way that you expertly continue to kiss him. he taught you well. a few minutes in, and taehyung can already hear your quiet whimper desperately trying to escape your mouth. he can feel the material of his sweats atop his thigh start to get a little damp. pulling away from the kiss, he watches as you try to create some friction in turn for your pleasure. his hand lazily comes up and rests against your hip, gently guiding you against his thigh, pressing you down a little harder every now and then to relieve some of that tension for you. “so needy.” he smirks to himself. “does it feel nice?” 

you nod, “feels so good.” 

he places both hands on your hips this time, taking full control of your movements as he flexes his thigh, rocking you back and forth on the place just between his knee and thigh. 

this is a first time for him— most of the time his hookups get straight to it. they know what they want. but you, he’s not entirely sure where you want to go with this. 

muffling your own moans by trying to keep your mouth shut as you ride his thigh turns out to be harder than you thought. it feels so good. taehyung notices the way that you’re trying to keep yourself quiet, and the way that you’re trying to hide your face from him.

so he places his thumb under your chin as he urges you to look at him correctly. “don’t be shy.” moving his thumb from under your chin over your mouth, waiting for you to let go and to let him run his finger over your lips. 

you give in, gasping as you feel a familiar knot in your stomach start to pull and pull. there was no way you were gonna come by rubbing yourself off on kim taehyung’s thigh. were you that turned on? this was the last thing you could have ever planned. 

taehyung’s other hand still guides your hips, while the one on your face plays with your lips. pulling you closer to him, just enough so that you’re inches away from his face and he can see your pretty face knit in pleasure. “gonna cum? hm?” he asks, smirking in your face as you try to move closer and closer to kiss him. just as your lips are about to touch, the hand on your face snakes back, threading your hair through his fingers. he pulls, ever so gently, to prevent your lips from touching. he just has one more thing to say before he tastes you again, and he was determined to let you know. 

“it’s just us.” he tells you, lessening the pull on your hair, bringing you closer. “i wanna hear you.” 

he releases the grip on your hair and the two of you basically clash together, his lips ever so gently guiding you to a sweet but steamy session. your core still finding solace in taehyung’s thigh as you build closer and closer to your climax. you listened to taehyung well, moans and gasps leaving your mouth and into his. 

“fuck.” you say, pulling away briefly when you recognize that warm feeling in your stomach. you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him close, he does the same, bringing his arms around your waist as he helps push you down a little harder against his leg. “oh— fuck, tae.” you gasp when the change in pressure is felt. 

you were so close, you desperately cling onto taehyung as he tells you in your ear, “go ahead.” the bass of his baritone voice egging you on and on. “make a mess on my thigh.” 

it seems like that’s all it took, soon after taehyung instructed you to cum all over his thigh, that’s exactly what you did. series of short moans erupting from your mouth straight to his ear. taehyung couldn’t have been any harder. you would think from all his experience, he’d be able to push the urge down a little longer. maybe it’s you, being the first girl to use his thigh as a means for pleasure. it was quite a sight. 

when you finally pull back from hiding in the crook of his neck, you already know that your face was flushed. probably a blood red. your hair was probably fucked. and you already know that between your legs, on taehyung’s thigh, was a big mess. 

looking at the wet patch on his sweats under you, you blush even more, if that was even possible. “i’m sorry.” you cover your face in shame but taehyung isn’t having it. 

taking your hand before you can hide behind it, “that was hot.” he admits, pulling you close. “can you do another for me?” 

nodding, you dive back into a kiss quickly, devouring his lips. it makes him chuckle against your mouth. “slow down.” he pats your thigh before hooking his hand under the dip of your calf. encasing him in your legs as you straddle him. “we’ve got all the time in the world, don’t worry,” he assures you. restarting the pace between the two of you, slow and sensual instead of the fast and needy pace from earlier. 

“are we gonna…?” you pull away from the kiss to ask. remembering that it’s been quite a while since you’ve done the deed. 

“only if you want,” he tells you. his comforting touch rubs up and down your thigh gently. “if you just wanna make out for a couple of hours, i’m down for that too,” he laughs. that lazy smile of his popping out and only making you want to jump his bones even more. 

“i want to,” you nod. “it’s just— it’s been a while.” you admit while softly running your finger through one of taehyung’s long curls. 

he smirks, a little laugh coming out as well. “is this your way of asking me to be gentle?” 

you blushed. “well, i— yes.” 

“sure, princess.” he promises as he dives back in to kiss you. running his hands under your shirt and gently placing them under the waistband of the pajama pants you borrowed. silently asking permission to take it off. 

down for it all, you put your hands over his, helping him take off the pants, leaving you in your soaked underwear and his shirt. sitting properly on him now, you feel something hard resting just between your thighs. embarrassingly enough, it makes you moan out, and to your surprise, it also makes taehyung groan. it’s one of the best sounds you’ve ever experienced. music to your ears, you want to hear more. 

one good roll against him gives you exactly what you want. another delicious groan leaving his lips, mumbling words against your lips that you can’t exactly decode. parting from your lips, he slides your shirt over your head, revealing you in all your glory on top of him. you can’t help but blush, as he’s still fully clothed, while you’re basically stripped, besides your underwear. “fuck me.” taehyung exasperates, gawking at your body. “so pretty,” is all you hear before he pulls you forward to kiss between your breasts. showering kisses on your body as you feel the tension in your stomach start to get tight once more. 

you were too caught up on taehyung’s lips toying with your nipples to realize that his hand was sneaking between your legs. the feeling of his fingers against your warm core made you flinch at first, a prolonged moan leaves your lips when he gathers your wetness and rubs your clit in a tight circle. 

“t-tae—!” you call out when he continues to rub slick circles against your clit. after leaving a hickey on your breast, taehyung pulls your underwear down. you were now completely stripped while he was still fully clothed. something about it made you even more turned on. if that was even possible. “more, please.” you whimper. 

“more?” taehyung teases, his fingers slowing their pace only to make you cry in dissatisfaction. his fingers make their way down, his middle finger pressing inside, making you moan out loud. “princess wants more, huh?” he asks, drawing his finger out to add his ring finger before plunging back inside. 

the feeling makes your eyes roll to the back of your head, bracing yourself on his shoulders as he continues to touched you in a way that you haven't in a while. but still, despite the heat of the moment, you still find a way to bicker. “not a princess.” you mumbled as he continued to pleasure you with his fingers. 

taehyung raises a brow. ceasing his movements and watching as you ride his fingers. gliding up and down his slender digits. a smirk on his lips when he echos, “not a princess?” 

to which you shake your head. 

he’s not satisfied with your answer, of course. so he stops you, pulling his fingers away and leaving you clenching around nothing. a groan of disappointment leaving your lips before you could think about it. “taehyung—“ 

“princesses get what they want.” he tells you matter of factly. “and since you’re not a princess, you can beg, and i’ll see if i’ll let you have it.” 

“but—“ 

“beg, pretty girl.” 

“please.” you tried, furrowing your brows and sitting patiently only to see taehyung’s bored face. 

“please, what?” 

“please, taehyung.” 

“i’m asking what you want,” he clarifies, still looking bored. 

“you.” you inched closer, landing yourself right on top of his print. it makes him suck in a breath. his teeth taking in his bottom lip. if taehyung wanted you to use what you learned, then he was going to get it. turning your sultry voice on, you whimper, “need you so bad.” grinding against him, drawing out a glorious breathy sigh. 

usually, taehyung’s self control is akin to hardened steel. he isn’t one to give in super easily. but listening to you and feeling you against him has him melting a lot faster than he typically would. it doesn’t help that you’re completely naked on top of him, your desperation only pushes him, making him want more and more until he finally says, “fuck it.” 

now it was game. 

taehyung lifts you, walking through the hallway into his room as you cling onto him, pressing gentle kisses against his neck. breaking away from him when he gently lays you down on his comforter. 

you watch as he takes off his shirt, your legs wrap around his hips as you pull yourself closer to him, trying to find any sort of relief for the ache you feel between your legs. it feels worse than your first one, your pussy needing more and more. “you’re so impatient.” he mocks you, leaning over you to give you a brief kiss before unlocking your legs around him. leaving you to fend for yourself as you lay on his bed, alone and bare, in front of him. 

“need you to fill me up,” you sighed at the thought. it’s been so long since you’ve had a good fuck. arching your back and running your hands over your chest fo show him, your fingers rolling the hard buds between them. the feeling makes your head turn, “i’ve waited so long.” 

“was this your plan all along?” he quips, coming down to kiss between your breasts. “you wanted to fuck me that bad?” 

“maybe.” you laughed (half lying and half telling the truth, you weren’t exactly sure when things turned tides and all sails were facing taehyung). he shakes his head, a sly smile on his face when he does the unthinkable. 

he tickles you. 

when you were trying to be sexy and everything! now your efforts were wasted since you let out your cackle, one that you’re pretty sure only nayeon and seolhyun have heard. 

“you’re trying to play me, huh?” he asks, your fit of giggles mix in with his light laughs. 

“why—! why are you tickling me?!” you laughed, he hovers over you, finally ceasing his attack and he smiles. 

“you were using my advice against me.” he says, “i know better than that.” 

“didn’t you tell me to do that?” you quipped. 

“yeah, but i didn’t think you would do so well.” he admits, laughing lightly against your lips. 

you shrugged, copying the smirk on his face. “well, i learned from the best.” 

he hums in approval. not realizing that your hand is trailing down his body and landing where he’s particularly sensitive. you elicit a groan from him, your hand rubbing him through his boxers. he stands up straight, watching as your hands do their dirty work. 

meanwhile, he has his own trick up his sleeve, with your legs open below him. he simply places his thumb against your clit, making you shiver immediately. your hand losing it’s pace, but still able to move against him. 

but eventually, the two of you decided that you wanted more. he can see it in the way that you spread your legs further and you can feel it when his tip starts to feel damp through his boxers. 

taehyung pushes your hand away. “that’s enough.” dipping back down to kiss you and savor the taste of your lips on his tongue. 

“taehyung, please.” you whimper against him. the feeling between your legs is starting to feel unbearable. “please, i need you so bad.” 

he groans at the sound of your begs, but nevertheless, he’s determined to give you what you want. “hold on, baby.” he pulls away in order to grab a condom from his bedside drawer. 

you raise an eyebrow at the choice of nickname. “you call every girl you sleep with ‘baby’?” you joke. 

he smirks, “yeah, all of them.” 

it’s just you, if he was being honest. 

he slips the condom on and you try to stop yourself from drooling. the sheer size of him is a feat, you’re not even sure if you can house that inside of you. 

taehyung can see the way your eyes widen when you stare down at him. “it might hurt a little bit, just let me know if it’s too much, yeah?” 

how sweet of him, honestly. you can't help but swoon a little bit. even if the bar is on the floor for you, it makes you heart flutter a bit knowing he cares. this is a huge upgrade from losing your virginity on top. 

plus you get to look at the physical definition of beauty hovering above you. his dark hair hanging just over his forehead and his eyes focused on where the two of you are about to connect. you’re pulled back into the present when you feel him rub his tip against you, evenly distributing your wetness onto him. then slowly, he pushes in, all the way to the hilt. 

taehyung revels in the feeling of you around him. you’re so pretty under him too, your eyebrows knitting together in a mix of pain and pleasure that he wishes he could just kiss away so that it could only feel good. 

“you— you’re so big.” you groan, feeling his tip kiss your cervix. it’s so good, it’s so good. 

“does it hurt?” he asks, concerned. you can see it in the way his brows pinch together. 

“just a little but—“ you readjust under him, rocking up and trying to get closer. “move please.” 

slowly but surely, taehyung sets a pace. an excruciatingly good one. his stroke is deep and slow at some points and then he would grind into you every now and then. the discomfort from earlier easily dissolves into nothing but pleasure as you’ve completely lost control of your moans and whimpers. your mouth just lets out whatever needs to come out, including random curse words, whines, and also the occasional, “oh, fuck.” 

“you’re so fucking pretty.” he compliments you, heat rushing to your cheeks. “can’t believe you were into that douche.” he rolls his eyes at the thought of josh. 

at this point, it was getting nastier, the pace was getting a little sloppy and you could feel yourself leaking everytime taehyung pulled out. 

“me— me neither.” you gasp. he runs his hand under your thigh, lifting it and pressing it down next to your torso, spreading you out even more. in turn, he goes deeper and you get louder. “but now i’m here.”

“right.” taehyung groans, leaning down to smother you in a kiss before pulling away to say, “with me.” 

“yes— yes, oh god.” you moan out, your hands releasing the sheets to cling onto taehyung. one hand moving to thread through his hair and your other hand moving to pinch your nipple. feeling so close, it was so good. so much so that you were almost seeing stars. 

“he could never give you what you deserve, baby.” he kisses down your neck, feeling you pull his hair and squeeze around him tighter. you were rocking against him, wanting more than he was already giving you so taehyung slows down, lifting himself up to watch you. “look at you, so desperate.” 

you nod. “please, tae, it’s so good.” 

“gonna cum all over my dick too, baby?” he eggs you on, resuming his regular pace and driving you crazy with it. “you can do it, right?” he asks in an almost mocking tone. 

you nod frantically, “i can.” 

“yeah?” he smirks, reeling in the feeling of you wrapped around him so tightly. “gonna be a good girl, right? gonna cum when i tell you to?” 

“yes— fuck, taehyung.” you arch your back when he digs particularly deep on one stroke. “i’ll be your good girl.” you promise him. 

“my good girl?” he repeats. the thought makes him swim closer to the edge. he knows you’re close too, the way that you’re pulsating around him. you were being so good, trying your best to hold back until he said you could. taehyung is falling head over heels right now. 

“your good girl.” you echo. your eyebrows knitting together when the pleasure becomes too much. the feeling in your stomach is growing harder and harder to resist. 

“fuck, go ahead, baby.” he tells you, rubbing right circles onto your clit to help you out. immediately, that feeling of relief washes over you, the euphoria taking over your body as you almost cry from how good it feels. “that’s it, baby.” taehyung praises you as he continues to gently fuck into you. 

the feeling is too much, but at the same time, you want more. you wouldn’t be surprised if you were crying right now. but it just felt so good. “keep going, keep going.” you begged, the feeling makes you shake. the muscles in your thighs twitching.

“fuck, baby, look at the mess you’re making.” he smiles, finally looking down and watching whenever he pulls out to see the cream streaking the condom. collecting on both him and you. 

you reach your hand to touch it. the smooth liquid lubricating the entire area. you collected enough so that you could see it on your fingers. “i— i’m sorry.”

taehyung watches as you stare at your fingers. “if you’re sorry, clean it up, baby.” 

you look up to him with the sweetest eyes, he almost backtracks when you take hold of his hand— not knowing what you were gonna do. but when you lead his hand to collect some of the liquid and bring it up to your lips, taehyung feels his dick start to pulse. “fucking hell.” he groans, suddenly feeling way more turned on than he was (which he didn’t even know was possible). then that familiar feeling snaps in his stomach, unexpectedly he empties into the condom as he continues to fuck into you gently. you can feel it, egging him on with quiet moans and sticking your tongue out to show him that you’ve swallowed it all. he groans at the sight of you, his dick twitching inside of you. “you’re gonna be the death of me.” 

you laugh, smiling to yourself when taehyung pulls out. the slight over stimulation has the both of you gasping. soon enough, he discards them condom into the trash and slides his boxers back on. he hands you his shirt that was on the floor and you slide that on as well. 

“let’s go wash up?” he suggests, knowing that it’s a mess between both of your legs right now. 

you nod, taking the hand that he holds out for you. you used to roll your eyes whenever your friends would talk about how their legs would be useless after a good fuck, but now you understand. when your feet touch the floor, you tried to stand up like usual, but apparently, your thighs didn’t get enough recovery time. they ached and twitched like hell. if it weren’t for taehyung helping you up, you honestly would have fell to the floor. 

“you okay?” he asks, the grip he has on your hand tightens, making sure you don’t fall. even almost grabbing your other arm, but you assured him you were fine. “sorry, i don’t think i was gentle enough.” he flushed. 

you shake your head, a little laugh coming out as well. “i’m fine, i promise.” you tell him, the two of you make your way to the bathroom without a problem after. 

“go first and i’ll bring some new pajamas for us.” he tells you, closing the door behind him. you wash your hands and dry them off before relieving yourself and wiping off any liquids that… accumulated. 

you sit there for a little longer, not really knowing what to do now. not in this moment, but with your friendship with taehyung. what does this mean now? the two of you are friends that have had sex? that you’re just another girl that taehyung checked off his list? that you used him to get over josh? see, now you’re overthinking. 

before you could overthink any more, taehyung knocks gently on the door. you stand from the toilet, opening the door slightly as he hands you a new pile of clothes for you to wear. a meek, “thank you,” leaving your lips before closing the door again. 

as for those questions you have in your head about what you and taehyung are now— they’re gonna have to just wait and see. as a person that plans things out and always wants to know the outcome before you start something, this is scary— but you got to know taehyung due to an impulse that you acted on, so what was so different about this? take life one step at a time, be honest with yourself, and just try to have fun when you can. that’s what you really learned from your time with taehyung, and that’s all you can do now. 

when you leave the bathroom, taehyung occupies it after you and tells you that he changed the sheets already so you could lay down if you wanted. this night has already proven that taehyung’s ten times the man you dreamed josh up to be. maybe your head was just swirling in post-sex glow but there really is something about taehyung that makes your heart grow bigger. 

he comes out of the bathroom and stands at his doorframe, watching you snuggle into his comforter and scroll on your phone, not even realizing he was there. “goodnight,” is all he says before reaching his hand out to turn out the light. 

but you sit up, “wait,” you stop him. making him freeze in place, raising his eyebrows in curiosity. “can you sleep with me tonight?” you ask, gentle with a twinge of desperation lacing the words. you knew it wasn’t exactly your place to expect him to want to sleep with you. having sex with someone and sleeping with them are two completely different things. 

and to be honest, taehyung usually doesn’t sleep with his hookups. they don’t stay that long and neither does he. but he knows you’re not just a hookup, and he tries to keep seunghee’s words in his head. ‘if something happens, then let it happen.’ 

so taehyung closes the door behind him before turning out the light, walking towards you and joining you in his bed. his head hitting the pillow just next to yours. you changed your position for you to lay on your stomach, your arms holding you up as you watch him climb in. it was just a little awkward staring each other in the eyes at first, but taehyung clears the air of any discomfort. “how are you feeling?” he asks. 

“i’m okay, are you asking if anything hurts?” you questioned. a little laugh escaping you. in turn, making taehyung laugh too. “if so, no.” 

he chuckles, “that’s good.” 

“but was that okay for you?” you ask, twiddling your fingers. honestly scared that taehyung would be brutally honest in his review of sex with you. 

“are you kidding?” taehyung laughs lightly. “i don’t think i’ve ever came that hard before.”

“are you just saying that?” you scrunch your nose. 

taehyung shakes his head. “it was really nice, ___.” 

“really? okay, good, because that was the best sex i’ve ever had in my life, like actually.” you admit. 

taehyung snorts, “i guess i am that good.” he pretends to brush a chip off his shoulder and you roll your eyes playfully.

another silence takes over. you didn’t want to say what was on your mind because bringing up the whole ‘what are we?’ conversation just after having sex is a little early. right? 

but taehyung always seems to read your mind. 

“what are you thinking about?” he asks, his eyebrows knitting together ever so slightly. he can see the way that your face slightly falls. 

you shake your head, giving him a weak smile. “nothing.” 

“are you confused?” he questions, lifting himself up slightly by leaning on his arm. 

you bite your lip, nodding. “it’s just— where do we go from here? you know… what are we?” 

despite your fears and your expectations of taehyung laughing at you, getting up and telling you to leave his apartment. he does none of that. quite the opposite actually. lifting his hand up to run his thumb against your jawline. “we can be whatever you want us to be.” he tells you, his gentle touch seeping from your skin into your bloodstream. the little bit of affection fueling the way that you lean in closer to his touch. 

“we don’t have to change?” you asked. 

he shakes his head. “nothing has to change if you don’t want it to.” 

“but i still want to kiss you and stuff,” you admit. 

it makes him smile. “then we can still kiss and stuff.” he assures. 

“do you want to?” you pouted, “why is it whatever i want? what do you want?” 

“i want to do whatever you want to do, baby.” he tells you, the use of the nickname making you melt in his hands. “if you wanna kiss and have sex, i want that too, if you just wanna be friends that don’t touch each other, then i want that too.” he says. “as long as it’s with you, i’m fine with it.” he admits, wholeheartedly. 

you really wanted to kiss him after he said that. so you did. 

and then the rest was history. 

“you wanna see something funny?” taehyung asks as the two of you walk to the cafe. you were craving that one iced tea drink they have on this particularly hot day. taehyung asked if he could tag along— wanting to get out of his sweltering apartment. 

“what is it?” you asked. taehyung pulls open the door of the cafe and the ac blasts out. relieving the both of you from the blaring heat. 

once the two of you step inside, taehyung flips his phone towards you. a picture of josh and his new fling posted on instagram. “look familiar?” he asks, looking you up and down. 

“that’s— that’s my outfit?” you furrowed your brows, taking a closer look at the picture. your signature plaid skirt with a cardigan over it, even a matching headband to complete the look. “she’s cute.” you smiled. 

“josh switched his type pretty fast.” he puts his phone back into his pocket, “maybe you have a chance now.” 

you snorted. “i could care less about him.” 

taehyung gasps, “are you being less than nice for once? what a rare sight.” 

rolling your eyes, you leave taehyung in line. “order for me, i have to pee.” 

“yeah, yeah.” he shoo’s you, moving forward in the line as you walk off to the bathroom. 

after taehyung orders both of your drinks, he sits at one of the tables, waiting for you by scrolling mindlessly on his phone. 

“taehyung?” a group of girls approach taehyung. 

he looks up from his phone to see them all lined up. “yes?” 

“we heard that you’re the guy to come to when it comes to personality and style changes, do you think you can help us?” one of the girls asks. 

taehyung furrows his brows. “what? who told you that?” 

“park jimin.” the same girl answers. 

“of course.” he scoffs, but in the end he shakes his head. “sorry girls, i’m closed for business.” 

you come out of the bathroom just in time to see the group of girls pouting as they walk away. sitting in the seat directly across from taehyung, you ask, “what was that?”