#getweird

Greetings Earthlings of all sizes, shapes and colors. How in the blasted universe are things in your realm?

Ah- here in the Cheese realm things seem to be very, raunchy. And not in the good, sexy-kind-of raunch. And not the raunch you put on your salads....(hehe).

As we all know, things that sound too good to be true, probably are. Cynical Sam, happiness is for the youth! Wow. My depression and overly caffinatedness is showing... (rein in your your tits m'am!)

Any hoosiers!

I received a text message this week from what I thought to be a legitimate job search engine. It was regarding a freelance writing gig.

I did not think this was weird as I am

A. Setup to receive texts from this specific search engine. B. Had been applying for freelance content writing positions.

So I replied back to the message, and an automation came back instructing me to download Zoom for an interview. My excited optimistic heart fluttered. I contacted the email address that had been sent in the text -message, and boom- I was in biz. I started chatting with whom I thought to be the HR woman of the San Diego Zoo. I know, very random as I am in the cheese realm- but again, at this time the excitement was flowing out instead of the logic flowing in.

The woman stated a face to face zoom call would come later, but right now they are operating under Covid-19 restrictions, which meant that the interview would only be conducted via questionnaire and that I had 40 minutes to answer the questions.

Am I shmuckercup for not catching on ASAP? Or is my Midwestern Good faith that let me experience a taste of Covid-19 Employment fraud? OR is it my unknowing knowledge of pandemic protocols for companies?

D. The answer here earthlings, is D- All of the above.

I submitted my questionnaire to the Zoom perpetrator, and she thanked me. I heard from her the next day offering me a position as a content writer. She stated that they were sending me a contract in which she actually did. She also sent a copy of a $2000 check. She stated that the check was for supplies for my home office that I needed for the position. At this point, my brain became uneasy of the situation.

Why would a company send a check via email without a signed contract? Why wasn't this copy of the check password protected? Why was the company on the check not from the Zoo? Does everyone ask these questions? Or know to?

So I asked the faudster on the other end of the screen if this was a scam- as it sounded too good to be true, and that it had been a very unusual way to conduct business. She assured me that it was a real position and a real opportunity that I could be excited for. I trusted that. Like the beautiful bonehead I am.

I took a picture of the check, front and back and attempted to deposit it in my account. I got notification from my bank however that the check had not cleared and they were unable to deposit it. I spoke with the operation department of my bank and they informed me about employment fraud, and believed that it was happening to me.

I called the bank on the copy of the check, and it confirmed my suspicion. The account was indeed fraudulent. I contacted Scammy Pammy and told her the check did not clear, and she asked why? I said, "Well- this is a scam. And the account is fraudulent." And she was never to be heard from again.

^actual footage of my reaction because we earthlings can be too cruel to one another.

I realize this is not the norm way my stories take place. I believe it is important to spread this awareness though. I understand struggles for all and the need to make an income, but why does it have to be so villainous and schemey?

Someone pour me drink. Cheers, and stay smarter than your average bear.

**Disclaimer: I did contact the search engine and let them know of the fraud, and did not give Scammy Pammy any personal info that was made public***