#getting drunk

Dan Humphrey keeps staring at the Gossip Girl’s mailbox getting stuffed up by incoming mails.

That he ignores, deliberately.

Because he already knows that all that stuff is about Blair.

And he doesn’t need to see her sad face again.

He has already framed it in his mind, during Dorota and Vanya’s wedding. 

And if he presses the ‘rewind’ button in his mind he can also reach the point where, a couple of years before, she was sitting against a wall, in a corridor, all alone in her misery, after finding out her own mother had preferred Serena to her for an important fashion photo shoot. With that same sad face.

- Why do I feel so damn compelled to do something whenever I see her so upset? -

His mobile chimes and he sees a text message

‘Hey, what r u doing? V’

Vanessa. His girlfriend, who is in Vermont and is about to come back. A girlfriend who should be Dan’s priority. A girlfriend he should be supposed to miss.

- It’s better if I don’t analyze the amount of time I've spent thinking of Blair Waldorf, compared to the one I’ve spent thinking of Vanessa in the last few days. But the two things are not connected in any possible way. - He pondered, laying down on his bed, his hands ruffling his hair. -In the first case, it’s a person who apparently sometimes can have feelings. In the second case… it’s someone I should owe an explanation for. And lots of honesty. -

His fingers dial that number that has become so important in the last weeks. And it’s about to cease to be.

“Hey!” Cheers Vanessa from the other side. “Hey.” “What’s wrong, Dan?” Dan fliches. “I’ve just said ‘Hey’!” “But I do know you, Dan Humphrey.” Vanessa pauses for a dramatic effect. “As I know you’re about to say: ‘We need to talk.’.” Dan takes a long, needed breath.

“You’re right. We need to talk, Vanessa.”

-------------------------------------------- 

“Miss Blair, I was wondering if you would like to leave the room…” “What’s so hard to understand, Dorota? I’m not going anywhere, I’ll remain here, in my bed, pondering on how much I despise the person that I’ve become!” Blair states, throwing some pillows in her direction to uphold the concept.

“Uh! Sure, I perfectly understand your… err… plans for the day; I have no intention to send you outside; it would be enough if you’d just go in the living room, while I tidy up your room.” The smart domestic clarifies.

“Huh! Yeah, I think I can do that…” Blair grumbles, finally leaving the bed, wearing a short black satin babydoll.

“Miss Blair, I think you want to get more dressed than this before going downstairs!” Dorota stops her in time.

“Well, it’s my house,” Blair shrugs, crossing her.

“You’re right, Miss Blair, but there are bricklayers downstairs. Mrs. Eleanor asked for some last-minute renovations.” “So typical of my mother.” Blair acknowledges. “In this case, I guess it’s advisable that I dress up.” She goes to her bathroom, much to Dorota’s relief.

About ten minutes later she’s ready to go downstairs, with a yellow and purple sleeveless minidress. 

- But there are no renovations here and… what’s this delicious smell?- Following the scent trail she reaches the kitchen, where she finds the responsible.

“Humphrey!” She startles him, her tone a mix of annoyment and surprise.

“Please, don’t be mad at Dorota. I have seen too many Polish movies not to manage to have a connection with her and persuade her that I’m doing the right thing.” Dan explains, turning to her, as he keeps stirring the chopped dark chocolate in bain-marie, until it’s ready.

“And the right thing would be… ? Invading my kitchen?” She asks him, her arms crossed at her chest. Her expression now is more amused than annoyed.

“Dad might be the king of waffles, but hot cocoa is my kingdom and trust me, you really need it!” Dan proudly declares as he pours milk, cornstarch and cocoa powder in another pan. 

“Did someone wake up with a big Ego this morning?” She teases him, although she can’t help staring at him, rather intrigued.

- Chuck never cooked anything for me… and thank God Nate didn’t either, he would have burnt my kitchen! But look how focused he is, sticking the tip of his tongue and… wait, since when does Humphrey have biceps?-

In order to move better, Dan has taken off his jacket, so now he just wears his blue jeans and a grey tight T-shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his well toned shoulders.

It looks like two of Blair Waldorf’s senses are satisfied, not only the smell.

“My hot cocoa will make that sad face of yours disappear.” He winks at her as he pours the melted chocolate in the pan and adds a bit of sugar, mixing everything with great care.

“I don’t have a sad face, Humphrey, I’m just facing a sad phase of my life and your vibes of a happy guy with his girlfriend surely doesn’t help!” She snorts.

“That’s where you’re wrong. No more vibes of that kind from me.” Dan informs her, as he pours the hot chocolate in the mugs and adds the hand-whipped cream.

“Uh? Did you and Vanessa break up?” She frowns, as she sits at the table.

“Well, it took probably the longest phone call I’ve ever made in my whole life, but… yeah.” He nods, as he sprinkles the cinnamon on both of the mugs.

“Are you saying that out of the blue you reached my same level of unhappiness?” Blair inquiries. “Considering that I also ended up losing even my best friend in the process, this should qualify me unhappier than you.” He explains, as he adds some marshmallows and a wafer roll. The final touch.

“I didn’t know this was a competition, Humphrey!” “I guess that everything is a competition, with you, Waldorf!” He strikes back, bringing the mugs at the table.

“This looks unexpectedly good.” She stares at the mug, then at him, then at the mug again. “And I guarantee it tastes as good as he looks!” Dan insists, dipping his spoon in Blair’s hot chocolate and eating it. “See? No poison. Go ahead" He makes her laugh.

“Okay, it’s tasting time.” Blair decides, bringing the mug to her mouth, sipping it.

“So, how is it?” Dan asks her, a little nervous, as he sips his chocolate.

“Last time I paid a visit to my father in Paris, he brought me to a Maître Chocolatier who prepared the best hot chocolate I’ve ever tasted.”

- Okay, that’s it, now she’s going to insult my chocolate, saying it’s a pathetic swill… or maybe worse, she’s going to throw it from the table!- Dan gets lost in his pessimistic thoughts.

“This reminded me of that… just a tiny bit.” Blair concludes her sentence. “Oh.” Dan stares at her in disbelief. “Excuse me, Waldorf, did you just pay me a compliment?” “Well, not directly to you, of course, only to your chocolate!” Blair rushes to point out. “However, don’t get accustomed to that, Humphrey!”

“There’s no risk. I never let my guard down with you.” He strikes back,

“Just tell me, it’s not that you broke up with Vanessa just to make me feel a little better?” Dan scoffs.

“What? No! Of course, no! Don’t flatter yourself, Waldorf!” “Hey! It’s not something nice to say to someone who’s crossing a tough phase!” “Things between Vanessa and I weren’t going well already for a while, she forced herself to see something that couldn’t be. I’ve been more realistic.” Dan explains, eating a couple of marshmallows. “But… you broke up with her over the phone… a little bit of a coward, don’t you think?” Blair points out, as she dips the wafer roll in the whipped cream. “I gave a lot of thought about that, but then I decided it was better this way, not to fill her with soon to be deluded hopes as she travelled back here.” “Oh. I didn’t think about it. But she didn’t take it well anyway.”

“Well, to put it mildly!” He shrugs. “If this comforts you, my best friend one minute is here, telling me I can call her whenever I need her, the minute after I don’t know if she’s still in town.. or in the same country!” Blair rolls her eyes.

“We all have our troubles and Serena has hers.” Dan comments, taking some spoonfuls of whipped cream. “Sometimes I think Dorota proved to be a better friend, since she postponed her honeymoon to stay close to me.” Blair mumbles as she keeps enjoying the hot cocoa.

“That… and her very advanced state of pregnancy.” Dan points out.

“Thank you, Humphrey, you do know how to make a girl feel special!” She snaps, blowing some whipped cream on his face.

“You should feel more than special, I don’t make my flawless hot chocolate for everyone!” He makes her smile again. “As for Dorota, even if she wasn’t pregnant, I guess she could go on her honeymoon, carefree: now I got you.” He murmurs, skimming the back of her hand. She stares at him intensely, as they both drink from their mugs.

“Well, I mean, as a friend. Former enemy? Frenemy?” He makes her giggle.

“Okay, frenemy. Let’s say I accept your offer. What do you suggest?” “Some relaxing time, far away from Gossip Girl’s radar. In a place like… Brooklyn.” Blair scoffs.

“It’s evident that you spiked your mug with alcohol, because you’re talking nonsense!" 

“I’m perfectly sober and you should start to have a better opinion of my borough: we have tons of fancy bars and museums, such as the Transit one, displaying the earlier subways; or the Historical Society, featuring a very elegant library, or the Navy Yard…” “Okay, okay, Humphrey, you convinced me. Let’s try this Brooklyn immersive experience.” She gives in.

“Really?” He frowns. “Really. So make a good program and make it worth it!” She urges him. “Starting from tomorrow?” Dan asks her. “Why not?” She approves. “I won’t let you down.” He swears. “I know.” She nods.

And both aren’t exactly sure if they’re still talking about the places to visit. “I guess I was right that night at Dorota’s and Vanya’s marriage: your ice is melting for real.” She declares. “Excuse me, so am I the icy one between you and me?” Dan narrows his eyes at her. “More than you can guess. But now that you seem less judgemental, you’re proving to be a person interesting enough to get to know better.” She admits and, although he’s really impressed, he prefers not to say anything. They go on chatting and mostly bickering about anything for a while, until the leftover in their mugs has cooled down a while ago and it’s time for Dan to go. Blair walks him towards the exit door. “Thanks again, Humphrey, for the visit, for the hot chocolate…” she leans out, in an attempt to hug him, which leaves him a little startled, as he inhales her Chanel n.5. “For everything.” She adds, as her lips land on the left corner of his mouth.

- Is it a sort of… stolen kiss? Did I spike her mug with alcohol and I don’t remember? - Dan frowns. -And mostly why did I like it so much?- - What the hell did I just do? I should better check the aphrodisiac properties of dark chocolate and cinnamon, because this is very dangerous!- Blair frowns. - And mostly why does he have to smell so good?-

When they part both of them prefers to just ignore what has just happened, as Blair watches him go. She goes back to her room, where she meets Dorota. “Miss Blair, whatever happened with Lonely Boy downstairs… that sad face of yours seems to have disappeared.” She grins.

Blair doesn’t even know if she should laugh about it… or start to worry.

------------------------------------------ 

Blair probably has spent more time in Brooklyn in that following week than in her whole life. And every day Dan has made sure he had something interesting to show her. She has even found out there’s a Botanic Garden even there. Maybe a tad smaller, but surely pretty. She has appreciated the Transit Museum a lot, found the Historical Society so sophisticated she wonders why it doesn’t belong to the Upper East Side. She has happened to enjoy a lot even the Brooklyn art Library, an Art gallery about Graffiti, the MOFAD and many other things. Maybe their House of Wax can’t even remotely compete with the Madame Tussauds, but she liked the masks of Beethoven, Napoleon, Cromwell, Elisabeth I and many other ones a lot.

And in any of these occasions neither of them mentioned that attempt of stolen kiss. As promised, Dan has managed to keep Blair out of Gossip Girl’s radar. Brooklyn is a lot quieter than the City, but even if some curious passers-by attempted to take some pictures/videos and send them to Gossip Girl, they never happened to be posted. Just because Dan decided to let Blair breathe for a while. And, for some reason, whatever Dan Humphrey wants, Gossip Girl does. As they’re stepping out of the Brooklyn Museum -another place she doubted could be so full of such interesting arts- , she found herself lost in her thoughts.

-Am I liking all this stuff… or am i liking all the time I get to spend with who is showing me all this stuff?-

“To be honest, I didn’t expect you would have liked it so much that the guards politely asked you to just leave, because they were about to close!” Dan chuckles, as they are walking down the street. “Huh?” She absently turns to look at him. “You weren’t listening, were you?” He figures out, but he’s not mad about it. “C’mon, spit it out, what’s wrong? Is it about Chuck?”

“Do you mean because I found out he left the town and after a draining interrogation Nate gave up and confessed he decided to go explore the North East Europe” She shrugs. “If he wants to try and be happy with a model, or an actress, an escort, a peasant girl, a sexy ice fishergirl; who am I to stop him? At least he’s looking for his happiness…”

Blair finds the hand Dan gently places on her shoulder more comforting than she expected.

“And what about you and the search for your own happiness?” “I guess I’m moving my steps.” She smiles at him, a sincere, sweet smile, not a teasing, cocky smirk.

Something Dan would never dream about.

- Does it mean you’re moving those steps towards me? Could I be your happiness? Why doesn’t the idea disgust me at all?- He asks himself.

“And what about you, Humphrey? How is life treating you?” “Oh well, I just found out that my lovely former girlfriend applied for the writing program at the Tisch School of Arts I craved so much; they only could accept one candidate and… guess who did they choose?” “That bitch!” Blair becomes indignant for him. “Yeah, you can say out loud! I mean, she’s a movie maker, why the hell does she need a writing program, too? It’s obvious she just wanted her revenge!” Dan snaps, crushing the paper glass of  the coffee he just finished to drink. “That double bitch!” Blair makes him laugh. “Probably you’re destined for something even more prestigious than Tisch. It’s their loss anyway!” “Brooklyn air is going to your brain, Blair, you’re becoming worryingly kind toward me!” She makes him laugh. “Well, since we both seem to have a lot to celebrate, what about going to drink something?” “That’s a very wise idea!” She approves.

“If you don’t mind a walk of about thirty minutes, there’s a fancy bar I’d like to take you to.” “Just show me the way, Master of Brooklyn!” She agrees. - The point is that lately I don’t mind anything if I’m doing it with you. -  

When they reach the Clover Club Blair must admit it’s fancy enough. Rustic, of course, but in an elegant way.

And when they are already sitting at one of the wooden tables, enjoying their drinks, Martini Dry for Blair, Prosecco for Dan, Dan has an idea. “How about making this evening more interesting?”

“I’m listening…” She looks at him, wondering why he took a book out of his bag and placed it on the table.

And it’s a philosophy anthology.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s for a project I’m working on, but my idea is… why don’t we order a bottle or two of vodka or gin and turn it into a drinking game?” “Just how?” She asks, very up for it, whatever it is. “At turn each of us opens the book, random, and for the philosopher we picked, we must quote something. If it’s depressing enough, the other person has to drink a shot, but if it’s not, who quoted the philosopher has to drink!” “Humprey, someone should name you King of Philosophical drinking spree!” Blair cheers.

Once the bottle of gin and the shot glasses are on the table, their game can start.

“Ladies first.” Dan invites her.

She opens the book quite at the beginning.

“Plato! This is just too easy.” She giggles. “I’m getting you soooo drunk!”

“Just how?” He raises his eyebrow. “The halves theory; when human beings used to be this perfect, whole, utterly happy creatures; before Zeus, envious, just split them in two and from then on they wander on Earth, relentlessly looking for their other half.” “Damn, you’re right, this is depressing!” Dan surrenders, gulping down the first shot. “I spent so much time thinking Chuck was my perfect half, but it’s evident that some parts don’t match up.” She mutters. Dan goes towards the middle of the book and sneers. "Schopenhauer. You’re so doomed, Waldorf.”

“Damn!” She curses, already knowing what he’s about to say. “Life swings like a pendulum backward and forward between pain and boredom!” “Damn Schopenhauer!” Blair grumbles, taking her first shot and grimacing in the process. It’s Blair’s turn again and she picks Kierkegaard. Dan already prepares his shot.

“Humans are defined by their freedom to choose, which creates anxiety, as we face infinite possibilities and no certain answers.” She states, tasting the victory. “Go on, Humphrey, drink, drink!” After he has drunk, he manages to find Nietzsche and giggles.

“Whoooever fights mooonsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaaaze looong enough into an abyssssh, the abyss will gaze back into you.” He quotes, slurring a bit in the process. “Daaaammit, this is too dark not to drink!” Blair gulps down her third shot. Plus, she has not much luck with the following picking.

“Hegel. geeeez. Huh… What is rational is real… and what issh reeal iish rational?” She attempts, but her brain isn’t working so brilliantly anymore.

“I’m really sorry for you, but I don’t find it even remotely depressing.” Dan doesn’t even try to hide his amusement, as he fills her glass. “You lost. Forfeit!”

She drinks again, giggling.

“Okay, you won, happy? Just let’s stop now that I’m still luuuucid enough for it.” She says, sliding her chair closer to Dan’s. “Lucid fooor what?” He stares at her, intrigued. Her only answer, she wraps her arms around his nape and pulls him closer. "Pucker up, Humphrey, a kiss is on its way and thiiis tiiiime I won’t aim just for the coooorner of your mouth!”

TBC

Notes:

14th Jan: geeeez, I've just realized i made a HUGE mistake: at a certain point I mentioned Eva but.. helloo, it's still season 3, she happens in early season 4 , I'm dumb! XD the good thing or having so few interaction is that no one makes you notice your mistakes ^^', I did on my own and corrected it now ;)