I hate when people care about me,I feel uncomfortable when they try to show affection or concern,I wanna push everyone away, when someone try to be nice I become anxious, I hate when people support me, and I don't know what to do cause I realize that how I react to all this is wrong but I really have no idea how to change,like I just feel that those people are faking and wanna hurt me
I am so sorry to hear that you feel so uncomfortable and anxious when others show their concern or love for you. It can definitely be hard trying to accept another’s help or support and especially if we are feeling unworthy of it or feel as though they are faking it and are just trying to hurt us in some way.
Feeling this way is completely valid and sometimes it can be caused by what we have been through and experienced growing up as a child. So for example maybe someone broke your trust and/ or didn’t give you the love and support that you were so deserving of (and still are today) and so you are just not use to feeling like others care about you or are just scared like you mentioned with them faking it and hurting you. Does that make sense? I also want to mention that how you are feeling isn’t wrong but that your experiences don’t match up to how you feel you should be reacting. Just an idea and something to think about!
It can be so hard to change your thinking and behaviours to another but it is not impossible. One thing that I have found for me that has been really helpful is talking to someone like a counsellor or a therapist in regards to what is happening to me and exploring why I might be feeling or acting in a certain way. I won’t lie, this won’t be easy and eventually you will find that you have to let someone in, but starting small can often be helpful and so starting to try and accept another’s concern and love for you just one person at a time can be a little less overwhelming and confronting.
In terms of feeling anxious, focusing on your breathing and slowing it down can be helpful. We also have a page on calming and anxiety and panic which I encourage you to check out when you are feeling ready and able to do so. The most important thing in recovery and changing our feelings and behaviour towards something or someone is that we do it when we feel ready and comfortable doing so. Recovery is not a race but rather it is a destination of where you want to get to in life!
As already mentioned, getting some professional help may be helpful for you in starting to change how you feel when others show their care for you. If though seeing someone face to face is just too much for you right now (which is completely OK) then you can always contact a counsellor from either a helpline or on web counselling. We also have a page on getting help which may be beneficial for you to check out!
I really hope that this has helped a bit and that over time you are able to allow other people into your life a bit more. Remember to start small though and build it up from there at a pace that you feel comfortable with!
Please know that I am thinking of you and wish you all the best!
