#getoverme

Last interaction November 20, 2018.

“Happy Birthday month gorgeous girl! I think it’s the 15th but just wasn’t positive and didn’t want to miss it. This month is all about you and your happiness, I hope it is everything wonderful you want it to be. I miss you and think of you and our time together often, I cherish every moment we had. this is your time and I hope life is treating you well and your happy. Know that there is always a man who loves you, wants what is best for you, and knows you were created by Gods hands as the most beautiful woman in the world. I love you.”

What’s wrong with this picture?

IT' FROM AN EX and HE TEXT ME AT 5 O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING!!!

It’s not my birthday month. My birthday is in June. (I guess he got my bday confused with the deadline for filing his taxes (April 15th)

We haven’t dated since 2011. (What is that like 5 yrs.???)

He is “supposedly” in a relationship and they have a child together

It Was 5 o’clock in the Morning!!!!!!!!!!!

First off…What the Hell is wrong with Him?? Even if it were my “birthday month” it’s is unnecessary, rude, and inconsiderate to text me that early in the morning!!  I don’t care what time zone you’re in you need to be mindful of the time zone I’m in before you go texting me. I have issues staying asleep throughout the night and the last thing I need is a frivolous text in the wee hours of the morning.  Next, the fact that you he has my birthday month wrong is also inexcusable since we are (were) connected on FaceBook and FB lets you know when it’s someone’s bday. (I’m certain there was no reminder for my bday that is two months from now!!!) Perhaps the fact we haven’t dated in almost five years contributes to him not knowing my date of birth; as it should. Actually, the whole idea of me and our time together should elude him by now. This guy has been in a relationship with another woman for a while and they have a child. As a matter of fact, some time last year this same guy hit me up on FB Messenger to tell me he wanted to visit Dallas and would love it if we could get together while he was in town. Before I could reply, which would have been “No,” said girlfriend/baby mama hit me back via his messenger account and told me they were in a relationship and he would not be coming to Dallas or seeing Me. I didn’t respond, but I wanted to say “Thank you girl!! He’s all yours!!”

So Why? Why do exes feel the need and think its ok to come slivering back in our lives? ……

This guy is far from the first ex that has reached out long after we’ve broken up. As a matter of fact I had two more hit me up just this week. Perhaps it happens to me more often because I have dated a lot of guys, but I know this is not an isolated scenario because it happens to my other single girlfriends.  Is it because we’re still “single” and they think we’re holding out for them to come back to us??? Well We’re NOT! We’re single, but not desperate or sitting around pining away for our exes. We’ve moved on and they should too! Don’t get me wrong I have an ex or two that I wonder what could have been if I had given them a second chance. Would I have the husband and family that I desire?? Or would I have just wasted more time? I’ve even given an ex another shot believing that perhaps the timing was off and this time would be different….Guess What? It didn’t work! The issue that broke us up initially usually rears its ugly head or an entirely new one arises and once again we’re Exes. I’m not saying that things can’t work with an ex, but the odds are usually not so good.

What I hate more than anything is when you see or talk to an ex and they say “we could have been married and had kids by now.” That phrase really fucks with you!! My girlfriend just had this experience with one of her exes. Their relationship was all kinds of twisted. I won’t go into details because that’s her business to tell not mine. Anyway he treated her well and they had great times together, but in the end he ended up marrying someone else. Now here we are six years later and she meets up with him while visiting Atlanta. He is now divorced, has gained weight and has two children under the age of two that are not by his ex-wife. All that is well and fine until he says to her “We could have been married with kids” And “I’d give you a baby if you wanted one.”  I Died when she told me this….Was he for real??? Yes, yes he was and we both knew his crazy ass was so for real, but No matter how for real he is we don’t want our exes ex’s leftovers. We don’t want you when you’re all used up and have extra baggage that you didn’t have when we dated!! What’s more important is that what he’s saying to her hurts, because in a way he is saying I chose a divorce and a babies’ mama over you! Now that’s not the reality of the situation, but it feels that way until you snap yourself out of it and realize you probably dodged a bullet.

In their own little minds these guys probably mean well and don’t feel there is anything wrong with what they’re doing or saying.  I will admit the content of the text from my ex was very nice and I’d appreciate those words from someone I cared about, but from him it’s creepy and unwanted. I’m sure there are some women out there that don’t agree with me and may find a text from an ex as flattering and even think this guy’s gesture is sweet and thoughtful. Maybe you’re out there longing for one of your exes to reach out to you, but for me this text is not sweet, thoughtful, or Flattering!!  For my exes to text or messenger me after more than 2yrs is insulting. Yes, it’s insulting to think that I have nothing going on or no one in my life so you can just come back in and pick up where we left off. Also, they’re showing total disregard for the current man in my life. They’re basically saying fuck it I don’t care if you’re involved I’m going to hit you up anyway, which is just Rude. Luckily the guy I’m dating wasn’t with me the night I received this text so I didn’t have to explain why my phone was going off at the butt crack of dawn and there was no emergency. However, there have been times in my past when an exes out of nowhere text did require explaining and cause an argument. These seemingly innocuous text can cause more harm then intended.

For me a text from my ex is like a reminder of something I wanted in the past  that has come back to antagonize me and it is sort of a reminder of what is eluding me….love, marriage & family. It’s like them saying “you still don’t have that which eludes you with or without me.” Although it feels that way I know deep down that’s not the truth and that God removed them from my life for a reason and that if and when I get out of God’s way the man he has for me will come and I’ll have Love, Marriage, and A Family.