#gerrononsense

Thomas was a spritely young lad with enough strength and energy to quickly outmatch his father in life.

Due to his stable nature Tom was very settled. He met Molly, a beautiful local woman and agreed to take over the family farm so his folks could go on a long pilgrimage like they had always dreamed. He quickly proposed and married his sweetheart.

Tom kept the crops well for years without a hitch. Just as he was really beginning to think life was just one big cake walk the darkness came.

Molly who had just recently had her first child saw it first. She wanted to move, she felt they belonged elsewhere. Thomas had none of it and refused to leave his home.

She begged to find a new place to raise their child.

“I was born here and I’ve had such a fantastic life. This is a good place for our little Sam, we don’t know where we’ll end up or if we’ll ever make it somewhere as safe and as comfortable as here. This is what’s best for us Molly”

So they stayed.

One day Thomas was out in the fields that he noticed a problem. He was making his way inside when he noticed a lump of fluffy white mould on the ground. When he knelt to inspect it and realised it was one of his crops he felt an uneasy feeling creep into his gut.

Quickly word started up around the town that the disease that was affecting all the local crops was affecting as far north as Dublin and Galway, probably further.

It wasn’t long that the desperate feeling began to take hold, the feeling that you are in the centre of a very large ocean in a very small boat.

People began to leave, hoping to find somewhere better in their travels. Nothing green seemed to grow anymore, the land was all but baron.

Word travelled that it was better to head for the cities and coastlines looking for help. As the ability to stay in this ever grim town with any chance of survival diminished Tom went to Molly with a terribly heavy heart.

“Molly” He said softly “I can see now that you were right, we should have left. I’m so sorry my love, I’m responsible for this”

Molly gave her be sorrowed husband a warm hug. When she pulled away there were tears in her eyes “I haven’t told you everything” She fought to remain composed and clear “I saw our deaths long ago and I knew that there was nothing I could have done to change it. I’m so sorry my love. I know I shouldn’t have kept this side of myself from you. I can offer one small comfort…” She added slowly as she tried to gauge her husbands reaction “…I can promise you that even though this situation seems to be the end, we will make it through okay”

There was silence as she finished her sentence. Thomas was frozen solid as he stared at this woman who he had lived with for so long. ‘What in gods name is going on?’ He thought ‘She saw our deaths…?’

All of the pent of trauma inflicted upon Thomas by the iron fist of his parents religion surfaced with a vengeance and he was bombarded by searing twisting images of dark demons and witches wielding power mortals could only dream of.

“Speak to me Tom, please” Molly whispered.

Tom took a rigid step back his eyes suddenly shrouded in suspicion and fear he did his best to hide. He turned and left the room.

For days all Tom could do was shake with anger. He had blamed himself for the passing of their starving son but now he was confronted with this darkness. A punishment surely, since he had dared to think life had nothing that he couldn’t handle. He was so angry, so scared but still he could not bring himself to leave the place he once loved and called home. If he did he would have nothing left.

There was little to no communication between him and his wife after that. Tom couldn’t even bare to look her in the eyes anymore.

With each passing day he would look out upon his once lush and life giving land, and with each baron day his small heart would shrink a little more.

The days were becoming so painfully long and sluggish mixed in with the biting cold whose teethmarks would leave one numb and shaking.

Tom slowly opened his eyes one grey afternoon and immediately he knew this was the day, he could feel the difference in the air. Death was fast approaching.

It was like breathing in a large echoing underwater cavern despite him lying in his bedroom. He moved his head to the side to see the woman he once believed was his sweet Molly.

She lay on the couch on the other side of the room almost completely lifeless except for her clutching onto what was once her sons favourite blanket.

With painfully slow movements and a tremendous effort Tom lifted himself to sitting. He slowly got onto his feet and shuffled over to the filthy window squinting to see out. Reaching up to turn the latch Tom opened the window, letting a blast of freezing air to swirl into the room. The air didn’t bother him as he leaned on the window cill and took a deep breath. He took a quiet moment to prepare to climb out and end this sad life once and for all. He ran his eyes over the landscape offering a final goodbye to his long lasting love.

As he looked his eyes picked out a tiny almost neon green dot on the floor. Frowning he leaned forward trying to get a better view to see what it was. His body seemed almost to gasp of its own volition as he realised what it was, a little budding plant shoot poking out of the dirt.

It was so vibrantly green it was almost painful. He peered closer wondering why? Or how?

Just then he noticed a crack of sunlight split through the impenetrable grey sky and land directly upon the plant bud, as if some higher force was smiling and urging the little life to survive.

Thomas felt his heart beating for the first time in ages, he hadn’t seen sunlight in so long and it was soo beautiful.

He suddenly had the overwhelming desire to go to the plant bud. Of course in his condition that seemed like a daunting task. Also there was a feeling coming over him that there wasn’t much time, death was so close now he could feel its spacious coldness in his lungs.

In a hurry he pushed his old form from the window ledge and he turned.

As he did the demon shaped like Molly opened her eyes and for the first time since she had revealed her dark secret they looked at each other. Tom immediately felt cold again like what little energy he had she had drained it. The beauty of the flower remained like a tiny voice urging him onward. He glared at the demon with determination to show her that he would not stop until he was actually dead. At least that’s what he had intended to convey with his look, however for some reason he just found himself frowning. He looked into those eyes but was somewhat surprised when there were no floods of black magic or terror coming to meet him.

Suddenly an inner turmoil rose in him ‘What if he’d been wrong. Or perhaps this was just another one of her sadistic tricks’.

Tom let out a long breath he’d been holding tense and made up his mind. Wether is was dark magic covering her true nature or not he knew he could not meet death without having tried to save this soul.

“Molly…” His old voice croaked, breaking the age old silence “…there’s a small green bud in a ray of sunshine outside. Come and see it, it may be the last beautiful thing we will ever have the privilege to witness”

“I can’t move” She whispered back as her eyes flashed many different emotions at once, he own stiff hatred and anger mixed with sadness and pain all giving way to a guarded curiosity.

Tom grunted with effort as he made his way across the room to her “I can help” He offered out a hand.

She just lay there, staring at him for several agonising minutes. Tom could feel his time on earth like a backpack full of sand slipping quickly out of a slit near the bottom. He wanted to leave her if she was going to be indecisive but once again he knew he needed to do his best to help if these really were his final moments, he would never again get the chance.

“Alight then” The small voice sounded as she nodded and ever so slowly began to shift and crack into movement. As fast as he could Tom reached down and grasped her hands. She had to drop her sons blanket. Toms mind had been jumbled and messy recently, a mind atrophying that had a hard time thinking straight. However right now in this moment, he felt like a live electric wire with full charge and completely clear. He pulled Molly to her feet extracting many grunts and gasps of wheezing air form both of them. With teeth gritting slowness they headed for the door.

Tom noticed curiously that the colours in his vision seemed to pulse with a long forgotten brightness and sharpness.

The hallway outside the room was long and dark and the stairway and the end steep and treacherous. They edged their way through the hallway using every available bit of wall and/or handrail to steady themselves on one side, while leaning on each other to steady themselves on the other side. They made it to the stairs and had to simply inch down one careful step at a time. Tom could feel his bag of sand getting empty with each thud and step they took. They eventually made it safely to the bottom, both breathing ragged and weak. Tom reached up and opened the front door. He staggered back as the door swung open nearly knocking him off his feet. Molly recoiled as the wind from outside rushed in, mercilessly snatching whatever warmth it could find. Making a huge effort Tom grabbed her sleeve just about saving her from collapsing.

With nothing to support them as they left through the front door Tom cursed as he felt the weight of gravity clawing at his shoulders trying to take him down, not to mention holding up Molly’s feeble form. The promise of getting close to something so green and bright and alive however did seem to offer him some strength. He shouldered the weight and took one step after another as he guided the two of them through the moaning elements. The bitter cold wind snatched at his eyes making them water as he tried to keep peering forward looking for the patch green. He cursed his weak body as his knees began to knock together only barely keeping him going. But he refused to stop.

It felt like walking over a glacier as they trudged over the cracked frozen dirt. The wind howled in his ears carrying bizarre sounds he couldn’t recognise. Molly kept looking left and right with a kind of weary curiosity about her.

Tom felt his numb fingers slip and suddenly the change in weight sent him sprawling on the floor. He gasped as incredibly sharp and real waves of pain rippled up and down his body.

He cursed in despair.

His little old voice barely carried beyond his mouth. It seemed that it was over, he was unable to operate his body and the pain was like standing under a -30 degree waterfall.

Tom was about to give up everything and die right there, when he lifted his gaze to see the little green bud only inches in front of him. The little spot of sunlight was still shining, its warmth felt like a warm blanket. Despite his awful state and the constant buzz of pain in his probably broken shoulder he smiled.

Suddenly he saw Molly come into view. She knelt down beside him looking as vibrant and healthy as the day they first met. Beside her little Samuel was standing looking at the scene with a wide cheeky grin etched onto his face young healthy face. The flower was like it’s own light source and its light seemed to pierce straight through Toms cluttered mind. His eyes brightened as he felt weights dropping off him, like he had been holding a mountain together simply because he had thought he was supposed to, but now he could let it all go. He finally felt a lightness wash through the pain and bring his weary mind to a calm comfortable stillness.

“Well done my love” Molly rested a hand on his shoulder “You know you gave us all a real scare there” She laughed lightly her perfectly delicate voice like the sound of raindrops.

“I…” Tom spasmed as he tried to move his body “…I don’t understand”

“Oh Thomas you can come out of there now” She offered “It looks painful”

He tried again to move his body, his expression twisting in confusion as it completely refused to listen.

Molly shook her head in amusement “Here” She said in a hushed voice then she leaned down and gave him a soft kiss.

The warmth of her lips felt like electric water flooding through his body. He gasped again but this time his muscles responded appropriately and he arched his back in a big stretch. This seemed to be just enough yet too much for his old body and immediately he felt like someone who’d been incased in a suit of iron and all the clasps had just been undone.

He stood up feeling not just at ease, but stronger and more alive than he ever had. He looked at the form of his wife and understanding swept through him, not unlike the wind that had only recently been a formidable foe. He still had no idea what was going on but he could feel its correctness. He looked down and was mildly surprised to see his old body still lying there. It looked like a crumpled broken mess, except for the big smile spread across his face. Molly’s body was just behind him also with a slight upturn at the corner of her lips.

“We are dead?!” He half asked half announced

Molly smiled at him coyly and winked. Tom looked into his sons face and felt himself beam at the little being who grinned radiating love back. Samuel suddenly clapped happily and squeaked with excitement as a big bright light spilled over the land. Thomas squinted up to see the source, all he could make out was the entire sky becoming brighter and brighter as if they were being approached by a sun. He was about to ask what this was when memories funnelled through his mind.

He remembered looking out over large Shepard herds for many lifetimes, he could remember living on landscapes of all kinds. From frozen cold to dry hot flatlands and different mountain regions constantly observing the beautiful horizons of this lively little earth. He remembered making his way across glaciers and deserts always patient, and always with this deep feeling of belonging to the land and the land belonging to him. The land was his first and last love. The energy he connected to, through it, came rushing to the surface of this dismal rotting area he had recently been inhabiting. Tom looked up and watched a shining spherical shape, barley visible through the intense wall of light getting ever brighter and closer. Though the intensity of the atmosphere was incredibly charged Tom calmly took his wife’s hand in his right and his Sons in his left.

The intensity reached a peak where suddenly there was nothing but that pure brilliant white glittering all around them. It was incredible, like standing at the centre of an exploding sun without the slightest bother. Then like a balloon that reaches the end of its elasticity, it all erupted outward. The pure white popped away to reveal a huge variety of incredible colours coating this once grey land.

Everything from the tiniest piece of dirt to the wind itself shone with a hard to place but very much there, breathing, shining beauty. Thomas’s entire being seemed to have entered a dimension of pure orgasm and he shuddered with energy.

He looked around at the now vividly colourful land and pursed his lips. With an excited burst of energy he let out a long achingly lovely soft sound. The whistle echoed through the atmosphere, sounding like whales do as they call and sing to each other.

From every inch of space around them they got a response. A beautiful melodious voice rang out.

The space all around is glittering darkness. A little speck of light drifts through the open nothing.

Thoughts pass through the consciousness of this little light source.

‘This is strange’ The little light thinks as it floats, seemingly without agency or control, not that this is a problem of course. Even if she could move intentionally where would she go? ‘It’s odd’ The thoughts ponder on ‘That despite there being nothing here and no one it’s not a scary place at all. In fact it is immensely beautiful and peaceful just floating along.

The light quickly learns that though she cannot seem to move through space in any direction she can still change her own shape and play games with her light rays. Free floating like this is incredible to experience like having nothing to give you pause or worry, like being totally free. The little light lets the many tendrils of brightness float far, like many octopus arms feeling outward in an unknown environment. Then a few more tendrils of lights and they all started to sway gently as the light began to dance slowly.

It felt like a lifetime that emerges now in the memory of being a fish and seeing the way blood moves and swirls when released into water, or similar to another memory of being a human child watching wisps of smoke in fascination as they curled and shifted magically through the air.

The light caught herself up in a bind of thought ‘That’s not right is it?’ The thoughts argued as she spun gently turning over her light and thought seemingly in the same movement ‘If I have been a fish, a human, and now a light, then what does that make me?’

She dove, spreading and blazing brightly, as she examined her own thoughts ‘Lets see I remember being human many times’ As she zipped through lifetimes she noticed she flashed an ever so slightly different shade of marvellous colour.

She remembered the deep calm spiky red colour that was present in her life as a huge man who had physically wrestled a wild bore and won.

She remembered a light pinkish round purple colour as she was a thin scrawny man on a hunger strike to protest the wrong doings of the kingdom, only a handful of others had the courage to stand with her.

She remembered being a short plump woman making breakfast for her kids as her husband kissed her sweetly on the back of the neck, the colour was a deep humming pink that radiated from her centre and blazed with an intense brightness.

The little light remembered being other things, like a ferret with its quick heart racing as it dashed through the underbrush, a squirrel as it scampered up a tree, a bear as it lay down to hibernate for the winter. She even had vague memories of being a plant swaying in a summer breeze.

‘What is this all about’ She wondered. Just then the glittering darkness produced its first sign of something. A tiny speck of light came into existence. It was very far away but nonetheless it was something. Excitement buzzed through her and the edges of her light fuzzed and hummed as it illumined bright, demonstrating her eagerness to meet something other than herself. She wondered for a moment how she would move toward it until she realised she already was, somehow focusing her attention on it was moving her toward it. In all her excitement she discovered she could make sound. Overjoyed she sang a loud high pitched ringing coming from somewhere within her and echoing out into the shining blackness. She happily let loose all the different sounds she could make. She found she could make all sorts of whistling and waving tones. Since she was nowhere near any objects she had thought the sound would disappear but amazingly every sound was not only heard but in fact seemed to take on a life of its own, echoing back and fourth through the space like a beautiful symphony. As she was singing and sailing through space suddenly the little light source she was heading towards disappeared. Before she had time to wonder about this the light came back on. Thinking this was something the other light was doing she wondered if it was possible for her to do the same.

Just then a dark feeling came over her, like standing in the shadow of a large intimidating castle guard as he sneered down at her. He didn’t care about her hunger strike or any of the pain on innocent lives being inflicted by his king. She immediately stopped making sounds and her light dimmed dangerously low. Her colour changed to a sickly yellow red and waves of fear rippled threateningly through the air.

She remembered being sick and tired due to lack of food as the guard reached down and simply lifted her hunger stricken body off the floor “You lying scum” He grinned toothlessly as he held her up to his rancid smelling mouth “You sold out that poor family”

She frowned as she tried to keep reality and her memories seperate, she was pretty sure this wasn’t the real memory. The guard had simply picked her up and tossed her into a ditch, so why was she remembering talking now?

The guards grin widened and immediately a flood of memories poured through her of being a banker. She had been crying a lot because she had signed off on some repossessing papers for the Shmidd family home. She new that the husband had recently died leaving Mrs Shmidd alone with 4 kids and apparently no friends or family to help. Three of the kids were under ten years old at the time of the repossession. Roughly a year later Mrs Shmidd had taken her own life leaving the children to an orphanage. She’d tried to make up for her horrendous act by visiting the kids from time to time and bringing gifts but she never struck up the courage to tell them what she did and she never forgave herself. She died alone in her flat at age 50, the cause was heart failure.

The castle guard broke into guttural laughter as the little light felt her heart breaking all over again. The very real and visceral pain stung her to her core and her light dimmed even more.

She could see that it wasn’t that the other light source from a moment ago had turned on and off, she now realised that if her light went out it would not just be death but something much much worse. The reason the light had blinked on and off a moment ago was because it had been temporarily blocked by a huge dark mass that had drifted in between her and the other light source.

“What are you?” She whispered feeling an intense lack of energy or life force and a lot of fear.

The dark shape moved closer to her so she could see and a feeling of horror crawled over her being. She was looking at swirling black chaos as it formed into the shape of the boar she killed, then to the castle guard who beat her, to the fisherman who pulled her out of the water and bludgeoned her to death, and of course the twisted and tourtured faces of those four kids who never stood a chance in life.

“I’m so sorry” She barely managed over the splitting pain that was wrenching at her centre “What do you want?” She pleaded “I’ll do anything”

Suddenly a thought came to her ‘Go back’. Maybe if she lived her next life saintly enough it would balance out the wrong she had done “I’ll go back” She offered desperately. As she said it one of her light tendrils broke away and was immediately consumed by the swirling dark mass.

The little light felt the creature reach out, it slowly penetrated her light reaching for her centre, at the same time this crushing feeling of despair set in.

Just then like a thunderbolt there was a flash so brilliantly bright that the entire space was illuminated. In that flash she finally saw clearly what she was conversing with. She recoiled in horror to see what could only be described as some experiment gone wrong in an attempt to fuse a giant fish and human body together. It’s grotesque features leaked with dark fluid like it was crying and vomiting constantly. The dark fluid leaked from its eyes, ears, nose and from every visible pour. It was staring at her with huge empty eyes as it hungrily reached for her again. The little light had no idea of how to get away so it was all she could do to shiver and shift through incredibly uncomfortable feelings of thick slime and of little things crawling through her light.

Another point of light hovered close to her, she realised it was the one that had emitted the bright flash a moment ago. This light was big and radiated an intense but deep earthy glow with forest green waves dancing and playing with cool aquamarine blues and whites, like crashing foamy seawater.

She felt one of his light beams softly murmur to her. She couldn’t understand what was being said but she felt so much peace and gentleness she instinctively let herself open baring her centre without any disguise or protection of any kind. The second she did this the awful human/fish cloud rushed toward her with a force that would crush a mountain. However the other point of light was quick and he exploded a pulse of black light that looked similar to the glittering darkness itself. The pulse was all encompassing. It wasn’t bright and it wasn’t dark. For the duration of its movement it simply seemed to erase everything for a moment. In this moment of confusion the other point of light floated closer and joined with the little light source. She felt the joining as if she were on autopilot in her own light. An incredible warm glow suddenly coursed through her as the two points of light were now one. The colour they now emitted was similar to the pine green aquatic colours from him but there was more now. She also noticed they were beaming golden sparks pulsing with a steady magenta pink.

“It’s okay” Came a voice from within her “Relax now, no harm will come to you but pay attention” There was a sense of urgency in the last request as the creature with was thundering angrily came flooding toward them. The little light realised she had no control anymore at all and just observed as they tumbled and swayed constantly just out of reach of the monster. The angrier it got the louder and more rattlingly chaotic everything got. Grateful she had help the little light gave all her attention to focus on what was happening.

As they dodged and weaved around the dark creature they passed horrendous images of violence, pain and twisted messes of screaming life. Some looked like real living bodies and others seemed more like holographic images in its flashing clouds of turmoil. She watched as their own centre of light moved through wildly different shapes, colours and sizes all drawing from the golden sparks and pink pulse as if they were the energy source. She watched as they split into two, three sometimes even five seperate light sources that whirred around the monster only to join into one again out of reach. The creatures rage seemed to reach a boiling point and the noise became practically visible as jutting bolts of blood red lightening began sparking furiously inside the dark cloud.

“Now!”came the voice “Quick!”

Without fully knowing what now meant but once again relying on some instinct within her she let her energy and power pour into a tension and like jumping to super-speed they caught onto one of the bolts of the creature and shot forward at a rate she had no reference to describe to herself. The moment only lasted a split second but when it stopped they were once again floating in peaceful glittering emptiness.

“In here” Called the voice as if from a distance.

She thought it was a funny idea but somehow it made sense anyway that she could go inward. So she did. Nothing but pure light was all there was.

The light extended and seemed to condense around her although she couldn’t make sense of where it was or what it was doing. She continued to stare in mild confusion until she heard laughter. It was such a wonderful light rumble. Like happy thunder way off in the distance “You have to open your eyes to see”

With a shock she realised she did have eyes now and they were in fact closed. She opened her eyes and just lay there gazing up at her surroundings. She was gazing at the tops of tall trees of all different kinds. The trees stretched and wound their way up toward the sky which was covered by the vibrant green leaves sprouted from the sturdy branches that had little woodland creatures running to and fro. She sat up slowly taking in the bed of bright green and yellow moss and fallen leaves that made up the forest floor. She inhaled a deep rich breath of fresh air.

After a few moments gazing listlessly at the chirping woods surrounding her she turned her attention to her body. It was a woman’s body with long tan arms and legs and a lot of buzzing energy. Every time she she took a breath it was as if she was breathing through not just her lungs and mouth but also through the pores in her skin. A tall proud looking stag with magnificent antlers who had been wandering past stopped. It swung it’s head toward her it’s bone structure of antlers like a crown of tree branches faced her directly. underneath this its wide dark eyes regarded her curiously.

“Hi” She whispered in a soft voice reaching a limp hand out as if she could stroke it from here.

It sniffed the air before moving slowly toward her. The animal stopped just out of arms reach and stretched it head forward. She reached out to touch its wet nose. A small giggle escaped her lips as the stag moved closer now nudging her shoulder. She scratched its neck marvelling at how incredibly soft and fluffy it was on the surface despite the power she could feel in its thick relaxed muscles. It suddenly pulled back but kept its eyes locked on hers.

She hesitated.

The stag swung its head to look into the woods then back to her with a loud sniff. She followed its line of sight to see someone swinging from tree branches a little way off into the distance. The stag then turned and pranced away.

She felt a little disappointed the stag left but she decided to go to this swinging monkey or person whatever it was. She made her way cautiously through the woods feeling giddy and light but still aware that she had nothing to protect her bare feet if she stepped on a sharp rock or thorn. The trees around her were ringing with all sorts of bright sounds like the chirping and squeaking of little animals and birds to the gentle rustle of leaves all sounding like calming singsong voices and melodies.

“HEY!” She called out as she neared the figure high in the trees. It was remarkable that she found it difficult to keep up with him despite being on level ground as he moved through the maze of branches effortlessly swinging from one to another barely making a sound “HEY!” She shouted again “YOU UP THERE!”

She saw him stop moving and peer down at her “Up where?” Came the reply. She thought she caught a glimpse of bright green eyes in the far away face, they looked very familiar but she couldn’t quite place it. A friend in another life perhaps.

“I’M TALKING TO YOU!” She cupped her hands around her mouth to shout up.

“Yeah but who says I’m up there?”

She nearly jumped out of her skin as his voice answered right beside her. She whirled and looked down to see him kneeling down and closely observing a tree trunk that had a patch of some kind of rot or fungus growing in it. He placed a hand over the area and a wave of pure calm feel over the clearing. The tree then shuddered as he relaxed and patted it gently. The rot, as if going through a time warp, suddenly darkened then crumbled to nothing. Immediately in its space new wood began to grow until finally a little layer of bark had completely reappeared, completing the process, and leaving a little glowing patch of barely detectable green.

She looked back up into the tree branches expecting to see the man climbing down but there was nobody up there. She looked back to him “How did you…do that?” She finished slowly

“Well” He rubbed his hands together vigorously as he got to his feet and moved toward the edge of the clearing where there was a little rock pool “If you can tap into the right feeling and communicate it well then there’s very few things that won’t respond to you”

“No…not that…” She frowned as he bent over washing his hands in the little rock pool “I mean weren’t you just up in the tree”

He stood and finally faced her fully “Are you sure that’s what you want to talk about?” He smiled gently at her his brilliant green aquamarine eyes searching hers.

She gasped “You” There was no mistaking the strange but lovely mix of colour and vibrancy “You’re the other light” With this realisation came a jarring knot in her gut “So that was real in that…other place with that…awful thing”

His eyes softened sympathetically “You are safe now but nothing lasts forever. Why don’t you ask your questions?”

She shook her head dispelling images of dark sickly tendrils coming toward her “Where are we?…And where were we a moment ago?” She then looked at her hands and frowned “Who’s body is this?”

“Let’s start with the easy one” He chuckled lightly as he beckoned her over to the rock pool and pointed at the surface of the water “Take a look”

She tentatively walked to it and looked down. She was stunned by the piercing eyes staring widely back at her. Her face was soft and had a resting look of nearly smiling. She had high proud cheekbones and a strong almost masculine jaw. The stunning feeling came from the familiarity she felt as she looked into the face she had worn before. Memories of hunting and moving stealthily through woodlands on a hunt, memories of dancing through the night with the rest of her tribe around a giant blazing fire, the streaks of body paint slowly being sweated into new shapes as it was carried by the heat and momentum of the ecstatic dancing.

“As for where we are” He continued “We are inside what you would know as a dimension. This particular world is one of my favourites, of all the beautiful worlds I’ve designed none take my breath away quite like here”

“You made this place” She turned to him questioningly

“Yes”

“But…how?”

“We are all sparks from infinite creativity, once you learn that it is simply a matter of removing that which blocks you from yourself. Then you can create” He turned and slowly began to wander off through the woods motioning for her to follow.

“I have a question for you if you would allow?”

“Of course”

“What is your name?”

She found the question odd for some reason but put that thought aside and tried to remember what it was. She thought for several minutes of silence until finally she remembered what people used to call her in this body “I’m Samina” She replied confidently.

He gave her a funny look and shook his head “I’m not asking the name of the body you are in, I’m asking for your name?”

Her face creased in confusion “I don’t understand?”

He stopped walking beside a tree and held out his arm. A little squirrel that had been watching hopped joyfully onto his forearm and ran up to sit on his shoulder “Take this little one for example. His name is…” He made a few distinct chirping noises and the squirrel squeaked excitedly and scratched at his hair “…now when he leaves this body as you did yours he will only be that name as part of a memory. That says nothing about the real name that belongs to him. The name of the energy that brings life and movement into the body”

She thought again as the squirrel moved back down his arm and leapt into her arms with an excited burst. She caught him and couldn’t help but smile at the little creature who scurried up her arm and on top of her head before launching off once again to catch onto a tree trunk. Turning away she shook her head “I don’t know that. How can I find out?”

“You find something that fits so well it feels as though it was placed in existence for only you” He declared loudly as they continued to walk.

“So what’s yours then?” She asked

He laughed heartily as they came to the edge of the forest to see an overwhelmingly stunning sunset that scorched the sky a deep golden red shimmering off the white fluffy clouds as it set behind the deep green rolling hills full of rustling plants and grazing families of animals. Some of the animals looked familiar like cows and sheep while others looked more like strange dinosaurs with long necks and sweeping tails.

“My name is Tsuringam Marsak Florangam!”

She smiled and let out a giggle as the sound seemed to prime the atmosphere with a pleasant buzz.

“You’ll know yours when you find it” He assured as everything settled once more “Right now I have something important to tell you” He tuned to her and she could feel a serious edge come into his tone “That darkness that you were getting tangled up with…” He paused “…it’s what’s out there to counteracts all this” He motioned to her “It will convince you that your thoughts are more real than you and when that happens you will have surrendered your centre. If you do this then you are finished as who and what you are”

She hung her head as a wave of self pity and sadness washed over her “It used real memorise of a past life. I just wanted to go back and show that I didn’t mean any harm, I just wanted to help”

He suddenly spoke a word she couldn’t make out. The second he said it however she felt deeply moved to her core, she wanted to burst with joy and bellow her excitement for life, but at the same moment she also felt such a sweet sting of eternal loss and sadness. Her eyes welled with tears and she shivered on the spot unable to do anything appropriate in the face of such polarising but all encompassing feelings.

“Listen to me” He continued in a very gentle but firm voice “There is no such thing as going back, nothing and no one can re-create exactly what has already been. Until you reach the safe glow you must be vigilant and watchful. There will be others of these thoughts and entities that will offer, ask and/or threaten to take you over. Respond to nothing unless it has the creators signature” “How will I know” She trembled

“How did you know to open to me?”

“S…So you’ve taken me over?”

His face fell to an almost apologetic expression “Yes, I have. When you opened yourself I assumed control and for that I am so sorry, this would be considered a very grave offence but had I not then you would no longer be”

“It’s okay” She gave him a small smile “If it was either you or that thing then I know which I would have chosen anyway”

He didn’t return the smile, his eyes shone with a sadness “Don’t forgive me until you understand”

She stared into his deep wide eyes seeing a sadness for her that she couldn’t yet comprehend and beyond that nothing but pure love.

“I’m going to let go now” He spoke in barely a hushed whisper but she was certain she would have heard it perfectly even thousands of miles away “Just remember to find and hold your centre, with that nothing can hurt you. Nothing else matters other than your centre right in the instant that you feel it”

“Wait!” She snapped a little to hastily as she felt her heartbeat rising in the grip of panic “Why do you have to go can’t you stay?”

He shook his head “I’m so sorry, I really am”

“W…well can’t I come with you?” She took a step forward “I…I’ll follow you…anywhere…I…” “NO!” The single word sliced through her with a resounding firmness “It’s time now that I continue on my path and you on yours”

“But I don’t know my path” She broke down with fresh tears in her eyes.

He took a step closer to her, his large bright eyes telling of the saddest love story she had every seen “Goodbye now” He gently took her hands. The second they touched she felt the world explode back into that pure brilliant light once again. The endless expanse of light then seemed to be fading slowly. It took several moments for her to realise that it was not fading but in fact getting smaller and smaller as the seperate point of light drifted away from her. The light that had just saved her. Going…going…

She burned a blazing colour display of luminous blue and lava red as she let out a piercing sound for the pain of suddenly being so alone once again.

Then through the shining black as if carried by a gentle breeze came a melody that soothed her like cold water over a burn.

“Go little light and find your spark, find your purpose through the dark.

Dance little light and let memories go, let your life light and colours flow.

Don’t be afraid for we are always your mentor.