#german! reader

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It all had happened so fast.

Shortly after Tommy and his brothers had enlisted and were shipped off to France, he had stood in the middle of what hundreds of men would later describe as utter hell.

There was no way out of it. They all knew. They all were so fucking utterly terrified. They all had hoped to someday be rid of those memories, but they would all be haunted by them for the rest of their lives.

He would have never ever deemed it possible that he could have found something like her, a literal angel, in this place. In this literal hell.

But sometimes life likes to play games with you.

Even after many years, he could still remember that day as if it were yesterday.

And this time not because the faces of his dead comrades appeared in his dreams, not because the screams of the desperate men reached his ears, and not because the voices of his enemies pursuing him echoed in his head, all out there to haunt him until god finally decides to set him free, not until God had finally thought Thomas Shelby was punished enough.

No, he remembered so well because he had met her.

Tommy had already had experiences with women, he definitely was no saint. No, more on the contrary even ... but the moment he had laid his eyes on her? Just like in the good damn fucking movies.

His heart had almost slipped into his pants and his mouth had felt awfully dry.

How was that even possible? In all the rubble and dirt? At first, he was sure he was dead. An angel had come to fetch him, to finally put an end to all this hell. Maybe God was indeed real and maybe even gracious to him, even after he had taken so many lives.

Tommy was trying to stay calm as he clutched the rifle in his hand, shit he wasn’t prepared for this now! But before he could do anything else but wonder how to get back, a bullet slammed into a wall just a few meters away from him. Fuck, he was trapped!

A few minutes ago he had been sitting with his comrades in the camp, in the middle of the village, before they had gotten attacked out of nowhere. Seeking protection, he had run and run and run, right into looming darkness only to no longer know where exactly he had run off to... was he still in their fields? or already on enemy territory?

He crawled further out of the line of fire, not worrying about how the already dirty uniform got even dirtier. Maybe the dirt would dye the Bloodstaines a calming brown, not that it would matter anyway, but the smell and the color of fresh blood was something Tommy had learned to despise, and having it on his own close didn’t really help.

But as soon as he had found a new hiding spot, he started to hear hushed voices. Alarmed he stood still and pressed his body into the small cavity behind a wall. Was he in enemy territory? Or where those voices of his men?

“Es… es tut.. es tut so weh bitte… bitte Hilf mir!” 

(it...it...it hurts so much! Please….please just help me!)

He couldn't make out the words, but it was definitely not English nor was it French.

“es wird alles Gut… alles wird gut!” 

(everything’s going to be just fine….everythings going to be just fine!)

Suddenly he heard a second voice, this time female, and he withdrew further behind the wall.

“ich muss das nur abdrücken, dann bringen wir dich zurück… wir bringen dich nach Haus, ja? Du wirst es nachhause schaffen, ja?” 

(I just have to press down here ...then we’re going to bring you back… were gonna bring you home, ok? you will make it home, ok?)

Tommy was startled by the desperate sound of the voice the shear hurt it was displaying. 

“wie heißt du Soldat? Wie alt bist du..? Nenn mir ...nenn mir deinen Namen.” 

(What’s your name Soldier? How old are you? Tell me….tell me your name.) 

the hushed voice mixed in with the wind and the rattling gunfire in the background, the voice had become so quiet, that Tommy had already thought the voice would never sound again until it suddenly croaked.

“E….Eli….Elias. Sieb….Siebzehn...Ich..ich will doch nur nach Hause gehen...nach Hause….nur nach Hause.” 

(E....Eli...Elias. Seve….Seventeen...I ...I just wanna go home now...Home ...just home) 

“Hey! Hey! Elias! Bleib bei mir! Bitte!” 

(Hey! Hey! Elias! Stay with me! Please!)

After that, all that Tommy heard was silence, just the sound of ragged breathing and a quiet sniffling sound was coming from around the corner, as he tried to scoot closer. Finally assured that there was no one else around he peaked around the Corner. He would be able to deal with just one woman! 

But nothing could have prepared him for this sight. 

There, in the midst of the blood-stained red dirt. Sat an angel. 

Wonderful shiny hair shimmering in the moonlight, nice smooth skin was drawn over a beautiful body frame wearing a white nurse's dress. It almost looked like a fucking dream! Had God finally decided to be kind to him? Sending him the most beautiful creature from heaven? It couldn´t be...right? It seemed bizarre, perverse even. 

Here in the cruelty and bloody mud sat the purest creature of them all! 

He couldn´t believe his eyes, so he had to close them. 

But as he opened them again, nothing had changed. She still sat there, pressing her Hands over the soldier's wounded leg, desperately trying to get him back.

Slowly the reality of the situation seemed to dawn upon her. She was on her own in the middle of a dark foreign village, a blood-smeared corpse lying right in front of her.

Tommy took a step closer as if enchanted, without realizing that he was defenseless.

He stepped right on a branch, which immediately broke with a soft crack. But that was all it had taken to shake her out of her state.

“Hallo!?” (Hello?) 

Startled, the woman looked up and panicked at the sight of the British soldier. 

Fearful, she tried to get to her feet as quickly as possible. 

"Nein ... nein bitte!" (No…..no please!)

Begging for her life, she looked right up into his eyes, her own slowly filling up with water once again.

Tommy suddenly understood how he must appear to her, he himself was bloody and dirty, he held his gun tightly in his hand and stared down at her! He must be looking like something those fucking people tell their kids the bloody barbaric Brits must look like! Like some sort of monster! Everyone would be scared by that. He quickly raised his arms and shook his head. He wouldn't just shoot a defenseless woman like that!

“I...I won’t hurt you!” 

He was able to finally speak to her and tried his best to look as harmless as an enemy with a weapon was able to look. 

But the woman only looked up to him questioningly before pointing to his weapon. “du….no? Not bum bum?” She tried to mimic the sound of a riffle and slowly stood up.

Now Tommy could see her real beauty and was even more stunned. “No...No...I won't bum bum” He repeated her motion before he sighted. This was definitely not what he had expected.

“Do...Do you know where we are?” He didn’t know if she was even able to understand him properly...but trying couldn’t hurt, right?

He expectantly looked at the girl in front of him who just awkwardly smiled while raising her shoulders “I...I not sprechen Englisch..so gut?” 

(Y/N) didn´t really know what to make of that strange English soldier in front of her. He looked like he had gone through hell and back, but that was something she had seen around every corner in the past two months she had been here. Maybe you would think she would have gotten used to it by now. But she really wasn´t. She wished for nothing more than for this stupid war to be finally over.

No one in camp was still in for Volk and Kaiser...hell rumor had it that all those letters they were sending home had never been delivered because of their contents, the truth. no one wanted to hear the goddamn truth! No one wanted to believe that they were stuck. Not one single day had they been able to make progress… they were dying like flies out here for nothing and no one even cared. No one fucking cared about the soldiers losing their lives over some fucking royalties’ pain in the ass!

“Fuck the war, fuck the King.” Was all Tommy mumbled when reaching for a cigarette in his pocket. He finally had found one and stuck it in between his lips, not missing how the Nurse right beside him was eyeing him up. 

“Want one as well little missy eh?” He couldn´t help himself but smile a little. The irony was just too much to take. 

Here he stood. Offering a stranger, let alone an enemy a fucking cigarette while the constant background sound of gunfire was blasting in their ears. Quickly and wordlessly reaching in her own pockets, (Y/N) got out a little steel lighter and held it to his Lips. “Hier.” 

She whispered and watched as Tommy took a long and desperate drag of his cigarette, before holding it out for her to take.

 Slightly smiling she put her lighter back and took the cigarette between her own lips, mimicking him ever so slightly, before she leaned back against the cold Wall of this French Building. 

“Ja...Fuck the king...fuck the war” She copied his words with a thick accent which made it sound kind of funny. So much so that Tommy had to hold back a laugh. 

He must be looking like an utter mad man. Dirty, bloody, sweaty, smoking and lost with a strange but goddamn gorgeous girl he just met. 

But it gave him a kind of strange comfort, he didn’t know why, but he suddenly felt weirdly calm and the adrenalin in his Blood didn´t feel like poison rushing through his veins. for once he felt at ease. Even still standing on the battlefield, he was feeling calm and put together It was a strange feeling he hadn´t felt since he had left home.

They both seemed to enjoy the somewhat relaxed atmosphere as they kept smoking in silence, right next to each other, two different worlds, complete strangers but yet so familiar with each other. 

Tommy was sure, if he ever would have told Ada about it, she would have told him about how movie-worthy this was... But thank god he never did.

Shortly after they had finished their cigarette, the young woman started to giggle, maybe she saw the irony of the situation as well. 

Slightly looking back down at her, Thomas couldn´t help himself but smile a little at her caring face. 

"What´s your name love?" 

He suddenly heard himself ask. How stupid he was...Fraternization with the enemy. Sighing he looked up in the pitch-black cloudy night sky.

"name?" he heard her soft voice repeat after him...her brows cutely furrowed before her face light up. "Ahh, Name....mein Name ist (Y/N)" She proudly stated while looking at him, expecting him to tell her his. "Thomas....Or Tommy. But you got a much more beautiful name (Y/N)" He playfully grinned down at her.

You could easily tell both of them were in their own little world, completely forgetting the world around them. Completely enchanted which one another. 

Tommy still asked himself if maybe, maybe if they had met back home in small heath... would they have lived a different life? Would they have had a future together there? He would never know. He could only dream.

Both of them, despite having difficulties understanding each other's languages, engaged in a real conversation, small talk nothing important really. It was just a slight break from their hard normal. But as is with all good things, nothing ever lasts. Just like their little escape from reality. 

(Y/N) was the first who heard. 

"(Y/N) Wo zur Hölle steckst du!? Bitte sag mir nicht dass du drauf gegangen bist!?" whispered a voice around the corners. 

((Y/N) yhere the hell are you!? Please tell me you didn´t just got killed!?)

"oh, scheise..."  (Y/N) whispered more to herself than to anyone before looking back at Tommy, while his own stare lingered on his weapon, which as of now was laying on the dirty ground. Quickly (Y/N) stud back up straight and wiped her Hand over her Face. "Tommy." She slightly smiled while saying his name. "Geh" quickly shushing and shoving him around the corner he seemed to understand. "Will we....will we see each other again?" He blatantly and somewhat sheepishly asked. Again she just shrugged him off, seemingly in a hurry. "I don't know either (Y/N)" He whispered to no one, as the girl already hat disappeared into the direction of the other voice. 

Tommy sighed again before he tried to find his own way back before those German bastards would come to collect their dead.

That night he wasn´t able to sleep, not that sleep came easily around the terrified soldiers. But just this time it wasn´t because of the gunshots, the screaming, and the pain. But because of her face, beautiful little Angle... she didn´t belong here.  

After a week Tommy still wasn´t over his little crush and the others started to notice that something was up with him but thought it was just something they all had to go through, they never spoke to him about it. And god was he thankful for that.

He actually had given up hope, that he would ever see her again, but after one very straining day, he stumbled across her once more.

Wanting nothing more than spending a few seconds in private, he had made his way a few alleys away from their current camp. The Germans were far away enough to do so, or so he had thought, when he heard a few laughing voices from another ally. Could it be?

"Oh hör auf damit (Y/N)!" (Oh stop it (Y/N)!)

YEAH! It definitely had been her voice...but who were the other ones? Some other nurses? 

Just before he could think about his next move, the voices seemed to get quieter and quieter as they supposedly made their way back. 

But when he thought he was alone again, he heard her voice clear as day. "Tommy!" She whispered as she rounded the corner and stared him straight in the eyes before putting on a somewhat friendly smile.

"(Y/N)" He breathed out, a little shocked that he hadn´t heard her approaching. "I didn't think I would see you again!" He exclaimed surprised but nonetheless happy. 

And just like that, they seemed to find their way to each other more and more often. Even going as far as clumsily setting up times and places to meet at. It was ridiculous how they seemed to forget the world around each other every time they met.

And as time passed, they learned a lot more about each other, even going as far as learning a little bit of each other's languages. Both of them knew that this wouldn´t last. That this would never work out.

But everyone deserves a bit of happiness, don´t they? At least that's what they thought as they sat upon this hill. The moon shining down illuminating their faces.

"Can I kiss you again?" Tommy whispered to her, as she sat on his lap, forehead pressed against hers, totally lost in her eyes, as she giggled and slightly nodded. "Ja, of course, mein Liebster" 

and just like that, he pressed his lips against her once more. Fingers slightly gracing her skin. Just as hers made their way to his collar.

That's how he found himself craving her touch, her voice, the over joyful smile she had put on display for him once. He hated himself for every fucking day back in France when he could have just scooped her up and run away with her. Start over completely new. But he never did. And just like that, he had been send back home. To his real life. To his real Family, with a hole in his heart, never to be filled again, and Tommy knew, from the day he left he would be missing her until the end of his pathetic life. 

Without ever being able to satisfy this craving, he knew there was no other woman for him. he tried. He really did. Just like she had told him to do. But it never worked. All he ever did was hope for her to just appear again one day, to just walk into his life again as she did once before. but it was just like they loved to say. 

They were never supposed to meet. 

Their worlds were never meant to collide... Hell, their worlds were so different that their both knew that they would never ever function. 

Not in this life not under those circumstances...definitely not in a thousand years. All because they were supposed to be enemies. 

 Life was cruel, life was mean, life would never care for a pair of star-crossed lovers. 

~ Stranger that's all I see when I look into your eyes,

 A soulmate who wasn´t meant to be,

 Stranger, who knows all my secrets can pull me apart and break my heart