#geple

It’s crazy to think that the person you held so much for so long can actually do you dirty. My feelings may fade, but the respect I had for what we’ve been through will remain. Unfortunately, even that little knot that ties us both will also get tore and the reason behind is all because I let myself get attached to you that intensely. I’ve let myself believe that there’s goodness left in you, that you treat me differently just because we knew what we had was different. But just like any other relationships, we were so basic. You were so basic. 

I didn’t know what I did wrong, for you to treat me so viciously, that each and every day, my demons kill me. I even surrendered my life to them but from that moment I faced the mirror, and saw how miserable I looked that it reflects all my pain, insanity, and burden that I’ve fully embraced and have it let lived inside me for so long, longer than how much I’ve held you, made me realized that life has so much more to offer.

I’ve come to the point where every right decisions became wrong, where every little courage became none and where every time I am convinced to cut all connections with you, you came running back so vividly strong. I even thought that you had a sixth sense, the ability to know when I am fully decided to move on. But I was wrong. It was the universe, consistently testing me if I was really strong and confident enough to forget you, to forget us.

A year hasn’t been enough for me to be dauntless amidst these layers of circumstances but I knew for a fact that I’ve tried. I’ve tried a countless time to be unafraid to free myself from the lingering affection I have left from our memories. And by a good fortune, the universe brought the same soul as I am that he gave a good grip in my wrist and pulled me from this tiring vigor.

This soul that yearns exactly the same as I yearn for this void in my heart to get filled by a fresher outlook and love. He was the light that made me assert my worth and that made me realized that I’ve been fooling myself of the nonsense emotions I’ve kept on turning back. 

In this chaotic mind I had in a year, he did not lessen its vagueness but he adds up to it. I wondered if this is another wasteful investment, if I am just a normal girl he would date just because he finds me interesting and thereafter, would ditch me. But time after time, I felt his sincerity, his deep thoughts that made me speechless, his optimism and passion for what he loves and how realistic he is. He makes me step into his world little by little that my anxiety in meeting new people diminishes. He introduces me to my old self, the old me that I’ve betrayed and left that I didn’t know I will come across again.