#genderqueerness

a girl with a dark side, the incomprehensible abysmal darkness that covers up 30% of the corner of the room

im not a "woman" or a "female", im just a girl, and even that is 'kind of'

GENDERQUEER PRIDE

The old flag is kinda…… well… so I decided to make my own genderqueer flag!

The colors have no specific meanings and are simply meant to bear a resemblance to the original genderqueer flag, while meshing together better

My female side: “chat I need to chop wood.”

Yeah, no problem, I'm opening to answering this!

To be honest, it took me a LONG while to figure it out, even though when looking back on it a lot of signs were there (I was in my late 20s when I sat down and slowly put the pieces together). The main one being that growing up I never really liked things associated with my assigned gender. I would also often wear clothes more commonly worn by the opposite gender. But aside from not having the vocabulary for or knowledge about what I was feeling at the time, I think the thing that kept me back the most from finding out that I was genderqueer was the fact that I never felt particularly dysphoric about my body or myself. I'm still pretty happy with the body that I happen to have been born with.

The "ah ha" moment was realizing that it's gender euphoria more than dysphoria that is an indicator of gender queerness. I realized that folks "mistaking" me for the opposite gender made me really happy. I got kind of excited that I could confuse people in that way. Online, using "they/them" for people you don't know is much more common, and when I saw people using those pronouns for me, that also made me feel happy.

Though, to be clear, I'm actually fine with people using he/him and she/her with me as well. I prefer they/them in general because it is the most ambiguous pronoun set, and I like the anonymity it affords me when online, but gendered pronouns are cool with me, too (I know that's not the case with everyone, but that is the case with me).

What I've found is that it's kind of like how cats are with boxes. I hated being forced into the box of my assigned gender. But if you just left the box out, along with boxes of other pronouns/genders, I might hop into all of them from time to time if left on my own. I think the importance is more if it's my decision to play in the boxes or not. Otherwise, I feel no need to really present as any specific gender. I'm not one for that kind of "performance" so to speak, I like just being me and comfortable in my own skin.

So in short, it's the combination of not really liking the box that I was placed in as a kid and feeling happy when people refer to me with gender neutral pronouns that made me realize that I was non-binary. Everyone is different, but those were the indicators for me.

A conversation between the two of them about lineage and bloodline, particularly in relation to both Arwen's complex family history and to the differences between the expression and realization of gender identity among men and elves. For instance:

"And I have learned something as well," Arwen said, "and I thank you for that, my friend. For in all my years upon this world, I never knew how thoroughly Men were bound to the shaping of their bones and flesh." She looked down at her hands, still as smooth and long-fingered as that of any elf, and yet as sundered from elvenkind as those of any mortal Man. "Such weight the flesh of Men must bear, to be so frozen in its shape and yet divided from its soul!"

Éowyn put her hand into one of Arwen's palms and gave it a tight, comforting squeeze. "It is not so bad as all that, my lady," she said. "We learn to work around the limits of our flesh, when those limits are all the world we know. My Faramir found himself within the secret shape of his own heart, and I found myself beneath a borrowed helm and under the weight of heavy wounds. We mostly find ourselves one way or the other, in the end."

*For the purposes of this poll, "cis" is defined as any person who fully and exclusively identifies with their assigned gender at birth. This includes people who have questioned their gender in the past, and have come to the conclusion that they are indeed cis. "Trans" is defined as any person who is genderqueer in any way, including those who do not fully or exclusively identify as their gender assigned at birth. This includes people who are MTF, FTM, nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid, multigender, xenogenders, etc. Finally, "questioning" is defined as any person who is currently questioning their gender identity for any reason. If you are unsure what category you fall into, choose the one that best describes your experiences.

**For the purposes of this poll, the term "opposite gender" is used to refer to gender within the terms of the traditional Western gender binary of male and female, with female being the "opposite" of male and vice versa.

With that out of the way...