#gendercommunication

In society, it feels like an unspoken rule to meet deadlines. To follow the timeline that our parents and our grandparents, and the rest of our ancestors have walked. That we have to graduate by a certain age, get ahead in our careers, and then find the one and get married and have kids. While no one voices these things, to me, it has always been known. I am a year behind graduating compared to the people I graduated high school with, and because of this, I feel like I'm failing. I am reading a book that pointed this out; she and her husband got divorced, and she is now 35 and feels like she no longer fits on the timeline. Her friends are all happily married and have kids, and she is back to being single and wanting to restart her career. This book has made me realize that there really is no timeline. You can go back to college at 35 or any age. You can meet the love of your life and get married two weeks later. You can also choose not to get married or to not have kids. You don't have to fit the unspoken societal expectations that we are quietly pressured by. There is no timeline; whatever line you walk and work through is the right one. I'm not sure if this should fit into the portfolio, but I think it works for me because it's been a big concept in my life lately.

To me, the Ozempic craze dwindles down to celebrities, influencers, and even everyday people who want to fit in with what the media and society deem as "desirable". Being skinny and thin is what the media and society have deemed as the social hierarchy. In Western society, thinness equals status; it represents discipline by being in control and desirability. Other things that go along with this are that wealthy people can afford Ozempic for aesthetic purposes, while diabetic patients might not be able to access it anymore. This craze is a mirror reflecting society's most uncomfortable truths: we value thinness over health, beauty over well-being, and conformity over individuality, especially when it comes to women. It is not just about the drug. It is about a system that communicates worth through bodies, and that system is built on gender, power, and control.

I came across this TikTok, and I knew right away that I wanted to include it in my gender portfolio. We have talked about this numerous times in class, and it was really heartwarming to watch how this mother handled her son's curiosity. The caption says, "Imagine I deny his curiosity and miss out on this moment of connection just because of my rigid and baseless views of gender norms". It was handled well, and she did not shame him for asking questions about the makeup or experimenting with it. You can also tell that it is a healthy relationship because her son is comfortable enough to ask questions. This was encouraging to see that she didn't hold him back within the confines of gender norms by saying that makeup is only for girls and that he doesn't need to learn about it.

The other night, I was at my friend's house downtown, and my dad asked me why I was there so late at night. He said that it is a bad part of town and that I should not be out so late. He also demanded that I be walked to my car (which my guy friends always do). While I don't know this for sure, I think that if he had a son, he would not say anything because the assumption that goes with a male is that they can protect themselves. Whereas I am a small, defenseless girl who needs protecting. While that is true, I am pretty weak, and I know I would not win in a fight or against a man, it is still discouraging to realize that that is the reality. Men don't typically worry about being in dangerous places at night because they can protect themselves and are often not targeted. Whereas women have to pay attention to their surroundings in sketchy areas and at night. It is instilled into us to not be distracted by our phones, to have pepper spray or a knife on us, and to lock our cars immediately when we get into them. We have a different experience and reality than men do. This is an experience that I have lived all of my life, and it really stood out to me the other night how normalized it has become.

I came across this video on TikTok where a gamer girl says something innocent, and the guys on the game and headset attack and harass her. They say nasty and disrespectful things because she is a girl. They are often not taken seriously by male gamers, especially in competitive and hardcore gaming spaces. They are frequently questioned about their gaming knowledge, subjected to gatekeeping, and also talked over and dismissed. If they do get attention, most of the time it is unwanted sexual comments and being hit on or being hypersexualized. This behavior can push women and girls out of these spaces and force them to hide their identity by using a gender-neutral name and not speaking on the mic. It is not only disgusting but also frustrating that women are subjected to this kind of behavior all for wanting to do a hobby that they enjoy and are sometimes better at than males are.

I stumbled across this on Facebook after we had our guest speakers who discussed women in sports. I also thought that it was fitting because I met Holly Rowe and was able to have a private Q&A with her and she was able to talk to me about her experience in sports and how she has had multiple experiences where men in the industry will promise her things if she gives them sexual favors in return. Men's and women's student athlete experiences are drastically different, whether you look at the judgment that they face or even the funding and societal expectations. Women are held to unrealistic expectations. If they wear something too revealing, mispronounce a word, or make one tiny mistake, they are harassed, and it is said that they don't belong in a "man's" field of sports. If a guy does that, it is laughed off or not even pointed out.

#gendercommunication

#genderperformance